Collection of Lame Jokes
- Thread starter quddusaliquddus
- Start date
-
- Tags
- Jokes
Join the discussion
Registration is free. Ask a follow-up in this thread, or start your own.
24,333 replies · 3M views
Science Advisor
Homework Helper
- 7,908
- 13,226
I used to just pee around a seat in coffee shops , to mark it as mine, reserved. But, go figure, it seems " It's not acceptable ".DennisN said:If anyone wonders why cats do these things: they rub themselves against things to leave their scent and claim ownership of it.
One of my cats has done it lately with my tablet when I'm reading it in bed. She does it so intensely that she sometimes have closed apps when rubbing against the screen. She also has a habit of biting on the usb cable.
Science Advisor
- 13,423
- 4,244
- 13,926
- 16,803
I do actually, somewhere, have a bottle of deionised water that says "do not dilute" on the label.dextercioby said:
DennisN
Gold Member
- 2,197
- 10,329
WWGD said:
- 19,385
- 15,622
Science Advisor
- 13,423
- 4,244
- 22,832
- 14,880
Wait a minute! Where is the top of the lower Oreo?!?!jtbell said:
- 13,926
- 16,803
Invisible against the glare from the cream. Honest.Orodruin said:
- 2,020
- 843
It's my third...nsaspook said:
-Dan
Science Advisor
- 13,423
- 4,244
- 19,385
- 15,622
you might need special glasses for this one
- 22,832
- 14,880
Are those … E-clips? 
- 22,832
- 14,880
About 4 minutes?Bystander said:
Science Advisor
- 13,423
- 4,244
- 2,020
- 843
Spiders are evil. Never listen to them!BillTre said:
-Dan
Science Advisor
Gold Member
- 9,747
- 11,967
A lawyer was cross-examining the doctor about whether or not he had checked the pulse of the deceased before he signed the death certificate.
"No," the doctor said. "I did not check his pulse."
"And did you listen for a heartbeat?" asked the lawyer.
"No I did not," the doctor said.
"So," said the lawyer, "when you signed the death certificate, you had not taken steps to make sure he was dead."
The doctor said, "Well, let me put it this way.
The man's brain was in a jar on my desk but, for all I know, he could be out practicing law somewhere."
"No," the doctor said. "I did not check his pulse."
"And did you listen for a heartbeat?" asked the lawyer.
"No I did not," the doctor said.
"So," said the lawyer, "when you signed the death certificate, you had not taken steps to make sure he was dead."
The doctor said, "Well, let me put it this way.
The man's brain was in a jar on my desk but, for all I know, he could be out practicing law somewhere."
- 19,385
- 15,622
- 19,385
- 15,622
- 19,385
- 15,622
Printed on the door of the Linguistics Dept hallway:
- 19,385
- 15,622
Ah, the circle of life.
