Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #19,081
Burger.jpg


Under pressure.jpg
 
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  • #19,082
Local elections are coming up in a few weeks here.

IMG_4576.jpg


Uh-oh... next thing you know, they'll take over the whole county... then the whole state... then... :eek:
 
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  • #19,083
1716003851621.jpeg
 
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  • #19,084
1716003977937.jpeg
 
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  • #19,085
Screenshot 2024-05-18 at 8.18.21 AM.png
 
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  • #19,086
Friendly tip:

When making a sex tape, always play Disney music in the background.

That way if it gets leaked online, Disney lawyers will have them all taken down.

You're welcome.
 
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  • #19,088
For old time Baseball fans. The Wall Street historical team:
Ernie Banks, Barry Bonds, Don Money and David Cash.
 
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  • #19,089
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  • #19,090
I knew it! Those cats are not what they pretend to be!

1716084301732.png
 
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  • #19,092
1000052943.jpg
 
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  • #19,093
An old lady treats herself to a night's stay in a luxurious hotel. When it's time to pay, the employee at the counter hands her over a $250 bill.

She then asks the employee why it is so expensive. She explains to him that she agrees that it's a nice hotel, but that frankly it wasn't worth $250 for just one night, plus she didn't even have breakfast.

The employee replied that $250 was the standard price, that breakfast was included, and that she could have had it.

She then asks to speak to the director. He arrives at reception and, already informed by the employee, announces:

- “Madam, this hotel has an Olympic-sized swimming pool and a fully equipped conference center, this is part of our standard.

- “But I didn’t use them”, she said.

- “Maybe, but it was there and you could have used them.”

He goes on to explain that the hotel also has a very famous show every evening and that she could have attended it.

- "But I didn’t go to the show”, she insists.

After each service that the hotel manager details, she replies that she did not take advantage of it. But the director always has the answer to everything. After a while, she finally decides and writes a check for ... $50, which she hands to the director.

The latter, surprised when he saw the check, said to her:

- “But ma’am, your check is only for $50!”

- “That’s true, but I charged you $200 for sleeping with me.”

- “But ma’am, I didn’t sleep with you!” exclaims the director.

- “Ah! It’s a shame, I was there, and you could have taken advantage of it!”
 
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  • #19,095
jack action said:
Friendly tip:

When making a sex tape, always play Disney music in the background.

That way if it gets leaked online, Disney lawyers will have them all taken down.

You're welcome.

and a variation on that is ...
if visiting a "girl of the night", video the session, then it's porn, not prostxxx, then it's legal

you are welcome
 
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  • #19,096
Some people are like slinkies.

Not really good for much, but brings a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.
 
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  • #19,099
Starting to wonder about the search history of @jack action. :olduhh:
 
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  • #19,100
Borg said:
Starting to wonder about the search history of @jack action. :olduhh:
Always on the safe side, private browsing only.
 
  • #19,101
16 Commandments for your senior years.
😂
😂
😂
😂
😂

1 - Talk to yourself, because there are times you need expert advice.
2 - Consider "In Style" to be the clothes that still fit.
3 - You don't need anger management. You need people to stop pi$$ing you off.
4 - Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work.
5 - The biggest lie you tell yourself is, "I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it."
6 - You have days when your life is just a tent away from a circus.
7 - These days, "on time" is when you get there.
8 - Even duct tape can't fix stupid - but it sure does muffle the sound.
9 - Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?
10 - Lately, You've noticed people your age are so much older than you.
11 - "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering why you're there.
12 - When you were a child, you thought nap time was punishment. Now it feels like a mini vacation.
13 - Some days you have no idea what you're doing out of bed.
14 - You thought growing old would take longer.
15 - Ageing sure has slowed you down, but it hasn't shut you up.
16 - You still haven't learned to act your age, and hope you never will.
 
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  • #19,102
quddusaliquddus said:
Lamest joke you know ... 💤
Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinder?
made a spectacle of himself...

Boss, can't come in today, voices in my head told me where my previous boss is.....

Well, you wanted bad jokes....
 
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  • #19,103
Screenshot 2024-05-21 at 10.19.56 AM.png
 
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  • #19,104
Screenshot 2024-05-21 at 10.01.12 AM.png
 
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  • #19,105
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  • #19,106
What do you call the stuff that's swept up in a citrus factory?

Fruit of the broom.
 
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  • #19,108
Borg said:
What do you call the stuff that's swept up in a citrus factory?

Fruit of the broom.
'Floor Play' I dunno....lol
 
  • #19,109
Gifovaco said:
'Floor Play' I dunno....lol
Sweet and Sour... Ya know it's .....♫a long, long road♫
 
  • #19,110
nsaspook said:
"Hello Darkness my Old Friend, I stood up too fast Again."
Too young to relate :rolleyes:
 

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