Collection of Lame Jokes

  • #10,576
2,180
1,374
The top part shows the time remaining for the wearer.
Couldn't it show how much time remains until, e.g., dinner is fully baked but not burned?
 
  • #10,577
Ivan Seeking
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
7,842
994
Couldn't it show how much time remains until, e.g., dinner is fully baked but not burned?
You don't want a psychic death watch that tells you how long you have to live? You would rather have a potato report?
 
  • #10,578
2,180
1,374
You don't want a psychic death watch that tells you how long you have to live? You would rather have a potato report?
Hey, weren't we discussing @fresh_42's wristwatch? He knows when he started it :wink:
 
  • Like
Likes Keith_McClary
  • #10,579
Keith_McClary
Gold Member
681
1,261
vice.png
 
  • #10,580
WWGD
Science Advisor
Gold Member
5,682
5,794
main-qimg-b3eaa11e7bcefeca6d200f160e556924-mzj.jpeg
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Likes Wrichik Basu, berkeman and fresh_42
  • #10,581
WWGD
Science Advisor
Gold Member
5,682
5,794
main-qimg-b743dd220e6a152033fd9bd2737b9bff-mzj.jpeg
 
  • Like
Likes Wrichik Basu
  • #10,582
Ivan Seeking
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
7,842
994
The checker at the local store knows I don't drink and asked why I often buy alcohol. "It's for my dates", I replied. "You don't think I'll get anywhere without alcohol do you?"

PS The checker lost it and I heard people behind me in line laughing.
 
Last edited:
  • #10,583
WWGD
Science Advisor
Gold Member
5,682
5,794
The checker at the local store knows I don't drink and asked why I often buy alcohol. "It's for my dates", I replied. "You don't think I'll get anywhere without alcohol do you?"

PS The checker lost it and I heard people behind me in line laughing.
Confused reply: I prefer Checkers to Chess.
 
  • #10,584
WWGD
Science Advisor
Gold Member
5,682
5,794
main-qimg-f63c617142360452eb7473974dbf368a-mzj.jpeg
 
  • #10,586
WWGD
Science Advisor
Gold Member
5,682
5,794
Dob
too tiny to read
Don't worry, you'll eventually grow up ;). Will check again.
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Likes Hamiltonian299792458, DrClaude, jack action and 4 others
  • #10,587
Ivan Seeking
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
7,842
994
1631418943581.png
 
  • Like
Likes jack action and WWGD
  • #10,588
WWGD
Science Advisor
Gold Member
5,682
5,794
main-qimg-aae8f80af2325b557a476f38d3f742af-mzj.jpeg
 
  • Like
Likes Hamiltonian299792458, jack action and Jarvis323
  • #10,589
WWGD
Science Advisor
Gold Member
5,682
5,794
main-qimg-348084fad9ef0e860833f1b1eb19fc7f-mzj.jpeg
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes jack action, Borg and BillTre
  • #10,590
WWGD
Science Advisor
Gold Member
5,682
5,794
main-qimg-3f0d0005e85c59084b6524d036e024e2-mzj.jpeg
 
  • #10,591
WWGD
Science Advisor
Gold Member
5,682
5,794
main-qimg-2abd440097223d2d72c468d36afc0315-mzj.jpeg
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes Wrichik Basu, jack action, sysprog and 2 others
  • #10,592
WWGD
Science Advisor
Gold Member
5,682
5,794
main-qimg-86058012f7d1def375467cf8525b7a4b.png
 
  • Like
Likes jack action, sysprog and Bystander
  • #10,593
WWGD
Science Advisor
Gold Member
5,682
5,794
main-qimg-3b24261d44f1ae08e4d1f11ed31b7ff4-mzj.jpeg
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes jack action, sysprog and berkeman
  • #10,594
Bystander
Science Advisor
Homework Helper
Gold Member
5,285
1,341
Hard rock farm joke:

Yes, one has to "bend" the English, but this is part of the fun of the joke.
..., still can't get from "bales" to "haze" through any sort of "bent English"...I fired a "shot in the dark." Some sort of colloquialism?
 
  • #10,595
WWGD
Science Advisor
Gold Member
5,682
5,794
main-qimg-69a7cdf48cf22cb4af38cdd87a03d9de-mzj.jpeg
 
  • Haha
Likes Hamiltonian299792458
  • #10,596
WWGD
Science Advisor
Gold Member
5,682
5,794
main-qimg-7fc969fdca8b673622a7eb3470a33a8b-mzj.jpeg
 
  • #10,597
jtbell
Mentor
15,829
4,219
For what it's worth, neither "Crystal Methodist Church" or "Effing, SC" turns up any results in Google Maps. (drat!)

This inspired me to search for a certain village in Austria. I discovered that it was renamed Fugging this year.
 
Last edited:
  • #10,599
WWGD
Science Advisor
Gold Member
5,682
5,794
For what it's worth, neither "Crystal Methodist Church" or "Effing, SC" turns up any results in Google Maps. (drat!)

This inspired me to search for a certain village in Austria. I discovered that it was renamed Fugging this year.
Now that you mention it, it wouldn't surprise me if the same was the case with some of the other pics, without my knowledge.
 
  • #10,600
George Jones
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
7,494
1,232
Passwords.jpg
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Love
Likes Hamiltonian299792458, mfb, Ibix and 4 others

Related Threads on Collection of Lame Jokes

  • Last Post
102
Replies
3K
Views
214K
Replies
4
Views
164
  • Last Post
Replies
2
Views
2K
  • Last Post
5
Replies
103
Views
6K
  • Last Post
Replies
7
Views
5K
  • Last Post
Replies
1
Views
948
  • Last Post
Replies
3
Views
1K
  • Last Post
Replies
11
Views
34K
  • Last Post
2
Replies
29
Views
10K
  • Last Post
Replies
11
Views
6K
Top