Collection of Lame Jokes

[jtbell]

My friend Sarah left her bottle of Pepsi at a rest stop about 60 miles south of Tampa.

That’s where Sarah's soda is.

If she still had it, maybe she’d let her friend Missy sip.

 

[gmax137]

What did Delaware?
Idaho, Alaska...
ahh her New Jersey...

 

[dwarde]

 

[Tom.G]

What!? A pornographic cat?

(Turn it upside-down if you don't see it)

 

[Borg]

Wives have started sending emails to their husbands asking for 5 bullets by midnight listing what they did around the house last week. Failure to comply would result in a transfer to the doghouse.

 

[fresh_42]

I can do math really fast!

How fast?

Ask me something.

How much is 17 times 369?

619.

Wrong.

But fast!

 

[WWGD]

Any part of the rocket could be reused. Who(which) can you thrust?

 

[DaveC426913]

Typo?

 

[WWGD]

Typo?

Not O, but AB ,IIRC.

But Taipei personality.

 

[WWGD]

 

[Borg]

Cutting out the middleman.

 

[BillTre]

 

[jtbell]

I just read an article about antigravity.

I couldn’t put it down.

 

[fresh_42]

I just read an article about antigravity.

I couldn’t put it down.

Wait for the sequel! It's about magnetism and I'm sure you will find it attractive.

 

[jtbell]

Wait for the sequel! It's about magnetism and I'm sure you will find it attractive.

Or it might turn out to be repulsive.

 

[DrGreg]

I found an article about vacuum but there was nothing in it.

 

[jtbell]

I heard about a guy who had a brain-eating amoeba.

It starved to death.

 

[WWGD]

The dumb guy had a set of islands named after him: " No brains atoll".

 

[Orodruin]

Or it might turn out to be repulsive.

I read a preprint about GWS theory, but it was too weak to be published.

 

[Orodruin]

 

[dwarde]

View attachment 357870

Sir you will have to call and talk to a confusing phone menu to schedule an appointment.

 

[davenn]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[BillTre]

 

[nsaspook]

eggceptional

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 357938
eggceptional

Eggsactly!

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[DrGreg]

eggceptional

Eggsactly!

Un oeuf is un oeuf!

 

[davenn]

Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."

Joe: "Really?"

Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her, I didn't believe in Hell."

 

[nsaspook]

Eggsactly!

Shouldn't that be in the yolks forum?

 

[fresh_42]

"I have the body of a Greek God!"
"Buddha isn't a Greek God."

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 357940

Aunt Bob???

 

[jack action]

 

[WWGD]

Yes, he's called Santa Claus, but St Nicholas is his Nick name.

 

[fresh_42]

"What do you think about sex in the workplace?"
"Not so much. I'm married and the selection isn't that great."
"May I ask where you work?"
"I'm in home office."

 

[DaveC426913]

"I have the body of a Greek God!"
"Buddha isn't a Greek God."

I'm in good shape.
Round is a shape.

 

[WWGD]

Someone else:
Hi, my name is Christian. You?
Me:
No,my name has no religion.

 

[WWGD]

After coming out of hiding from his Fatwa, Salman Rushdie wrote a new book:
"Buddha, you Fat Bastard".

 

[renormalize]

 

[BillTre]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[jack action]

 

[jtbell]

The original store on Route 66 in St. Robert, Missouri has been around for a while. "Open 2024" refers to their newest store in Richmond, Indiana.

https://www.uranusgeneralstore.com/

I learned about it last night from a PBS travel show about Route 66.

 

[jack action]

I was applying for Australian citizenship, and the interviewer asked, "Do you have a criminal record?"
I said, "No. Is that still required?"

 

[jtbell]

What's the number-1 music of the solar system?

Nep-tunes.

 

[Orodruin]

What's the number-1 music of the solar system?

Nep-tunes.

Vocals by Mercury.

 

[jtbell]

Vocals by Mercury.

Accompanied by Mars!