Collection of Lame Jokes

[Borg]

That's knot funny.

 

[jtbell]

News flash: Old MacDonald the farmer has won an award at the state fair for being out standing in his field.

 

[gmax137]

That's knot funny.

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 356491

It's Knott('s)?

 

[WWGD]

 

[Orodruin]

That's knot funny.

https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxmZWjXQYb48CLDOvQFmNw8XTPgGcXv7bL?si=zVM2wupRpaNUFJQh

 

[jack action]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[Borg]

I must have missed that executive order.

 

[pinball1970]

View attachment 356535

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Orodruin]

Swedish newspaper column ages ago asking people on the streer questions;

1) Do you care if the merchandise you buy is manufactured by children.
2) Do you do anything to control if it is or not?

The replies on the sides are what you would expect. Circled answer is:
1) Yes, chikdren have no sense of quality, which is noticeable in the product,
2) No.

 

[pinball1970]

 

[pinball1970]

 

[DaveC426913]

Interviewer: "And where do you see yourself five years from now?"

Me: "Same as usual: mirrors, windows, other reflective surfaces."

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 356544

How about curling?

 

[fresh_42]

Interviewer: "And where do you see yourself five years from now?"

Me: "Same as usual: mirrors, windows, other reflective surfaces."

Interviewer: "What are your strengths?"

Me: "Understanding complex subjects based on little information."

Interviewer: "And what are your weak...?"

Me: "A weekly salary of $5,000 is acceptable."

 

[Orodruin]

 

[pinball1970]

Interviewer: "And where do you see yourself five years from now?"

You could have answered.

"American."

As a Canadian.....

Sorry too soon?

 

[WWGD]

How about curling?

Bet he prefers his hair straight.

 

[WWGD]

You could have answered.

"American."

As a Canadian.....

Sorry too soon?

Ditto for the Greenlandeese.

 

[jack action]

You could have answered.

"American."

As a Canadian.....

Sorry too soon?

Canadians are already Americans; they're just not United Statesians.

 

[DennisN]

 

[fresh_42]

Canadians are already Americans; they're just not United Statesians.

A friend of mine calls them "the better Americans".

 

[WWGD]

An overly long book about ww2 was abridged over the river Kwai.

 

[DaveC426913]

Interviewer: "What are your strengths?"

Me: "I'd say not listening is my biggest weakness."

 

[DaveC426913]

A friend of mine calls them "the better Americans".

We call ourselves "nervous neighbours living above a crack house".

 

[fresh_42]

We call ourselves "nervous neighbours living above a crack house".

There is a common idiom in German: "something borders stupidity". It is used in discussions and the question of what this 'something' is is usually not answered explicitly since it emerges from context. E.g. you can say that calling for the police after you crashed your car while drunk "borders stupidity". So asking "what borders stupidity" without a specific example doesn't make sense. At least I thought so until I repeatedly read exactly that question on social media.

 

[pinball1970]

My latest additions taken in the best spirits hopefully. It is just that ammunition keeps falling onto my lap so I fire a few.

Firing up in the air, falling harmlessly to the ground and I painted a smiley face on before loading.

 

[DaveC426913]

There is a common idiom in German: "something borders stupidity". It is used in discussions and the question of what this 'something' is is usually not answered explicitly since it emerges from context.

This sounds a lot like the Western saying: "[something] borders on stupidity", as in: "going boating without life jackets borders on stupidity".

 

[fresh_42]

This sounds a lot like the Western saying: "[something] borders on stupidity", as in: "going boating without life jackets borders on stupidity".

Yes, that's the same. I just didn't know whether the German preposition "an" also existed in its English version so I erroneously omitted it. I will never be able to use or hear it again without thinking of the answer the social media suggests these days. But before you use it, do not forget Mexico.

 

[fresh_42]

Caption: At some point, everyone loses control.

 

[Borg]

I think that the borders of stupidity have grown a lot recently. Must have been an annexation of common sense to have grown that much.

 

[phinds]

Interviewer: Please give me a one word description of your work ethic
Candidate: Sometimes I don't follow directions well.

 

[Orodruin]

View attachment 356552

Caption: At some point, everyone loses control.

That’s inaccurate. Obviously in complete control.

 

[dwarde]

 

[Orodruin]

 

[berkeman]

You're starting to scare me Oro...

 

[256bits]

egad. The tariffs are already here.

 

[Tom.G]

egad. The tariffs are already here.

And someone doesn't what us to know about it!

 

[fresh_42]

And someone doesn't what us to know about it!

View attachment 356579

#metoo

 

[Orodruin]

You're starting to scare me Oro...

The comic has been popping up in my Facebook feed lately and I have come to appreciate it for how it says regular things with words that seem more descriptive. In particular those relating to parenting.

 

[Orodruin]

Speaking of which …

 

[berkeman]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 356609

And it was the first name of The Greatest.

 

[BillTre]

 

[DennisN]

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 356609

Of course, Megan Thee Stallion is in a completely different category.

 

[DennisN]

I loved Snoopy when I was a child, and I still do.