Collection of Lame Jokes

[BillTre]

 

[Borg]

 

[jtbell]

True story:

More than 30 years ago, we were looking to fill a vacancy in my department. Our pile of applications included one from a guy named Ding, and one from a guy named Dong.

Our chairman said, "Too bad we can't hire both of them. Then we would have Ding, Dong and Bell."

 

[berkeman]

a guy named Ding, and one from a guy named Dong.

I had a TA in undergrad with one of those last names. His first name was Luong. (true story)

 

[Orodruin]

True story:

More than 30 years ago, we were looking to fill a vacancy in my department. Our pile of applications included one from a guy named Ding, and one from a guy named Dong.

Our chairman said, "Too bad we can't hire both of them. Then we would have Ding, Dong and Bell."

Sounds better than Wang, which is a pretty common name ...

 

[BillTre]

 

[DennisN]

(I've never thought about this odd thing, but it's true (at least in Sweden), we measure screens in inches for some reason .)

 

[Borg]

How dung beetles celebrate Christmas.

 

[jtbell]

Sounds better than Wang, which is a pretty common name ...

One of the other grad students in my research group in grad school was actually named Wang!

 

[DennisN]

I've probably posted this link before, but I couldn't resist when you talked about Asian names...

I'm not sure about the quality of this restaurant in Indonesia...

Edit:

And a screenshot from Google Maps :

 

[topsquark]

One of the other grad students in my research group in grad school was actually named Wang!

I may have posted this before: I once had a Dutch boss named "Dale E. Werk."

-Dan

 

[jbriggs444]

I may have posted this before: I once had a Dutch boss named "Dale E. Werk."

I am sure this has been posted at least once previously.

Niklaus Wirth (creator of Pascal and structured programming maven) was reputedly asked how his name should be pronounced. Pausing a moment he replied "That depends. If you want to call me by name, it is Viert. If you want to call me by value, it is Worth.

 

[davenn]

Actually, when I was a kid .... it was still a manual phone exchange system
the operator in the phone exchange was like ......

not the one from my childhood town that Dad took me to ( Mosgiel, NZ), in the late 1960's
but representitive of it
And in 1976, I got a job with the local branch of the NZPO that also did all the telephone stuff.
By then Mosgiel and surrounds were now automatic exchange.
Going into the mid 1980's and I was still with NZPO ( NZ Post Office) and was part of the reequipping the tourist town of Queenstown with a digital telephone exchange - upgrading from a manual exchange like above.

 

[nsaspook]

Rule, never give your loaded weapon to a Naval officer, give it to the Marine E1 (lowest enlisted) instead.
Navy once again demonstrating the vital roll of the U.S. Marine's Keeping small arms away from Navy Brass.

 

[berkeman]

"Boy, that sure is a little biddy ship out there!"...

 

[Swamp Thing]

View attachment 343475

Maybe it's some sort of eclipse viewing accessory?

 

[nsaspook]

Maybe it's some sort of eclipse viewing accessory?

The CO of a ship like that doesn't usually handle small arms so I have no idea why he went full HALO Master Chief.

I would bet a $1 some gunners mate put together that rig for a photo 'shoot' expecting some other guys with weapons familiarity would find it funny but somehow the CO asked to pop a few rounds for the media hounds.

The fact nobody (gunners mates/weapons handlers) said something about it to him, tells me, he's likely not loved onboard.

 

[berkeman]

 

[jack action]

Yes, I like those! Don't care how lame they are!

 

[jtbell]

I just realized that next year will be the 60th anniversary of the first smartphone:

 

[gmax137]

Everything in that show was funny.

 

[jtbell]

Even when they missed it by that much.

 

[phinds]

A workplace statement ... my sentiments exactly:

 

[Borg]

That looks like it was written by Chat GPT 0.001.

 

[phinds]

That looks like it was written by Chat GPT 0.001.

I envision it as having been written by a sleep deprived, half drunk, manager who had read WAY too many mission statements.

 

[JT Smith]

Everything in that show was funny.

Yeah, I think that too. But when I've watched old episodes I've been struck by how bad a lot of the writing actually was. Cringeworthy. Definitely some hilarious stuff though. That's what I tend to remember.

 

[phinds]

Yeah, I think that too. But when I've watched old episodes I've been struck by how bad a lot of the writing actually was. Cringeworthy. Definitely some hilarious stuff though. That's what I tend to remember.

Some of it (the dialog) was so awful that when I watched it (at the time it was actually on) I was pretty sure that was intentional, along with how silly most of it was.

 

[dextercioby]

 

[phinds]

Fellow was going up the road on his way home behind an ambulance and he noticed a small metal box sitting on the back bumper. When the ambulance turned the corner, the box flew off and landed near the shoulder.

He thought, it's high time to be a good Samaritan, so he pulled his Jeep over and retrieved it. When he opened it, there was a human toe packed in an ice bag. Holy smoke, he thought! So he called St Thomas Hospital nearby, and they said, yes, the ambulance had arrived without the box.

He gave them his location and asked if they were going to send another ambulance to collect it?

The lady replied, "No, we'll just send a toe truck."

 

[phinds]

OK, I'll do this one myself