Collection of Lame Jokes

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 339950

That's a-llama-ing.

 

[nsaspook]

 

[Halc]

View attachment 339957

The initial comment I had was that 'resistance is futile'.

I mean, if the killers offered no resistance, then the two on the bottom left will short out the load, and the two on the right would not be currently killing. (or not killing current?)

If the killers do offer resistance, then what's the point of the surplus resistor in either circuit?

And it's not strictly parallel either. One per line please. Jokes should get it right.

 

[WWGD]

Chill, we already have two Germans, the compliance quota has been filled.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 339961

I always imagine what it would be like to make a similar such call and reach the wrong number: " Oh, apologies. Then tell your neighbor, I will kill him".

 

[fresh_42]

 

[gmax137]

I always imagine what it would be like to make a similar such call and reach the wrong number: " Oh, apologies. Then tell your neighbor, I will kill him".

I had a friend in high school who would dial random numbers from pay phones. When someone picked up, he would say, "This is your last chance. If you don't come up with the money, you'll never see her again. You know where and when, and remember, no cops!" And then he hung up.

 

[nsaspook]

The initial comment I had was that 'resistance is futile'.

I mean, if the killers offered no resistance, then the two on the bottom left will short out the load, and the two on the right would not be currently killing. (or not killing current?)

If the killers do offer resistance, then what's the point of the surplus resistor in either circuit?

And it's not strictly parallel either. One per line please. Jokes should get it right.

It's a superconducting resistor so we have killers with super-powers.

 

[Baluncore]

It's a superconducting resistor so we have killers with super-powers.

There can be no power in a superconducting resistor.

 

[Tom.G]

Ahh, but it can have a voltage-killing effect even without using any power.
Does that qualify as a super-power without any power?

(that's as deep as I care to go down that rabbit hole)

 

[Orodruin]

 

[fresh_42]

My ex texted me "Wish you were here!"
She always does this when she walks through the cemetery.

 

[nuuskur]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 340008

I heard of someone who got back to her desk to find a note asking her to call Jill Withergee at a company they did business with. She rang the company and asked for Jill Withergee, but got "no-one of that name here". After a bit of back-and-forth she eventually realised the message had been left by Gill, who spelt her name with a G.

 

[fresh_42]

Guess that's why our "doughnuts" are spheres and not tori:

 

[WWGD]

Guess that's why our "doughnuts" are spheres and not tori:

View attachment 340009

Tori Spelling: T , o, r, i.I.
Homer Simpson: D'Oh nuts.

 

[WWGD]

I had a friend in high school who would dial random numbers from pay phones. When someone picked up, he would say, "This is your last chance. If you don't come up with the money, you'll never see her again. You know where and when, and remember, no cops!" And then he hung up.

There was this prank show where the person starring, dressed in a trench coat and dark glasses, would sit in occupied benches at public parks , utter a cheesy cold war phrase to the person in the bench, like "Winter Started Early in Moscow this year" , and slide a manila envelope supposedly filled with secret documents across the bench. Upon seeing the quizzical look of the other person at the bench, he'd say " You're not black bear? Excuse me, I got the wrong person." I wish I could remember the name of the show.

 

[Orodruin]

 

[WWGD]

 

[collinsmark]

View attachment 340024

Here's a link to the original SMBC comic, since it's hard to read on PF w/ PF's image size restrictions.

Source: https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/2015-01-25