Collection of Lame Jokes

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[renormalize]

View attachment 363744

But wait: why is he smoking a pipe while holding a lit cigarette(?) at the same time?

 

[WWGD]

But wait: why is he smoking a pipe while holding a lit cigarette(?) at the same time?

I'm not sure it's a cigarrete, though I've no idea of what else it could be. But it does look like one.

 

[Filip Larsen]

I'm not sure it's a cigarrete, though I've no idea of what else it could be

Looks like a tamper to me.

 

[WWGD]

Looks like a tamper to me.

Tamper? What is that? You mean a tampon?

 

[Filip Larsen]

Tamper? What is that?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pipe_tool

 

[WWGD]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pipe_tool

Makes " a bit" more sense than him holding a tampon :).

 

[phinds]

But wait: why is he smoking a pipe while holding a lit cigarette(?) at the same time?

He's not holding a cigarette, he's holding a pipe tool.

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 363765

I always mix up Neil Diamond with Neil Young.

 

[fresh_42]

I always mix up Neil Diamond with Neil Young.

That is a mystery to me. How could you? I mix up Adam Sandler and Ben Stiller, don't ask me why. And Bruce Boxleitner and Bill Pullman. I know their faces, but I can't remember their names.

 

[WWGD]

That is a mystery to me. How could you? I mix up Adam Sandler and Ben Stiller, don't ask me why. And Bruce Boxleitner and Bill Pullman. I know their faces, but I can't remember their names.

Re " Sweet Home Alabama", Neil Young will remember, but I can't. Reminds me of a Mash episode were two soldiers with last names A,B,were introduced to a 3rd party. The latter asked: Which is A, which is B? Hawkeye replied: " They're interchangeable". Most of these celebrities are so to me.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

I always mix up Neil Diamond with Neil Young.

But not all Neils. De Grass is greener with Neil Tyson.

 

[berkeman]

Too funny...

 

[DaveC426913]

That is a mystery to me. How could you? I mix up Adam Sandler and Ben Stiller, don't ask me why. And Bruce Boxleitner and Bill Pullman. I know their faces, but I can't remember their names.

Pacino and ... (dammit, what's his name?) De Niro.

I have a mental block with de Niro's name. I can never, ever, ever remember it. By brain is in a radiation-hardened loop: 1. Think of the guy from Cape Fear. 2. Don't remember his name. 3. Offer Pacino's name instead. 4. Rinse. Repeat.

 

[WWGD]

Pacino and ... (dammit, what's his name?) De Niro.

I have a mental block with de Niro's name. I can never, ever, ever remember it. By brain is in a radiation-hardened loop: 1. Think of the guy from Cape Fear. 2. Don't remember his name. 3. Offer Pacino's name instead. 4. Rinse. Repeat.

I haven't. I remember Robert " No Tengo" De Niro.

 

[jack action]

Pacino and ... (dammit, what's his name?) De Niro.

Easy. One is the tough guy in "Heat", and the other guy he's talking to is the other one.

​

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[WWGD]

Seems like right before running into David, Goliath was singing "I wanna rock!"

 

[jtbell]

Party on! The cows aren't coming home any time soon.

 

[davenn]

 

[tuxscholar]

Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
Because they don’t have the guts.

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[Baluncore]

If money is the root of all evil ...

It is not, that is a misquote.
The love of money is the root of all evil.

They ask for money in church, because they are trying to uproot evil.

 

[berkeman]

 

[WWGD]

It is not, that is a misquote.
The love of money is the root of all evil.

They ask for money in church, because they are trying to uproot evil.

I'm far from being religious but seeing that there's a Tsunami watch in California , given the fires, etc., seems close to a course. I feel for them.

 

[jack action]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

How many people?

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

How many people?
View attachment 363849

I had a verbal version of these optical illusions: " Greeks were fighting machines. I'm not fighting machines."

 

[DaveC426913]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[DennisN]

 

[gmax137]

 

[dwarde]

View attachment 363856

Most aftermarket LED headlight bulbs come with the tiny fans built in.

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

Since we got a dog and a cat, I've been petting everything at knee height.

Yes, that's exactly what the tiler just looked like.

 

[jtbell]

But see what happens when he tries to park...

 

[DaveC426913]

This just gets worse the longer you look at it.

 

[WWGD]

No need to worry about chip manufacture in the US. There's now a plant in Arizona. There used to be one in Led Zeppelin.

 

[WWGD]

Tourist approaches Canadian Customs carrying a package.
Agent: " What's this aboot *?"
Tourist: " It's not a boot, it's a shoe".
"A shoe? "
" Gesundheit!"

* Cliche'd Canadian pronounciation.

 

[fresh_42]

This just gets worse the longer you look at it.

I still keep trying to think about how this car will manage to close anything, let alone a house. And how could they know? Anyway, I would be worried, too, if a car tried to close my house.