Collection of Lame Jokes

[FizixFreak]

But what about the poor little insects that live under that rock who would want to destroy their home...,now that would be cruel

 

[FizixFreak]

PATIENT:Doctor please help me! i pee at 6am and poop at 7am

DOCTOR:I don't see what the problem is.









PATIENT:I wake up at 8am!

 

[jobyts]

But what about the poor little insects that live under that rock who would want to destroy their home...,now that would be cruel

Eat light. Be a breatherian.

 

[DaveC426913]

Eat light. Be a breatherian.

Anyone (old enough to) remember Bloom County? They had a sketch where they hung from trees to avoid stepping on bugs and had filters over their mouths so as not to breathe bacteria.

 

[OmCheeto]

Anyone (old enough to) remember Bloom County? They had a sketch where they hung from trees to avoid stepping on bugs and had filters over their mouths so as not to breathe bacteria.

I'm old enough! But don't remember that particular set.

Anyone old enough to remember this one:

I'd rather have a bottle in front o' me than a frontal lobotomy.​

 

[FizixFreak]

Anyone (old enough to) remember Bloom County? They had a sketch where they hung from trees to avoid stepping on bugs and had filters over their mouths so as not to breathe bacteria.

I saw a documentary about an african tribe that also "filtered" their mouth for same reason can't remember the name of that tribe it was very long time ago does anybody has any information about them?

But i just couldn't understand how someone so premitive would even know about microoraganisms or they just found that out when they came in contact with outsiders i.e normal people.

HIPPIES:Dude you know about the millions of becteria you kill when you inhale?

TRIBESMEN:SH*T...,we need mouth filters.

 

[jobyts]

Anyone (old enough to) remember Bloom County? They had a sketch where they hung from trees to avoid stepping on bugs and had filters over their mouths so as not to breathe bacteria.

Some of the Jain Monks do it even now.
From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ahimsa_in_Jainism,

the concept of Ahiṃsā is so much intertwined with Jainism that it conjures up images of ascetics who cover their mouths and sweep the ground before them with small brushes to avoid injuring the most minuscule forms of life and Jain-owned animal sanctuaries where even the sickest, most deformed birds and beasts are protected and cherished.

 

[Lisa!]

 

[FizixFreak]

Eat light. Be a breatherian.

I think phototerian would be the right word!

 

[IMP]

Following the tragic death of the Human Cannonball at the Kent Show, a spokesman said "We'll struggle to get another man of the same caliber."

 

[lisab]

Eat light. Be a breatherian.

Wouldn't that make you a photonarian?

 

[jtbell]

Wife: Honey, I think I'm going to do it. I want bigger boobs. I want $5000 to get a boob job.

Husband: What, you don't think you have a big enough boob standing in front of you right now?

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

First woman was created. She had three breasts. The middle breast kept getting in the way so she asked to have it removed. It was removed and handed to her. She said what am I going to do with this useless boob? Then man was created.

 

[FizixFreak]

Wouldn't that make you a photonarian?

Not "phototerian"?

 

[OmCheeto]

Wouldn't that make you a photonarian?

Not "phototerian"?

??

You absorb the photons from food to fuel your bio-electric field. Cooked food literally requires your body to fill the dead matter with photons so that it can be assimilated, thus weakening your body.

(link not shared as it only got worse. kirlian photography, etc, etc, etc.)

So can we just stand facing the sun with our mouths open?

found whilst googling "people who eat photons", to determine the definitive answer.

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

Tyrannosaurus Rex: I don't want those .ZIP files! Give me .RARs!

 

[DaveC426913]

Tyrannosaurus Rex: I don't want those .ZIP files! Give me .RARs!

Careful you don't end up extinct by falling into a tarball.

bazinga

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

Careful you don't end up extinct by falling into a tarball.

bazinga

I'll get a cab to pull me out.

 

[QuarkCharmer]

Careful you don't end up extinct by falling into a tarball.

bazinga

That joke .iso lame.

 

[Lancelot59]

Careful you don't end up extinct by falling into a tarball.

bazinga

I'll get a cab to pull me out.

That joke .iso lame.

I guess it should be zipped up and put away with the others.

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

I guess it should be zipped up and put away with the others.

Or stuffed in a jar.

 

[Lancelot59]

Or stuffed in a jar.

Or take it to a .zoo. Possibly send it out to .sea?

 

[Borg]

[PLAIN]http://mthruf.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/job-fails-extraction.jpg

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

Or take it to a .zoo. Possibly send it out to .sea?

Maybe I'll just .sit on it.
Nah, I'll thow it in a .bin.

No, even better. I'll start a rock band by cramming it in my .gtar.

 

[Lancelot59]

Maybe I'll just .sit on it.
Nah, I'll thow it in a .bin.

No, even better. I'll start a rock band by cramming it in my .gtar.

Be sure to watch your diet, and not to have too much BTRFS so you don't end up getting FAT.

 

[Borek]

Strange, I seem to remember using - somewhere in late eighties - program that was able to .pak files, but it is not listed in wikipedia archive formats page.

 

[Lancelot59]

Strange, I seem to remember using - somewhere in late eighties - program that was able to .pak files, but it is not listed in wikipedia archive formats page.

It could've been a proprietary format that wasn't widely used.

 

[QuarkCharmer]

.pak is mostly used by video game companies for some reason. It's still around, check out Half-Life (Well okay, that's an old one, but still, it's not 1980's)

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

Be sure to watch your diet, and not to have too much BTRFS so you don't end up getting FAT.

I'll utilize DEFLATE.

 

[lisab]

- Neutrino.
- Knock-knock!
- Who's there?