Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #1,351
stop me if you've herd this one... how is the enterprise like toilet paper? they go to uranus and wipe out klingons.
 
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  • #1,352
FtlIsAwesome said:
What does "quit" mean?



------

What do aerospace and geometry zombies say?

" Plllaaaannneeeesss "

------

Don't name your horse Charlie.
You'll get a charlie-horse.

------

Astronaut: I've been to Saturn and back!
Skeptic: What are trying to pull now?
Astronaut: Some more gee's.

k...how 'bout Humphrey Bogart as a zombie ?

Daaaammmmeeessss

:bugeye:
 
  • #1,353
A Feynman zombie ?

Path Integraaaaaaals
 
  • #1,354
Isaacsname said:
A Feynman zombie ?

Path Integraaaaaaals

Monty Python zombies?
Wankel Rotary Eeeeeeeeengines

Wait. Maybe there's a limit.
 
  • #1,355
DaveC426913 said:
Monty Python zombies?
Wankel Rotary Eeeeeeeeengines

Wait. Maybe there's a limit.

Only if you define it :rolleyes:
 
  • #1,356
Isaacsname said:
A Feynman zombie ?

Path Integraaaaaaals

Or playing the bongos: bonk........bonk........bonk.......bonk........bonk.........
 
  • #1,357
jtbell said:
Or playing the bongos: bonk........bonk........bonk.......bonk........bonk.........

Hahaha. Seriously.

I know he would have laughed at that. Listening to Susskind's TED talk about Feynman makes me wish I could have met him.
 
  • #1,358
DaveC426913 said:
Wait. Maybe there's a limit.
This is Lame Jokes. There is no limit.
 
  • #1,359
FtlIsAwesome said:
This is Lame Jokes. There is no limit.

Sure there is a limit: good jokes :smile:
 
  • #1,360
micromass said:
Sure there is a limit: good jokes :smile:

As we all know, it's just a matter of bad taste...errr...good taste...no...wait...:eek:
 
  • #1,361
Isaacsname said:
As we all know, it's just a matter of bad taste...errr...good taste...no...wait...:eek:
ehehe.
 
  • #1,362
The key is to make sure \forall jokes \in thread: |good joke - joke| \not< \varepsilon.
 
  • #1,363
You know, a police officer actually complimented me on my driving today. He left a little note on my windshield, it said "Parking Fine".

So that was nice.
 
  • #1,364
IMP said:
You know, a police officer actually complimented me on my driving today. He left a little note on my windshield, it said "Parking Fine".

So that was nice.

:smile: Oh nice...sooooo lame...!
 
  • #1,365
This thread is so lame.
Lame, I'm telling you, lame!
Insanely, crazily, stupendously lame!
Terrificly, gigantically, stellarly lame!
Ok, I should stop now.
Because I'm getting lame.
Really, really, lame.
Yeah, I'm getting lame.
Did I say lame?
Ok, ok, I better stop now.
Or it'll get even more lame--
 
  • #1,366
IMP said:
You know, a police officer actually complimented me on my driving today. He left a little note on my windshield, it said "Parking Fine".

So that was nice.

:smile:
 
  • #1,367
IMP said:
You know, a police officer actually complimented me on my driving today. He left a little note on my windshield, it said "Parking Fine".

Are you sure that was a compliment on your driving? :wink:
 
  • #1,368
jtbell said:
Are you sure that was a compliment? :wink:

It was a compliment. He was so impressed with my parking skills he wanted me to go talk to a judge, I guess to share my awesome driving skills. The judge was also very impressed, he said something about "service to the community" or maybe it was "community service"...
 
  • #1,369
HYPNOTIST AT THE SENIOR CENTER
It was entertainment night at the Senior Center
Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: "I'm here to put you into a trance,
I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience".
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.
"I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch.
It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting,
"Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch. ."
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.
Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly,
it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
"CRAP!" said the Hypnotist.
It took three days to clean up the Senior Center .
 
  • #1,370
OMG! :smile:
 
  • #1,371
Ivan Seeking said:
HYPNOTIST AT THE SENIOR CENTER
It was entertainment night at the Senior Center
Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: "I'm here to put you into a trance,
I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience".
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.
"I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch.
It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting,
"Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch. ."
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.
Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly,
it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
"CRAP!" said the Hypnotist.
It took three days to clean up the Senior Center .

Not lame! Well, Depends...
 
  • #1,372
Ivan Seeking said:
HYPNOTIST AT THE SENIOR CENTER
It was entertainment night at the Senior Center
Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: "I'm here to put you into a trance,
I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience".
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.
"I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch.
It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting,
"Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch. ."
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.
Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly,
it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
"CRAP!" said the Hypnotist.
It took three days to clean up the Senior Center .
:smile:
IMP said:
Not lame! Well, Depends...
:smile:
 
  • #1,373
are you dp/dt or dF/da?

where p is the momentum , F is the force and a is the acceleration
 
  • #1,374
If you're taken to the Seapreme Court, they'll sentence you to the eelectric chair.
 
  • #1,375
ivan seeking said:
hypnotist at the senior center
it was entertainment night at the senior center
claude the hypnotist exclaimed: "i'm here to put you into a trance,
i intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience".
The excitement was almost electric as claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.
"i want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch.
It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."
he began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting,
"watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch. ."
the crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.
Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly,
it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
"crap!" said the hypnotist.
It took three days to clean up the senior center .

omg -_-
 
  • #1,376
drizzle said:
OMG! :smile:

Ever since the internet came along, I've gotten a lot better at telling jokes.
 
  • #1,377
Ivan Seeking said:
Ever since the internet came along, I've gotten a lot better at telling jokes.
Huh. Ever since the internet came along I've gotten a lot better looking.
 
  • #1,378
DaveC426913 said:
Huh. Ever since the internet came along I've gotten a lot better looking.

Yes, but why is there a weasel tied to your face ? :bugeye:

Are you trying to hide something ?
 
  • #1,379
Isaacsname said:
Yes, but why is there a weasel tied to your face ? :bugeye:

Are you trying to hide something ?

:smile:
 
  • #1,380
Bird 1: "Will you stop with your stupid owl jokes!"
Bird 2: "What? They're a hoot!"
 

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