Collection of Lame Jokes
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Godot_
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Vets have to dispose of their ... droppings, too.
Also would explain the price.
On topic:
An epic end-of-the-world story:
"Begone!" said the solipsist.
Also would explain the price.
On topic:
An epic end-of-the-world story:
"Begone!" said the solipsist.
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Oktoberfest in Munich! It's a long way home.
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Can confirm, I did 3.5 years in Munich as a postdoc. It is the only time I have been told my face looked green. (Combining a couple of Maßkrug with one of those human centrifuge theme park rides wrecks havoc on your sense of balance …)
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Bread is like the sun: it rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.
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jack action said:
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Somehow I thought of this one …
Arjan82
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When a man says he'd do
anything for a woman
he means he'd stop bullets
and kill dragons,
not clean the basement
and wash dishes.
anything for a woman
he means he'd stop bullets
and kill dragons,
not clean the basement
and wash dishes.
DaveC426913
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My own creation. (Did I post this already?)
There once was a man from Felicity
Who trusted his wife implicitly
But when he told her so
She rebuked him "No longer so!
For now you have spake it explicitly!"
There once was a man from Felicity
Who trusted his wife implicitly
But when he told her so
She rebuked him "No longer so!
For now you have spake it explicitly!"
Last edited:
artis
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artis
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This is actually not a joke, but it just happened that the "escape" button on my keyboard "escaped" the keyboard due to a stronger than usual push upon it.
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Tiddlywinks now reaching escape velocity, (from the keyboard).artis said:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiddlywinks
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Took me a couple of beats to get this one:
"I had the strangest dream last night," a man was telling his psychiatrist.
"I saw my mother, but when she turned around to look at me, I noticed that she had your face. You can imagine, I found this very disturbing, and in fact, I woke up immediately, and couldn't get back to sleep. I just lay there in bed waiting for morning to come, and then I got up, drank a Coke, and came right over here for my appointment. I thought you could help me explain the meaning of this strange dream."
The psychiatrist was silent for a full minute before responding: "A Coke? You call that a breakfast?"
"I had the strangest dream last night," a man was telling his psychiatrist.
"I saw my mother, but when she turned around to look at me, I noticed that she had your face. You can imagine, I found this very disturbing, and in fact, I woke up immediately, and couldn't get back to sleep. I just lay there in bed waiting for morning to come, and then I got up, drank a Coke, and came right over here for my appointment. I thought you could help me explain the meaning of this strange dream."
The psychiatrist was silent for a full minute before responding: "A Coke? You call that a breakfast?"
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Properly lame, big thumbs down for it.
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My daughter is taking part in an experiment. She has to wear the Seahawks jersey for two weeks to find out how people react to it. She was spat on, beaten and mobbed. I wonder what will happen when she leaves the house.
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The lamest part of the joke has to be the grammar.
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A contest where the winner is a loser?dextercioby said:
ILLOGICAL! CANNOT COMPUTE!
(Computer* explodes in a puff of logic.)
*In case you're not familiar with this new-fangled concept of computer, it's a large box covered with flashing lights, spinning tape spools, paper tape readers and teletypes, and talks like a dalek.
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If there are only two contestants in such a contest, who is the winner?DrGreg said:
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Dinner for Schmucks: "Which I nailed"DrGreg said:
Swamp Thing
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DrGreg said:
kuruman said:
Reminds one of Russel's barber paradox.
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phinds said: