Collection of Lame Jokes

[DennisN]

Everything was better before. Stone age, for example, no bills, no IRS, and BBQ the whole time.

Yes. And before the wheel was invented there were fewer road accidents too!

 

[DennisN]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 314463

Heh heh. Had to think about that one for a moment...

 

[Ibix]

In case you're not familiar with this new-fangled concept of computer, it's a large box covered with flashing lights, spinning tape spools, paper tape readers and teletypes, and talks like a dalek.

ACHTUNG!
ALLES TURISTEN UND NONTEKNISCHEN LOOKENSPEEPERS!
DAS KOMPUTERMASCHINE IST NICHT FÜR DER GEFINGERPOKEN UND MITTENGRABEN! ODERWISE IST EASY TO SCHNAPPEN DER SPRINGENWERK, BLOWENFUSEN UND POPPENCORKEN MIT SPITZENSPARKEN.
IST NICHT FÜR GEWERKEN BEI DUMMKOPFEN. DER RUBBERNECKEN SIGHTSEEREN KEEPEN DAS COTTONPICKEN HÄNDER IN DAS POCKETS MUSS.
ZO RELAXEN UND WATSCHEN DER BLINKENLICHTEN.

 

[DennisN]

This one's a bit old, but still fun :

 

[kuruman]

ACHTUNG!
ALLES TURISTEN UND NONTEKNISCHEN LOOKENSPEEPERS!
DAS KOMPUTERMASCHINE IST NICHT FÜR DER GEFINGERPOKEN UND MITTENGRABEN! ODERWISE IST EASY TO SCHNAPPEN DER SPRINGENWERK, BLOWENFUSEN UND POPPENCORKEN MIT SPITZENSPARKEN.
IST NICHT FÜR GEWERKEN BEI DUMMKOPFEN. DER RUBBERNECKEN SIGHTSEEREN KEEPEN DAS COTTONPICKEN HÄNDER IN DAS POCKETS MUSS.
ZO RELAXEN UND WATSCHEN DER BLINKENLICHTEN.

I remember one of these signs on ye olde PDP-8 in the lab.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[BWV]

 

[Ibix]

Is there some obscure mate-in-$N$ for white there? Or is it just the combination of the stupidity needed to try to promote seven pawns and the genius needed to pull it off?

 

[fresh_42]

Is there some obscure mate-in-$N$ for white there? Or is it just the combination of the stupidity needed to try to promote seven pawns and the genius needed to pull it off?

Ne4 ++

 

[fresh_42]

Is there some obscure mate-in-$N$ for white there? Or is it just the combination of the stupidity needed to try to promote seven pawns and the genius needed to pull it off?

Black has more work:

1. ... , Qd1+
2. Nb1, Qb1:+
3. Kb1:, Qc1++

 

[fresh_42]

Spoiler: Caution! This one hurts!

 

[DennisN]

 

[artis]

Spoiler: Caution! This one hurts!

View attachment 314526

A wooden internal combustion engine also known as the "external combustion engine" after the first minute of running.

As long as you plant a tree afterwards the engine has combusted itself your carbon neutral in theory, way to go!

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 314347

Sofa So Good.

 

[artis]

View attachment 314506​

Who's the tow truck driver, Vin Diesel aka Dominic Toretto?

Drive it like you stole it , I guess.

 

[WWGD]

Domino effect

 

[WWGD]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[DennisN]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

 

[BillTre]

 

[sophiecentaur]

View attachment 314651

It has to be a 'Ladies Loo'.