Collection of Lame Jokes

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[davenn]

A lot of wives complain that their husbands do not listen

I have never heard my wife say this.

She may have .....

 

[dextercioby]

Silly, lame, the perfect place here:

 

[topsquark]

Silly, lame, the perfect place here:

View attachment 335307

Mommy: Billy, what do you want for Christmas?

Billy: Cancer!

-Dan

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DaveC426913]

_{It should go without saying that the challenging bit doesn't lie in the burger getting eaten.
The challenging bit lies in the burger (not to put too fine a point on it) staying eaten.}

 

[phinds]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jack action]

 

[phinds]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 335417

That's an exaggeration. In reality, the compromise was: in every room with a ceiling and on the porch.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[pinball1970]

View attachment 335351

And religion, goes down a storm in the pub too!

 

[Ibix]

And religion, goes down a storm in the pub too!

Let's stick to football. Did you watch the Old Firm match yesterday?

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 335352

The question is, is "Zeitgeist" a spirit or a geist ale?

 

[jack action]

View attachment 335071

 

[pinball1970]

Let's stick to football. Did you watch the Old Firm match yesterday?

Old Firm to me means Celtic V Rangers, there a few internationals yesterday, U17, womens??

 

[Ibix]

Old Firm to me means Celtic V Rangers

Yup. Nice safe topic of conversation with no chance of fighting.

(I've no idea if there was a match between them yesterday - guessing not from your reaction.)

 

[fresh_42]

And religion, goes down a storm in the pub too!

Everything works that fulfills the following three conditions:

1. Everybody has an opinion.
2. Nobody has a clue.
3. People can be divided into disjoint groups.

 

[fresh_42]

Yup. Nice safe topic of conversation with no chance of fighting.

Celtic vs. Rangers? Ain't this religion?

 

[berkeman]

From Facebook today...

 

[DaveC426913]

View attachment 335351

At a Thanksgiving dinner a few years ago, I got bored with the dry conversation. I nodded to my fam members sitting near me at the kids' end of the table, saying "Watch this!"

I mimed grabbing a grenade, and pulling the pin out with my teeth.
I hollered "Trump!" and lobbed the pretend grenade into the middle of the other end of the table. I stuck my fingers in my ears and mimed cowering.

The explosion went off and the grown ups argued for an hour straight.

True story!

 

[fresh_42]