Collection of Lame Jokes

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Discussion Overview

The thread centers around sharing and enjoying lame jokes, with participants contributing various humorous quips and puns. The discussion explores the nature of humor, particularly focusing on jokes that are intentionally corny or groan-inducing.

Discussion Character

  • Exploratory
  • Debate/contested
  • Conceptual clarification

Main Points Raised

  • Some participants share their favorite lame jokes, such as the classic "Why did the chicken cross the road?" and variations on animal-related humor.
  • Others express differing opinions on the quality of certain jokes, with some finding them hilarious while others consider them unfunny or "lame." For example, one participant finds a specific horse joke funny, while another insists it doesn't qualify as lame.
  • A few jokes incorporate wordplay and puns, such as the "frayed knot" joke and the "super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis" joke, which elicit mixed reactions.
  • There are discussions about surreal humor, with some participants questioning the nature of certain jokes and their classification as humor, such as the "fish" response to a lightbulb question.
  • Participants also engage in playful banter about the quality of jokes and the nature of humor itself, with some joking about the reactions to their contributions.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

There is no clear consensus on what constitutes a "lame" joke, as participants express a range of opinions on the humor shared. Some jokes are appreciated by certain individuals while others find them lacking, indicating a diversity of taste in humor.

Contextual Notes

Some jokes rely on specific cultural references or wordplay that may not be universally understood, leading to varied interpretations among participants.

  • #1,351
stop me if you've herd this one... how is the enterprise like toilet paper? they go to uranus and wipe out klingons.
 
Physics news on Phys.org
  • #1,352
FtlIsAwesome said:
What does "quit" mean?



------

What do aerospace and geometry zombies say?

" Plllaaaannneeeesss "

------

Don't name your horse Charlie.
You'll get a charlie-horse.

------

Astronaut: I've been to Saturn and back!
Skeptic: What are trying to pull now?
Astronaut: Some more gee's.

k...how 'bout Humphrey Bogart as a zombie ?

Daaaammmmeeessss

:bugeye:
 
  • #1,353
A Feynman zombie ?

Path Integraaaaaaals
 
  • #1,354
Isaacsname said:
A Feynman zombie ?

Path Integraaaaaaals

Monty Python zombies?
Wankel Rotary Eeeeeeeeengines

Wait. Maybe there's a limit.
 
  • #1,355
DaveC426913 said:
Monty Python zombies?
Wankel Rotary Eeeeeeeeengines

Wait. Maybe there's a limit.

Only if you define it :rolleyes:
 
  • #1,356
Isaacsname said:
A Feynman zombie ?

Path Integraaaaaaals

Or playing the bongos: bonk........bonk........bonk.......bonk........bonk.........
 
  • #1,357
jtbell said:
Or playing the bongos: bonk........bonk........bonk.......bonk........bonk.........

Hahaha. Seriously.

I know he would have laughed at that. Listening to Susskind's TED talk about Feynman makes me wish I could have met him.
 
  • #1,358
DaveC426913 said:
Wait. Maybe there's a limit.
This is Lame Jokes. There is no limit.
 
  • #1,359
FtlIsAwesome said:
This is Lame Jokes. There is no limit.

Sure there is a limit: good jokes :smile:
 
  • #1,360
micromass said:
Sure there is a limit: good jokes :smile:

As we all know, it's just a matter of bad taste...errr...good taste...no...wait...:eek:
 
  • #1,361
Isaacsname said:
As we all know, it's just a matter of bad taste...errr...good taste...no...wait...:eek:
ehehe.
 
  • #1,362
The key is to make sure \forall jokes \in thread: |good joke - joke| \not< \varepsilon.
 
  • #1,363
You know, a police officer actually complimented me on my driving today. He left a little note on my windshield, it said "Parking Fine".

So that was nice.
 
  • #1,364
IMP said:
You know, a police officer actually complimented me on my driving today. He left a little note on my windshield, it said "Parking Fine".

So that was nice.

:smile: Oh nice...sooooo lame...!
 
  • #1,365
This thread is so lame.
Lame, I'm telling you, lame!
Insanely, crazily, stupendously lame!
Terrificly, gigantically, stellarly lame!
Ok, I should stop now.
Because I'm getting lame.
Really, really, lame.
Yeah, I'm getting lame.
Did I say lame?
Ok, ok, I better stop now.
Or it'll get even more lame--
 
  • #1,366
IMP said:
You know, a police officer actually complimented me on my driving today. He left a little note on my windshield, it said "Parking Fine".

So that was nice.

:smile:
 
  • #1,367
IMP said:
You know, a police officer actually complimented me on my driving today. He left a little note on my windshield, it said "Parking Fine".

Are you sure that was a compliment on your driving? :wink:
 
  • #1,368
jtbell said:
Are you sure that was a compliment? :wink:

It was a compliment. He was so impressed with my parking skills he wanted me to go talk to a judge, I guess to share my awesome driving skills. The judge was also very impressed, he said something about "service to the community" or maybe it was "community service"...
 
  • #1,369
HYPNOTIST AT THE SENIOR CENTER
It was entertainment night at the Senior Center
Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: "I'm here to put you into a trance,
I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience".
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.
"I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch.
It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting,
"Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch. ."
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.
Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly,
it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
"CRAP!" said the Hypnotist.
It took three days to clean up the Senior Center .
 
  • #1,370
OMG! :smile:
 
  • #1,371
Ivan Seeking said:
HYPNOTIST AT THE SENIOR CENTER
It was entertainment night at the Senior Center
Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: "I'm here to put you into a trance,
I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience".
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.
"I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch.
It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting,
"Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch. ."
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.
Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly,
it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
"CRAP!" said the Hypnotist.
It took three days to clean up the Senior Center .

Not lame! Well, Depends...
 
  • #1,372
Ivan Seeking said:
HYPNOTIST AT THE SENIOR CENTER
It was entertainment night at the Senior Center
Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: "I'm here to put you into a trance,
I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience".
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.
"I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch.
It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting,
"Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch. ."
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.
Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly,
it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
"CRAP!" said the Hypnotist.
It took three days to clean up the Senior Center .
:smile:
IMP said:
Not lame! Well, Depends...
:smile:
 
  • #1,373
are you dp/dt or dF/da?

where p is the momentum , F is the force and a is the acceleration
 
  • #1,374
If you're taken to the Seapreme Court, they'll sentence you to the eelectric chair.
 
  • #1,375
ivan seeking said:
hypnotist at the senior center
it was entertainment night at the senior center
claude the hypnotist exclaimed: "i'm here to put you into a trance,
i intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience".
The excitement was almost electric as claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.
"i want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch.
It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."
he began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting,
"watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch. ."
the crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.
Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly,
it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
"crap!" said the hypnotist.
It took three days to clean up the senior center .

omg -_-
 
  • #1,376
drizzle said:
OMG! :smile:

Ever since the internet came along, I've gotten a lot better at telling jokes.
 
  • #1,377
Ivan Seeking said:
Ever since the internet came along, I've gotten a lot better at telling jokes.
Huh. Ever since the internet came along I've gotten a lot better looking.
 
  • #1,378
DaveC426913 said:
Huh. Ever since the internet came along I've gotten a lot better looking.

Yes, but why is there a weasel tied to your face ? :bugeye:

Are you trying to hide something ?
 
  • #1,379
Isaacsname said:
Yes, but why is there a weasel tied to your face ? :bugeye:

Are you trying to hide something ?

:smile:
 
  • #1,380
Bird 1: "Will you stop with your stupid owl jokes!"
Bird 2: "What? They're a hoot!"
 

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