Collection of Lame Jokes

[topsquark]

View attachment 356882

We really need a "thhppt!" emoticon.

-Dan

 

[fresh_42]

 

[collinsmark]

(Source: https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/paradox-2)

 

[nuuskur]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[davenn]

 

[berkeman]

I didn't see that coming...

 

[Ibix]

So I got to work at 9.15 today and the boss yelled "You should have been here at 9!".

"Why?" I asked him. "What happened at 9?"

 

[fresh_42]

 

[davenn]

 

[DennisN]

 

[WWGD]

I took a quick look at Magnus Carlsen playing Aronian and thought Aronian was a hunchback dwarf:

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 356755​

I'm a Virgo. Us Virgo don't believe in Astrology.

BTW, I heard of this guy asking to join the _ Astronomical_ society , writing: " Hi, I'm John. I'm a Sagittarius and I would like to be a member of your Society.

 

[Ibix]

I'm a Virgo. Us Virgo don't believe in Astrology.

Similarly, never anthropomorphise computers. They hate it when you do that.

 

[dextercioby]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[davenn]

View attachment 357019

good luck with that hahhaha

 

[davenn]

Did you know that Cyprus is just a more aerodynamic version of the USA ?!

 

[dwarde]

 

[WWGD]

When Putin's young grandson tried on some clothes in the corner dressing room of Harrods, he was a little Russian dressing on the side.

 

[DennisN]

It's in Swedish, but it says "Italian football/soccer game":
(they are known for feigning injuries)

 

[DennisN]

 

[berkeman]

(they are known for feigning injuries)

I work many soccer games on EMS standby (in the US), so I'm very familiar with this.

 

[davenn]

I work many soccer games on EMS standby (in the US), so I'm very familiar with this.

It's why I refuse to watch the game .... it's just garbage. They wouldnt last 10 seconds in a real
footy match, AFL, Rugby Union etc

 

[davenn]

OMG seriously ??!! who are these people ??

 

[jtbell]

"I can't believe it's got milk!"

 

[Orodruin]

It's in Swedish, but it says "Italian football/soccer game":
(they are known for feigning injuries)

View attachment 357089

I was *this* close to posting this one last night, but switched apps a few times and Facebook reloaded …

It’s a foosball game.

 

[Orodruin]

 

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[davenn]

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[Orodruin]

 

[DaveC426913]

If Chuck Norris tried to break a Nokia phone, what would happen?

 

[fresh_42]

If Chuck Norris tried to break a Nokia phone, what would happen?

 

[davenn]

 

[nuuskur]

If Chuck Norris tried to break a Nokia phone, what would happen?

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 357164

I've done this for years. I have a 75% success rate!

 

[pinball1970]

It's why I refuse to watch the game .... it's just garbage. They wouldnt last 10 seconds in a real
footy match, AFL, Rugby Union etc

Rugby League. It's Like Union without, kicking, scrums and line outs. Just run tackle run tackle, absolutely brutal.

Football fights tend to be like this (quite funny)



When tempers flare in a Rugby League match.

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[BillTre]

Bill Belichick vs. Captain Kangoroo:

 

[jtbell]

Capt. K sure didn't have any companions like Belichick's when I was a kid c. 1960. At least not on the air...

 

[Orodruin]

By the way, I have been thinking about avocados. I wish the avocado makers would change the toy inside from time to time. I have like 100 wooden balls already.