Collection of Lame Jokes

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[phinds]

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[BillTre]

 

[symbolipoint]

A spelling mistake is in the second part of that paleontologist joke. I know, not very important but just be aware. " ,...rip threw the raw flash,..." should be "... rip through the raw flesh,...".

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 363066

All evidence that Adam and Eve rode their dinosaurs to church on Sundays.

 

[dextercioby]

 

[BillTre]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[DennisN]

View attachment 363042

"I was hoping for a pyramid"

I could see myself wanting that to be put on my grave.

 

[fresh_42]

"I was hoping for a pyramid"

I could see myself wanting that to be put on my grave.

Also nice at a funeral:

I want a friend of mine to text "Thank you for coming!" in my name and on my cellphone to everyone who came.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Ibix]

I want a friend of mine to text "Thank you for coming!" in my name and on my cellphone to everyone who came.

A friend was going to a funeral and was very careful to put his phone in silent since his message sound was "<knock knock> ... Is there anybody there?" Consensus among the group was that he was invited to any of our funerals he made it to, as long as he promised to receive a text.

 

[WWGD]

A friend was going to a funeral and was very careful to put his phone in silent since his message sound was "<knock knock> ... Is there anybody there?" Consensus among the group was that he was invited to any of our funerals he made it to, as long as he promised to receive a text.

I'll have to remember to turn off my " La Cucaracha" ringtone, phone then.

 

[fresh_42]

Two thousand years ago, humans stopped worshipping cats as gods. Unfortunately, they failed to inform the cats of this.

 

[fresh_42]

I'll have to remember to turn off my " La Cucaracha" ringtone, phone then.

There are good alternatives: Highway to Hell, Hell's Bells, The Ace of Spades, ...

 

[DennisN]

 

[dwarde]

 

[jtbell]

 

[BillTre]

Crossover event;

 

[dextercioby]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 363144

That's for the chihuahua, right?

 

[fresh_42]

"Open your bra. Now!"
"Yes, darling."
"Skirt down!"
"Yes, darling."
"Slip, too."
"Yes, darling."
"And never wear my clothes again, Jack!"

 

[jack action]

That's for the chihuahua, right?

No, it's a meme that a man uses when he wants to sleep on the couch, like these ones:

 

[jack action]

"Open your bra. Now!"
"Yes, darling."
"Skirt down!"
"Yes, darling."
"Slip, too."
"Yes, darling."
"And never wear my clothes again, Jack!"

Let me fix that for you:

"Take off my bra. Now!"
"Yes, darling."
"Take off my skirt!"
"Yes, darling."
"Take off my slip, too."
"Yes, darling."
"And never wear my clothes again, Jack!"

[Although I protest against using the name Jack.]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

A video on the wild boars crisis mentioned "They could multiply incredibly fast". If I see one roaming around I will ask them: " Quick, 993 times 1033".

 

[fresh_42]

A video on the wild boars crisis mentioned "They could multiply incredibly fast". If I see one roaming around I will ask them: " Quick, 993 times 1033".

165289

 

[dextercioby]

View attachment 363176

Anyone know the name of this guy? Famous or nobody?

 

[phinds]

Anyone know the name of this guy? Famous or nobody?

Dave Chapelle. Standup comedian.

 

[Beyond3D]

The first dirty joke that my parents told me: A white horse fell in the mud.

Why do cows wear bells? Their horns don't work.

wdym "a white horse"?

 

[WWGD]

wdym "a white horse"?

A non ( non white) horse.

 

[BillTre]

 

[Beyond3D]

A non ( non white) horse.

Is it racial? Is it an innuendo?

 

[Beyond3D]

This one is extra corny

 

[phinds]

Is it racial? Is it an innuendo?

It's a joke for a 5 year old. Here's a dirty joke. A white horse fell in the mud and got dirty. GET IT? The horse got dirty. That makes it a dirty joke (if you're a 5 year old).

 

[Beyond3D]

It's a joke for a 5 year old. Here's a dirty joke. A white horse fell in the mud and got dirty. GET IT? The horse got dirty. That makes it a dirty joke (if you're a 5 year old).

OH! Ok sorry about that.

 

[WWGD]

Is it racial? Is it an innuendo?

Not sure, tbh.

 

[WWGD]

OH! Ok sorry about that.

Don't you hear similar jokes in 4D+?

 

[Beyond3D]

Don't you hear similar jokes in 4D+?

Yeah, but they kinda feel 1 Dimensional to me, really lacks depth.

 

[DaveC426913]

It's a joke for a 5 year old. Here's a dirty joke. A white horse fell in the mud and got dirty. GET IT? The horse got dirty. That makes it a dirty joke (if you're a 5 year old).

Yup. First dirty joke I heard too.