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“Hello. Is this the Alcoholics Anonymous counseling center?”
“Yes. How can I help?”
“How do you make a Tequila Sunrise?”
“Yes. How can I help?”
“How do you make a Tequila Sunrise?”
Collection of Lame Jokes
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DaveC426913
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Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"
Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.
- Emo Phillips, 2005
He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"
Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.
- Emo Phillips, 2005
Science Advisor
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Don't use a big word when a singularly unloquacious and diminutive linguistic expression will satisfactorily accomplish the contemporary necessity.
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Apparently you can't use 'beefstew" as a password. It's not stroganoff.
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Not surprising. It doesn't live in the Château Briand.jack action said:
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My girlfriend almost missed her train this morning because she was using my oven clock as a guide. My oven clock! She can be glad she left in the right century!
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Science Advisor
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edwardII
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Swamp Thing
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They laughed when I said I was going to learn to do poetry, because of my dislectia.
But they won't be laughing anymore... I've already made a vase, a bowl and a mug.
But they won't be laughing anymore... I've already made a vase, a bowl and a mug.
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They were clearly potty.Swamp Thing said:
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Possibly not the best choice of animal fur as a bath mat.
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The fact that Keith Richards and Willie Nelson have outlived Richard Simmons has me rethinking the whole eating right and exercising thing.
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