Collection of Lame Jokes

[fresh_42]

 

[DaveC426913]

Ok, we went from AB to CD. But why wasn't DVD EF and BD GH?

Isn't that a Benny Hill bit? Or a Two Ronnies sketch?

"F U N E M N X?"
"S, V F M N X."

 

[DrGreg]

Isn't that a Benny Hill bit? Or a Two Ronnies sketch?

"F U N E M N X?"
"S, V F M N X."

Two Ronnies "Swedish made simple"

They predicted txtspk decades before it happened.

 

[jtbell]

I hear one of the railroads is going to start a special high-speed freight service for shipping poultry across the country.

It'll be called the "Pullet Train".

 

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Borg]

It wouldn't be complete without a barmaid though.

 

[jack action]

OK, I just found my new thing to spice up conversations:

 

[mfb]

Turn the tape over twice to access the secret C side...

That only works for USB.

And electrons.

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 315122

We're actually in the middle of a bathroom tub/shower renovation right now. We're getting both grab bars and the little shelves shown here. Now I have ideas for how to use the shelves.

 

[DrGreg]

Turn the tape over twice to access the secret C side...

That reminds me of the Monty Python vinyl LP Matching Tie and Handkerchief. If you played the B side, flipped it to play the A side, then flipped it again, you really did (50% of the time) get a secret C side.

Spoiler: Explanation

The B side, instead of having a single spiral groove, had two concentric grooves interleaved with each other. It was a matter of luck which of those two grooves the stylus landed on.

 

[Swamp Thing]

That reminds me of the Monty Python vinyl LP Matching Tie and Handkerchief. If you played the B side, flipped it to play the A side, then flipped it again, you really did (50% of the time) get a secret C side.

Spoiler: Explanation

The B side, instead of having a single spiral groove, had two concentric grooves interleaved with each other. It was a matter of luck which of those two grooves the stylus landed on.

View attachment 315170

There are more examples of weird vinyl disks here:

 

[Ibix]

That reminds me of the Monty Python vinyl LP Matching Tie and Handkerchief.

I'd forgotten about that one. I love that kind of little trick.

 

[DennisN]

View attachment 315079​

It got me thinking about the hilarious Hifi store sketch where Rowan Atkinson plays an extremely annoying salesman :) :

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DennisN]

 

[fresh_42]

Spoiler: Ouch. Stein = stone

 

[WWGD]

How did you type that? Do you have inverted keyboards?

A paint program can probably flip or reflect letters.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

A paint program can probably flip or reflect letters.

Of course, I checked with my superpowers before I asked!

 

[Borg]

My own creation. Disaster girl at the Kerch bridge.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 315295View attachment 315295

There was a guy on another forum I used to frequent whose sig was "Use your indicators! You people act like it's sharing information with the enemy!"

 

[256bits]

Is that the honest truth?

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 315300
Is that the honest truth?

Well, you can set them all to flash at once. That means "I know I'm parked illegally and/or dangerously and/or I'm making things difficult for other road users, but I don't care".

 

[Borg]

When I lived in Kentucky, many drivers had the weird habit of using turn signals after completing a lane change. Shortly after moving to the DC area, a driver pulled the same stunt in front of me one day. Yup, Kentucky plates.