Collection of Lame Jokes

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What did the duck say when the waiter brought the check? "Put it on my bill."
 
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I learned a new word today.

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DrGreg said:
I didn't know Complan was a verb!
Jokes don't require proper spelling. That's a well known, longstanding rule that I just made up.
 
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Well the boy already equated 10 with 10! ... so some part of his brain must have known what that would mean.
 
I think I might have seen this here before, but it's worth repeating:
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I've been letting my hair grow longer and in anticipation of that, I decided to research what was the best shampoo.

I polled 100 women and almost all of them were very strongly of the opinion that I should get the hell out of their shower.
 
My son was emphasizing some point or other recently and backed it up by saying that he based it on polling data.

I told him I didn't trust poles because I had taken a pole myself once and all it did was piss off everyone in the tent.

He said I was spelling it wrong. Damn youngster will make up anything to bolster his point.

My revenge will be to give his son lots of sugar and teach him to cuss.