Collection of Lame Jokes

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

How many times did I say it today:
No, it's not a " cool costume", it's my face!

 

[fresh_42]

 

[davenn]

Why does it take a pirate so long to learn the alphabet?
Because he spends years at C.

 

[topsquark]

Why does it take a pirate so long to learn the alphabet?
Because he spends years at C.

C'mon! Everyone knows that the only letters a pirate knows are "sea, aye, arrrrr, and x"

-Dan

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Swamp Thing]

C'mon! Everyone knows that the only letters a pirate knows are "sea, aye, arrrrr, and x"

-Dan

What does a pirate say on his eightieth birthday?

"Aye, matey!"

 

[romsofia]

 

[davenn]

View attachment 334612

and for a combination of both those topics (coffins and Egyptians) with a twist .....

When an Egyptian with very little money chose the lowest bidder for their mummification…….You get Marge from the Simpsons

 

[Borg]

When an Egyptian with very little money chose the lowest bidder for their mummification…….You get Marge from the Simpsons

And salad forks for feet.

 

[topsquark]

And salad forks for feet.

And two missing toes.

Actually, I've only watched a couple of episodes of the Simpsons. Do they have the correct number of digits?

-Dan

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

Let's call it a draw!​

 

[berkeman]

Actually, I've only watched a couple of episodes of the Simpsons. Do they have the correct number of digits?

It would appear not...

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/the-simpsons--504332858285519327/

 

[jack action]

I wonder if the guy who coined the term "One Hit Wonder" came up with any other phrases.

 

[Arjan82]

Let's call it a draw!​

View attachment 334639

It's just a flesh wound!

 

[Arjan82]

It would appear not...

View attachment 334640
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/the-simpsons--504332858285519327/

Seems like it depends on which foot of the mummy you take...

 

[Ibix]

Actually, I've only watched a couple of episodes of the Simpsons. Do they have the correct number of digits?

There's an episode where Lisa reads a popsci magazine and tells Bart that it says that in a million years humans will all have an extra finger. That prompts a long closeup of Bart's hand with its three fingers and a thumb, with Bart commenting "Five fingers! Weird...".

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[nuuskur]

nevermind the grammar

 

[phinds]

Ah, the woodworkers lament:

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DennisN]

 

[pinball1970]

Kamala Harris: “Great Conference Rishi, Hi five!”

Rishi Sunak:

 

[fresh_42]

Kamala Harris: “Great Conference Rishi, Hi five!”

Rishi Sunak:

This is eerie!

Rishi Sunak was born in England in 1980 as the eldest of three siblings. His father Yashvir was born in what was then the British colony of Kenya and his mother Usha was born in what was then the British mandate of Tanganyika (now Tanzania). Both families originally came from the Indian Punjab and emigrated from East Africa to Southampton in Hampshire in the 1960s, where they met.

The Demons of Punjab
.
Ryan Sinclair: Did you hear the noises in the valley in the night?
Prem: The violence is getting closer.
Ryan Sinclair: Who's doing this stuff?
Prem: Ordinary people who've lived here all their lives, whipped into a frenzy to be part of a mob. There's nothing worse than when ordinary people lose their minds. We've lived together for decades, Hindu, Muslim and Sikh, and now we're being told that our differences are more important than what unites us.
...
...
Nani Umbreen: I was the first woman married in Pakistan, and I was the first Muslim woman to work in a textile mill in South Yorkshire.

The German synch put Nani in Southhampton, not South Yorkshire.

Everyone talks about The Simpsons foreshadowing real events. The Doctor does this apparently, too. The episode had been broadcast 4 years before Rishi became Prime Minister.

 

[fresh_42]

Kids used to write everything down in a diary and get angry if someone read it.

Nowadays kids put everything online and get angry if no one reads it.​

 

[Borg]

Kamala Harris: “Great Conference Rishi, Hi five!”

Rishi Sunak:

OR.

Kamala Harris: "Talk to the hand"

Rishi Sunak:

 

[fresh_42]

Spoiler: Caution! Another "Ouch" one.

 

[pinball1970]

OR.

Kamala Harris: "Talk to the hand"

Rishi Sunak:

Meme potential