Collection of Lame Jokes

[WWGD]

See uncropped pic. Its actually HTML.

View attachment 362703

 

[jtbell]

When my Italian grandpa would ask: " Are we eating pasta today." Me: " No, Nonno.".

If the avant-garde classical composer Luigi Nono had written a very short piece for nine instruments, inspired by a popular Broadway musical, we would have the Nono "No, No, Nanette" nanononet.

 

[dextercioby]

View attachment 362707

 

[DennisN]

Dumbrella anyone?

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

Dumbrella anyone?

View attachment 362714

You'll need it daily . Though I admit I did my dumb bit when I took with me a pack of rolled up trash bags , confusing it with the umbrella.

 

[fresh_42]

You'll need it daily . Though I admit I did my dumb bit when I took with me a pack of rolled up trash bags , confusing it with the umbrella.

Just read today in a meme:

"Do you think people are basically good, or basically bad?"
"Dumb. I believe they are basically dumb."

 

[davenn]

 

[Steve4Physics]

Venn Diagram for YO HO HO HO

 

[davenn]

 

[DennisN]

"Nor can it judge you. That's for your Facebook friends to do. "

 

[WWGD]

Venn Diagram for YO HO HO HO
View attachment 362752

I dated this woman who turned her head and asked : what? each time Santa said " Ho, Ho, Ho". I decided then to stop seeing her.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[BillTre]

 

[256bits]

I dated this woman who turned her head and asked : what? each time Santa said " Ho, Ho, Ho". I decided then to stop seeing her.

she should sue for defamation of characacter...maybe.

 

[256bits]

View attachment 362759

Every tyrant fears a tinker. A tinker will travel the countryside solving the unsolvable, making the world a fair and better place.

Damn autocorrect.

 

[berkeman]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 362759

Anyone who doesn't know the truth is just a fool. But anyone who knows it and calls it a lie is a criminal. (Bertold Brecht)

 

[Muu9]

Wanna hear a one liner?

Sorry.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Muu9]

 

[Muu9]

 

[Muu9]

 

[DaveC426913]

View attachment 362806

Am absolutely stealing this for my other science fora. Will get a lot of use.

 

[Muu9]

Am absolutely stealing this for my other science fora. Will get a lot of use.

I knew you guys would love it

 

[davenn]

A little 10-year-old girl was walking home alone from school one day when a big man on a black motorcycle pulled up beside her.
After following her for a while, he turned to her and asked,
“Hey there little girl, do you want to go for a ride?”
“NO!” says the little girl as she keeps walking.
The motorcyclist pulls up beside her again and says,
“Hey little girl, I’ll give you $10 if you hop on the back.”
“NO!” she replies and hurries down the street.
One last time, the man tries again:
“Okay kid, final offer - I’ll give you $20 and a big bag of candy if you’ll just hop on the back and we’ll go for a ride.”
The little girl finally stops, turns, and screams,
“LOOK, DAD! You’re the one who bought the Honda instead of the Harley… YOU RIDE IT!!”

 

[nsaspook]

 

[berkeman]

 

[fresh_42]

I need your help.
As you can see, I seem to have assembled my cat Hubert incorrectly.
Does anyone still have the original assembly instructions?
Here are the key details:
Year of construction: 2023
Model: ordinary male cat
Color: gray tabby
Characteristics: mildly to severely crazy
Question: Can I reassemble it so that it at least looks like a male cat?
How do I reset it to factory settings?
How long is the warranty period?
Please check if you still have assembly instructions for your cats and send them to me.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[BillTre]

 

[symbolipoint]

Where would the jack and the gil fit into the diagram in #22138?

More seriously, one just needs to know a small number of conversion ratios for those units illustrated in the post.

 

[BillTre]

 

[davenn]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[dwarde]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

The cigarette industry is leading people as(h)tray.

 

[WWGD]