Collection of Lame Jokes

[Lancelot59]

With the new iPhone out, we can expect Siri to contribute a lot of lame jokes. Here are a couple that I've read about recently:

Q: Can you tell me a bad joke?

Siri: Two iPhones walk into a bar ... I forget the rest.

-----

Q: How much wood can a woodchuck chuck?

Siri: 42 cords.

-----

Q: Who's on first?

Siri: That's right.

There's already a website for this stuff:
http://garbagesirisays.com/

[PLAIN]http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltdn1zVpNe1r4h7kbo1_500.png[PLAIN]http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltdy96kEZm1r4h7kbo1_500.png

 

[Isaacsname]

When a blind person touches sandpaper, do they interpet static ?

 

[WhoWee]

When a blind person touches sandpaper, do they interpet static ?

That's a bit rough - even coarse - and quite abrasive.

 

[Isaacsname]

That's a bit rough - even coarse - and quite abrasive.

Apologies then, I never meant to rub you the wrong way.

 

[WhoWee]

Apologies then, I never meant to rub you the wrong way.

No worries - hardly scratched the surface.

 

[Lancelot59]

No worries - hardly scratched the surface.

Now that that has been smoothed over, let's tell a joke.

 

[WhoWee]

Now that that has been smoothed over, let's tell a joke.

Not to be glossy, but a friction-less transition to real humor might require joke buffers:

http://www.google.com/search?aq=0&oq=joke+buffer&gcx=w&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=joke+buffers

 

[FlexGunship]

For the love of science, STOP!

(Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/-jon-/2239916961/)

 

[dacruick]

Impressive banter above.

 

[WhoWee]

For the love of science, STOP!

(Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/-jon-/2239916961/)

I guess NOW we all know what the sandpaper would sound like?

 

[HeLiXe]

Now that that has been smoothed over, let's tell a joke.

 

[Isaacsname]

You guys are going to wear me down if this keeps up.

 

[Lancelot59]

You guys are going to wear me down if this keeps up.

Sorry, I didn't mean to grind on your nerves.

 

[Borek]

I don't recall any joke that was polished that long

 

[jtbell]

You guys are going to wear me down if this keeps up.

Illegitimi non carborundum.

 

[Isaacsname]

This thread goes against the grain of anything decent.

 

[Isaacsname]

Whats Mork from Ork's favorite SI unit ?

The Nanoometer

 

[QuarkCharmer]

Whats Mork from Ork's favorite SI unit ?

The Nanoometer

What's Mike Tyson's favorite unit of mass?

Spoiler

The slug.

 

[Isaacsname]

A sheet of paper wraps around a bar...

 

[HeLiXe]

Whats Mork from Ork's favorite SI unit ?

The Nanoometer

lololz

 

[HeLiXe]

I don't recall any joke that was polished that long

 

[Lancelot59]

I don't recall any joke that was polished that long

It's really fine grain humor.

 

[OldChap]

Physics? I know nothing about physics but here I do enjoy the Gritty humor

 

[Isaacsname]

Sitting Bull had to ride a rental Ox while his Bison was in the shop.

After a few days, he noticed the interior of his thighs were getting chapped.

He paused one day and thought to himself ; " This is quite the corundum, I have a fond emory of sitting on something smoother than an oxide ".

 

[Isaacsname]

What an odd co-inkydink, a friend sent this in my mail this morning..




http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_JoqPMBEkp...AI0/N2W-s72E3RQ/s1600/20. Sand Paper Mask.jpg

 

[WhoWee]

What an odd co-inkydink, a friend sent this in my mail this morning..

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_JoqPMBEkp...AI0/N2W-s72E3RQ/s1600/20. Sand Paper Mask.jpg

Son of Sand Paper or the Masked Finisher?

 

[Isaacsname]

Son of Sand Paper or the Masked Finisher?

We can hope he'll deliver a smooth finish to this thread once and for all.

 

[Isaacsname]

Hey, what did the banana say to the bunch ?

" I'll see you guys later, I gotta...
































...go to the store to get a sock "

 

[Lancelot59]

We can hope he'll deliver a smooth finish to this thread once and for all.

It was getting a little rough.

 

[OldChap]

Sand paper you say... I thought it was a map of the Sahara