Collection of Lame Jokes

[WWGD]

View attachment 364564

Put it on your insight on Complex numbers.

 

[nsaspook]

If you want to be remembered after you die, borrow money from everyone you know.

 

[sbrothy]

View attachment 364743

There’s some saying about expectation isn’t there?

I'm starting to learn bass today in case I can put together a band.

There’s this girl who constantly asks me if I want to form a band. Unfortunately she has no notion of how much discipline it takes.

 

[WWGD]

There’s some saying about expectation isn’t there?


There’s this girl who constantly asks me if I want to form a band. Unfortunately she has no notion of how much discipline it takes.

I call it the Glamour Trap. People fall in love with the glamorous, cool aspect but don't acknowledge or aren't aware of all the brutally hard work it takes. "Cool, let's open a restaurant": They think it will be cool to tell their friends they own their restaurant and they think of celebrities that may drop by and sign pictures of themselves. All while ignoring the less glamorous aspects: Working 60+ -Hr weeks, dealing with employee theft, city regulations, hiring personnel that may end up stealing food, silverware from you, the brutal competition, bad reviews, etc. 10 hours of difficulties for every 5 minutes of glamour. Edit: Like some women wanting to have children because "They're so cute", etc.

 

[BillTre]

Science can be like that for some people.

 

[jack action]

View attachment 364774

Well ...

​

 

[DaveC426913]

I call it the Glamour Trap. People fall in love with the glamorous, cool aspect

And some form a band simply because they think they will get girls.

 

[fresh_42]

And some form a band simply because they think they will get girls.

... and some are on a divine mission.

 

[DaveC426913]

... and some are on a divine mission.

Yesterday, I came home from the secondhand store with an old janky 7 1/2" bandsaw for 50 bucks. It was missing a switch and a knob here and there.

When my grandaughter saw me and asked me what I was doing, I said:


"We're puttin' the band(saw) back together."


^{(OK, I didn't say it out loud but I did think it. Scout's Honour)}

 

[WWGD]

And some form a band simply because they think they will get girls.

And for many it actually works out.

 

[BillTre]

Still waiting for the science groupies.

 

[fresh_42]

Still waiting for the science groupies.

Does Brian May count?

 

[BillTre]

He's a crossover talent.

 

[WWGD]

Does Brian May count?

Up to $\aleph_1$ last I asked him.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[berkeman]

 

[256bits]

Like some women wanting to have children because "They're so cute", etc.

Not, "Like some women who want to get married because "He's so cute!"

I put that in there because nowaday young ladies are more pragmatic - looking for "over 6 foot, and making 6 figures in his 30's"

 

[WWGD]

Not, "Like some women who want to get married because "He's so cute!"

I put that in there because nowaday young ladies are more pragmatic - looking for "over 6 foot, and making 6 figures in his 30's"

Lke the ads: 4'7", weighing 389 lbs woman with one good tooth, HS dropout, seeks 6'4", 35 yo, Ivy-League PHD CEO worth at least $50 million.

 

[berkeman]

Just a friendly reminder not to veer into stereotyping certain segments of society in attempts to be humorous. Thanks.

 

[jack action]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

What would you do if a bear attacked your wife?

Nothing. He attacked her, so he should figure out how to defend himself.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Just a friendly reminder not to veer into stereotyping certain segments of society in attempts to be humorous. Thanks.

But we can still stereotype engineers, right?!?!

 

[fresh_42]

Even for engineers?!?!

And we have an entire thread mocking mathematicians!

 

[Ivan Seeking]

And we have an entire thread mocking mathematicians!

Oh boy! Where can I find that?

 

[Baluncore]

Just a friendly reminder not to veer into stereotyping certain segments of society in attempts to be humorous. Thanks.

A stereotype, from a certain segment of society, walked into a bar one night, and said "ouch, that really hurt".

 

[Ivan Seeking]

And we have an entire thread mocking mathematicians!

What do old-school mathematicians do when they are constipated?

Spoiler: Answer

They work it out with a pencil.

Compliments of Chroot.

 

[fresh_42]

Oh boy! Where can I find that?

M

Post in thread 'Bad Math Jokes'

Jan 9, 2025

• martinbn

• 
• 

 

[Borg]

What do old-school mathematicians do when they are constipated?

Spoiler: Answer

They work it out with a pencil.

Compliments of Chroot.

So that would be a number 2 pencil?

 

[Baluncore]

So that would be a number 2 pencil?

No, obviously a 2H.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

So that would be a number 2 pencil?

And that explains why no one uses number 1 pencils.

 

[jtbell]

"Want some cake, Teddy Bear?"

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

 

[sbrothy]

What do old-school mathematicians do when they are constipated?

Spoiler: Answer

They work it out with a pencil.

Compliments of Chroot.

Eeew. Nasty.

 

[BillTre]

 

[berkeman]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

View attachment 364877

...and ____________ to know the difference.
Fill in the blank

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[phinds]

Whoever added the "s" in fastfood is a marketing genius.

 

[TensorCalculus]

Why do so many programmers need glasses?
Because they need to C#

...

 

[256bits]

View attachment 364872

Is that Napoleon?
He is just a bone apart from his dog.

 

[256bits]

View attachment 364880

That's one reason I didn't sign up for the one way trip to Mars.
I had nightmares of being stuck with that family.

 

[jtbell]

What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a sheep?

A musician named Ba-a-a-a-ad Bunny.

 

[fresh_42]