Collection of Lame Jokes

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

I'm gonna onomatopeia on my pants.

 

[DrGreg]

I'm gonna onomatopeia on my pants.

No! On a mat, please.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[phinds]

Woodworkers joke:

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

View attachment 329467

I saw that some company, I think in Japan, has designed a toilet for the workplace that is tilted forward so you naturally want to slide off going forward. If you sit for more than about five minutes you start feeling leg strain. The idea is to make it too uncomfortable to sit longer than needed.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I saw there is a special on CNN about the history of black TV.

I emailed to let them know it was called black and white TV.

 

[berkeman]

From FB today, LOL.

 

[jack action]

Was hesitating between posting this here or in "Today I learned":

 

[jack action]

Say no to drugs.

Well, if you are talking to drugs, it's probably already too late.

 

[phinds]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Was hesitating between posting this here or in "Today I learned":

View attachment 329481​

Many years ago I made a setup like that to test my idea for a sprinkler head that could cut your grass. I was using air to pressurize a pipe filled with water, to supply the head for testing.

The people at the hardware store thought I was making bombs.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[davenn]

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[jack action]

Comparing Tesla 0-60 times to real performance cars is like comparing a microwave to a BBQ grill.

It may cook faster but nobody ever wished for a microwaved burger.

 

[jack action]

 

[berkeman]

From FB today:

 

[jtbell]

A guy gets home from a Saturday night gig with his band.

Wife: "Where's your instrument?"

Guy: "Oh nooo! I left my harp in Sam Frank's disco!"

 

[davenn]

 

[nuuskur]

 

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jack action]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

My GF is being harassed by a woman dating a former male friend . He wanted more than friendship but my GF wasn't interested. So apparently he is spreading nasty rumors about my GF, hence the harassment. My GF was asking if I had any idea how to put a stop to it.

I told her to message her former friend and all concerned explaining that she is a man transitioning to a woman. She loved the idea. After she quit laughing she said she is going to do it.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

View attachment 329558​

Based on the clothing and background, that scene appears to be around 1900. Any moon landing then WAS faked.

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

View attachment 329494

I'll see your duck and raise you a turtle:

 

[fresh_42]

I'll see your duck and raise you a turtle:

View attachment 329562​

Let's make it a 3 bet. I raise a chicken: