Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #17,251
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  • #17,253
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  • #17,254
A politician dies and ends up at the pearly gates. Saint Peter says “We have a policy for people of your profession. You must spend one day in heaven and then one day in hell. Then you choose where you want to spend eternity.”

He goes to heaven first where he finds angels singing and people playing harps. Heaven seems very boring to him so the next day he goes to hell. To his surprise he sees lush greenery and luxury five star hotels instead of a barren waste land and people being tortured. He’s greeted by satan who is wearing a tuxedo and sipping a martini. He says “Hell is misrepresented by humans. We have luxury hotels, the best chefs and top notch sports facilities including a large pool.”

The politician spends the entire day enjoying the luxury in hell. The next day he is taken back to the pearly gates and chooses to live in hell from now on. He is sent to hell. But this time he sees a barren waste land illuminated only by rivers of lava and hears the screams of people being tortured. Once again he sees satan in his tuxedo sipping on a martini. He asks satan “What happened to the luxury hotels?” Satan replies “Yesterday we were campaigning and today you voted.”
 
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  • #17,255
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  • #17,257
phinds said:
Never gonna let you down
And hurt you.
 
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  • #17,258
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  • #17,259
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  • #17,260
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  • #17,261
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  • #17,263
And they say German is difficult ...
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  • #17,264
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  • #17,265
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  • #17,266
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  • #17,267
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  • #17,269
There's extra spice in teaching English in France...
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  • #17,270
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  • #17,271
Saw something the other day that is both true and funny
God gives you family, but true friends make up for it
 
  • #17,272
I hear the movie studios are offering concessions to the striking actors: free lifetime popcorn, Icees, Junior Mints, Raisinets...
 
  • #17,273
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  • #17,274
jtbell said:
I hear the movie studios are offering concessions to the striking actors: free lifetime popcorn, Icees, Junior Mints, Raisinets...
That probably comes out to be higher than their acting wages!

-Dan
 
  • #17,275
topsquark said:
That probably comes out to be higher than their acting wages!

-Dan
And lifetime popcorn refers to popcorn that's been in the machines for a lifetime.
 
  • #17,276
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  • #17,277
WWGD said:
[...] My fellow short ladies know the struggle...
...to get your husbands to pay more attention to you? :oldconfused:
 
  • #17,278
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  • #17,279
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  • #17,280
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