Collection of Lame Jokes

[fresh_42]

A company, Genesis10, offered me a job as a Nursing Assistant, something I know nothing about. It must be some misunderstanding, some type of mistake.

Genesis 10 is a who-is-who and reads like a telephone book, everybody partakes.

 

[WWGD]

Genesis 10 is a who-is-who and reads like a telephone book, everybody partakes.

Yet their database or their data mining badly needs a hug.

 

[Orodruin]

Luxury!

 

[Orodruin]

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 357518

A beekeper's dozen.

 

[davenn]

 

[jtbell]

If she finds out, he's going to be eating cat food from here on out.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 357565

I guess you named your WiFi FBI-surveillance-truck-A101.

 

[WWGD]

What are the odds?
Uber driver by the name Pikav Andropov.

 

[gmax137]

What are the odds?
Uber driver by the name Pikav Andropov.

Isn't there another thread about names and occupational destiny?

 

[gmax137]

This morning I was fixing breakfast for my wife and myself. She was giving our cat some of his canned food. She said, "I got you a fork out..."

 

[Orodruin]

View attachment 357565

At least the CIA spends government funding on highly relevant threats to the English language.

 

[WWGD]

Is " Van Driver" a Dutch last name?

 

[fresh_42]

Is " Van Driver" a Dutch last name?

No.

 

[BillTre]

No.

Is it a Dutch job?

 

[fresh_42]

Is it a Dutch job?

By the speed anglicisms spread into other languages, probably yes.

 

[gmax137]

Sorry, I thought we were talking about the motorcycle pinstriper, Von Dutch...

 

[BillTre]

 

[jtbell]

Why did the baby seal cross the road? Maybe it was looking for some clam pizza.

 

[Ibix]

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light: and Chuck Norris said: Say please.

 

[fresh_42]

Proof of ancient aliens found:

 

[fresh_42]

"Doctor, where do you take me to?"
"To the morgue."
"But I'm not dead, yet!"
"And we aren't there, yet."

 

[WWGD]

"Doctor, where do you take me to?"
"To the morgue."
"But I'm not dead, yet!"
"And we aren't there, yet."

But they have to reserve a grave first.

 

[WWGD]

They forced out Officer Alexi Godunov . They wouldn't leave Godunov alone.

 

[berkeman]

 

[jtbell]

They forced out Officer Alexi Godunov . They wouldn't leave Godunov alone.

Rimsky-Korsakov tinkered with Mussorgsky's opera because he didn't think it was Godunov.

 

[jack action]

My friend Sarah left her bottle of Pepsi at a rest stop about 60 miles south of Tampa.

That’s where Sarah's soda is.

 

[davenn]

View attachment 357647

you really shouldn't give me ideas hahahaha

 

[davenn]

I think many of us get lost on this map

 

[Ibix]

I think many of us get lost on this map

View attachment 357693

...where's PF?

 

[Orodruin]

...where's PF?

I think it is a glade in the social media forest ...

 

[Borg]

I think it is a glade in the social media forest ...

Which should be mostly on fire.

 

[Orodruin]

Which should be mostly on fire.

 

[WWGD]

 

[dwarde]

 

[DaveC426913]

I think many of us get lost on this map

View attachment 357693

This would be even more amusing if it were in the format of Bill Keane's Family Circus 'Dotted Line' comics.

 

[BillTre]

 

[WWGD]

1.4 MB? Luxury!

When I were a lad, we wrote our programs on punched card, max 80 bytes per card.

You had bytes?

 

[fresh_42]

You had bytes?

No joke, I had an Assembler class by a professor who had an old machine in his office where you could set single bits per switch.

 

[WWGD]

My friend Sarah left her bottle of Pepsi at a rest stop about 60 miles south of Tampa.

That’s where Sarah's soda is.

If it was small, it would be near Minneapolis .
Spoiler:
Minneapolis, Mini Soda.

 

[fresh_42]

If it was small, it would be near Minneapolis .
Spoiler:
Minneapolis, Mini Soda.

It is far more complicated to find Sarah's toga.

 

[jbriggs444]

No joke, I had an Assembler class by a professor who had an old machine in his office where you could set single bits per switch.

That was standard practice back in the day. I toggled in the boot loader for a PDP-11 using the front panel switches many times (late 70's).

 

[WWGD]

If it was small, it would be near Minneapolis .
Spoiler:
Minneapolis, Mini Soda.

Or if she had last name " Jevo".

 

[fresh_42]

Or if she had last name " Jevo".

Paris' Hilton, on the other hand, was easy to find.

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[phinds]

 

[fresh_42]