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Collection of Lame Jokes
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DennisN
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DennisN
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Is it just me, or does that cat look like it doesn't subscribe to the non-violence parts of Buddhist philosophy? At least in relation to the photographer.
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The Buddha taught non-violence, not non-aggression!Ibix said:
-Dan
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Finished it!
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To commemorate her 85th birthday, actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP.
One of the musical numbers she recited was 'My Favorite Things' from the legendary movie 'Sound Of Music'. Here are the clever lyrics she used:
If you're old enough to remember to song, you're old enough to appreciate the humor
*Botox & nose drops & needles for knitting,*
*Walkers & handrails & new dental fittings,*
*Bundles of magazines tied up in string,*
*_These are a few of my favorite things_*
*Cadillacs & cataracts,* *hearing aids & glasses,*
*Polident & Fixodent & false teeth in glasses,*
*Pacemakers, golf carts, & porches with swings,*
*_These are a few of my favorite things._*
*When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,*
*When the knees go bad,*
*I simply remember my favorite things,*
*And then I don't feel so bad.*
*Hot tea & crumpets & corn pads for bunions,*
*No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,*
*Bathrobes & heating pads & hot meals they bring,*
*_These are a few of my favorite things._*
*Back pain, confused brains, & no need for sinnin',*
*Thin bones & fractures & hair that is thinnin',*
*And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,*
*_When we remember our favorite things._*
*When the joints ache,
When the hips break,*
*When the eyes grow dim,*
*Then I remember the great life I've had,*
*And then I don't feel so bad.*
>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>
Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd_
that lasted over 4 minutes & repeated encores.
One of the musical numbers she recited was 'My Favorite Things' from the legendary movie 'Sound Of Music'. Here are the clever lyrics she used:
If you're old enough to remember to song, you're old enough to appreciate the humor
*Botox & nose drops & needles for knitting,*
*Walkers & handrails & new dental fittings,*
*Bundles of magazines tied up in string,*
*_These are a few of my favorite things_*
*Cadillacs & cataracts,* *hearing aids & glasses,*
*Polident & Fixodent & false teeth in glasses,*
*Pacemakers, golf carts, & porches with swings,*
*_These are a few of my favorite things._*
*When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,*
*When the knees go bad,*
*I simply remember my favorite things,*
*And then I don't feel so bad.*
*Hot tea & crumpets & corn pads for bunions,*
*No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,*
*Bathrobes & heating pads & hot meals they bring,*
*_These are a few of my favorite things._*
*Back pain, confused brains, & no need for sinnin',*
*Thin bones & fractures & hair that is thinnin',*
*And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,*
*_When we remember our favorite things._*
*When the joints ache,
When the hips break,*
*When the eyes grow dim,*
*Then I remember the great life I've had,*
*And then I don't feel so bad.*
>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>
Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd_
that lasted over 4 minutes & repeated encores.
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