Collection of Lame Jokes

[WWGD]

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The homeless guy in the corner was looking for the contents of his shopping cart!

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[davenn]

 

[jtbell]

A minor generational / cultural difference...

Mark Twain (1897): "Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated."

Dolly Parton (2025): "I ain't dead yet!"

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Borg]

Some days are just an epic dumpster fire.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

My teacher told me not to worry about spelling because in the future there will be autocorrect. And for that I am eternally grapefruit.

 

[BillTre]

I got my first computer because I was writing my thesis and am a poor speller.

 

[jack action]

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[jtbell]

I got my first computer because I was writing my thesis and am a poor speller.

I wrote my PhD dissertation in the early 1980s using the TECO text editor and RUNOFF page formatter on my department's VAX 11/780, on which I had done all the Fortran programming for my data analysis. No spell-checker.

Unfortunately, the dissertation office didn't accept the output from our line printer, so I turned it over to one of the department secretaries, who typed dissertations as a side gig. She told me it was the fastest dissertation she had ever done, because she had a clean printout to work from, not my handwriting, and we didn't need to make any major changes, just correct a few typos, and some changes recommended by my dissertation committee.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[jtbell]

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Translations of the inscriptions on the pictures?

 

[WWGD]

Translations of the inscriptions on the pictures?

Very likely. You may just have solved a centuries-old mystery!

 

[WWGD]

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[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[WWGD]

I thought they were offering free Dutch cheese when the Jamaican guy shouted: " Free Edam", " Free Edam". ( Freedom).

 

[collinsmark]

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I've switched back and forth between hard-'g' and soft-'g'. The original team who developed the gif standard preferred the soft-'g', So now I'm inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt. Although to my ears, both are fine choices. Whatever floats your boat. I'll personally tailor my pronunciation depending on the present audience.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pronunciation_of_GIF

In a similar vein, I've also switched up the pronunciation of the prefix "giga-." For example, "Gigawatt," I'll sometimes pronounce it "Jigawatt," with a soft-'g'.

 

[Ibix]

For example, "Gigawatt," I'll sometimes pronounce it "Jigawatt," with a soft-'g'.

IMO, the only acceptable time to say "jigawatts" is when there's one point twenty one of them.

 

[WWGD]

I've switched back and forth between hard-'g' and soft-'g'. The original team who developed the gif standard preferred the soft-'g', So now I'm inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt. Although to my ears, both are fine choices. Whatever floats your boat. I'll personally tailor my pronunciation depending on the present audience.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pronunciation_of_GIF

In a similar vein, I've also switched up the pronunciation of the prefix "giga-." For example, "Gigawatt," I'll sometimes pronounce it "Jigawatt," with a soft-'g'.

Wow, surprised there's a Wikipedia entry joost fir that!

 

[fresh_42]

I once asked British people how they pronounce router. The result was ambiguous. I'm glad we don't have such problems with g. I would say, that it had to be the same as in gift. On the other hand, there is round and wound. I like Shaw's example of how to pronounce ghot (fish).