Collection of Lame Jokes

[BillTre]

 

[jtbell]

Why did the student bring a ladder to graduation?

So he could graduate at the top of his class.

 

[gmax137]

I forgot how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in Roman numerals.

I’M LIVID.

 

[WWGD]

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[rayansmith]

Q. What do you call fake spaghetti?
A. An impasta.
Q. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
A. It was two-tired.

 

[nsaspook]

 

[berkeman]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 344550

Better than worms in the brain.

 

[jtbell]

A landlord showing apartments to a prospective tenant is getting frustrated:

"Come now, Mr. Shakespeare, please make up your mind! Which one do you want? 2B or not 2B, that is the question!"

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[DrGreg]

A landlord showing apartments to a prospective tenant is getting frustrated:

"Come now, Mr. Shakespeare, please make up your mind! Which one do you want? 2B or not 2B, that is the question!"

Something similar happened in a pencil shop.

Spoiler: I don't get it

In Europe, at least, "2B" is a grade of pencil.

 

[jtbell]

Yeah, when I did a Google search for images (cartoons or memes), all the hits were related to pencils. We have #2 pencils here, too.

When I first moved here, 39 years ago, I lived in a college-owned apartment complex, in apartment 2B. While I was living there, I saw a cartoon showing the situation that I described, and taped it on my front door.

Then I hooked up with my wife-to-be, who lived two doors away in apartment 2D. We got married, bought a house, and moved there. We're still there.

I've occasionally tried to find a cartoon like the one that I had on my apartment door, but with no luck.

 

[Borg]

Better than worms in the brain.

Depends on where a person's head is located. Could be both at the same time.

 

[Hornbein]

View attachment 344822​

Arnold said they had no idea that line would iconify. Indeed he argued against it. He wanted to say "I will be back." The script writer told him let me do my job and you do yours.

 

[Borg]

I just had to look that one up. Here he's talking about it on Howard Stern's show. Note: some cursing.

 

[DrGreg]

We have #2 pencils here, too.

Yes, but according to Wikipedia, the U.S. system is different from the European system.

Europe	U.S.	Russia
2B	#0	2М
B	#1	M
HB	#2	TM
H	#3	T
2H	#4	2T

 

[phinds]

 

[Bystander]

View attachment 345167

Cats who do NOT want to move/be moved?

 

[symbolipoint]

What do you call a donkey who kicks others without justification?

Bad Ass

( I was trying to do this with SPOILER tags but I am too confused.)

 

[fresh_42]

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]