Collection of Lame Jokes
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DaveC426913
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*sigh* It took me longer than I'm proud of to get this.WWGD said:
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Our Ford joke is less nasty. But it plays with words, hence cannot be translated.Borg said:
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I did not believe that FORD was so bad, at least over here. So I checked the statistics of our largest automobile association ...
Source: https://www.adac.de/rund-ums-fahrzeug/unfall-schaden-panne/adac-pannenstatistik/
Source: https://www.adac.de/rund-ums-fahrzeug/unfall-schaden-panne/adac-pannenstatistik/
DennisN
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I had a Ford Fiesta during university and can't complain. At 100 mph it started to rattle, but otherwise, it was ok.WWGD said:
DennisN
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Number of breakdowns in 2022 per 1,000 registered cars. The year denotes the first registration year.WWGD said:
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Chrome plus right-click "Translate to English" works fine!berkeman said:Sheesh! Didn't you read his link?
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It probably won't win a prize for eloquent expressions, but it is not bad. And the more formulas and numbers a page has, the better the translation. I sometimes use it in case I find a German Wikipedia page better than the English version since I'm usually too lazy to translate it. It delivers 90% of the work and I only have to correct the mistakes. It multiplies the number of available pages enormously. But I admit that German and English are not that different, so the results are normally good enough.berkeman said:TIL !
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Yes, I have a similar suspicion.berkeman said:
I don't like the memory management in FF. Chrome splits into various threads whereas FF piles up in one. I hate to say it, but big <insert a company or branch of your choice> isn't automatically evil.
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Why have I never heard of "Für Ossis reicht das" before?fresh_42 said:
("Good enough for people in/from East Germany", although the translation loses some of the meaning)
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Mine goes:mfb said:
"What is the oldest car in the world?"
"A Ford. In der Bibel steht, Adam und Eva trieben es in einem Ford."
Science Advisor
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A chance to look up old friends?jack action said:
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Middle ages. Two fortresses are fighting each other. The first one shoots a cannonball. The second one shoots. The first one shoots. The fighting stops. The second fortress sends a negotiator to ask: why have we stopped fighting? The first one answers: you have got the cannonball.
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Patient: I have terrible wind doctor. It’s very uncomfortable. Fortunately it is odourless. And when I break-wind it is silent. In fact it’s happening now.
Doctor: Try this [writes prescription].
One week later…
Patient: That medicine for my wind was terrible doctor. I still have wind but now it smells absolutely dreadful.
Doctor: Ah, good. That’s your sense of smell sorted. Let’s see what we can do about the deafness.
Doctor: Try this [writes prescription].
One week later…
Patient: That medicine for my wind was terrible doctor. I still have wind but now it smells absolutely dreadful.
Doctor: Ah, good. That’s your sense of smell sorted. Let’s see what we can do about the deafness.
David Lewis
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A Piranha can devour a small child in 30 seconds!
Anyways, I lost my job at SeaWorld today...
Anyways, I lost my job at SeaWorld today...
David Lewis
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An inebriated gentleman runs up to a policeman: “Officer, you got to help me. Somebody stole my car!”
“OK, sir, where did you have your car last?”
(Holding up ignition key) “Right here on the end of this key!”
“Alright,” smiled the cop, “Let’s go down to the station and report it. And before we go, please zip up your zipper.”
The drunk looks down and says, “Oh, my God. Somebody stole my girlfriend too.”
“OK, sir, where did you have your car last?”
(Holding up ignition key) “Right here on the end of this key!”
“Alright,” smiled the cop, “Let’s go down to the station and report it. And before we go, please zip up your zipper.”
The drunk looks down and says, “Oh, my God. Somebody stole my girlfriend too.”
David Lewis
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Running low on cash, I went into Mini Mart and said, "I'd like $5 on pump number one."
The clerk said, "Where are you going? Pump number two?"
The clerk said, "Where are you going? Pump number two?"