Collection of Lame Jokes

  • Thread starter Thread starter quddusaliquddus
  • Start date Start date
  • Tags Tags
    Jokes
Click For Summary

Discussion Overview

The thread centers around sharing and enjoying lame jokes, with participants contributing various humorous quips and puns. The discussion explores the nature of humor, particularly focusing on jokes that are intentionally corny or groan-inducing.

Discussion Character

  • Exploratory
  • Debate/contested
  • Conceptual clarification

Main Points Raised

  • Some participants share their favorite lame jokes, such as the classic "Why did the chicken cross the road?" and variations on animal-related humor.
  • Others express differing opinions on the quality of certain jokes, with some finding them hilarious while others consider them unfunny or "lame." For example, one participant finds a specific horse joke funny, while another insists it doesn't qualify as lame.
  • A few jokes incorporate wordplay and puns, such as the "frayed knot" joke and the "super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis" joke, which elicit mixed reactions.
  • There are discussions about surreal humor, with some participants questioning the nature of certain jokes and their classification as humor, such as the "fish" response to a lightbulb question.
  • Participants also engage in playful banter about the quality of jokes and the nature of humor itself, with some joking about the reactions to their contributions.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

There is no clear consensus on what constitutes a "lame" joke, as participants express a range of opinions on the humor shared. Some jokes are appreciated by certain individuals while others find them lacking, indicating a diversity of taste in humor.

Contextual Notes

Some jokes rely on specific cultural references or wordplay that may not be universally understood, leading to varied interpretations among participants.

  • #2,491
jtbell said:
And what's the deal with the town of Umleitung? You follow the signs to it for a while, and then they stop and there's no town there!
Oh is that a town? I thought that was their Chinese Minister of Traffic.
 
Physics news on Phys.org
  • #2,492
jtbell said:
The center of the universe is a bit out of my reach, but I grew up a few miles from the Center of the World, and drove through it regularly on my way to and from college.

640px-Centeroftheworld.jpg
My college was a bit different.
end.jpg
 
  • #2,493
A prostitute in a small town, talking to a man:

prostitute: hi, big guy, looking for a good time?

man: uh, no, thanks.

prostitute: o.k, say hi to your mom!
 
  • #2,494
1)Dr. Kevorkian is also an accomplished pianist, put out a CD , called "unplugged".

2)(Old one) Every time a woman goes to her doctor, he asks her to undress for the consultation. One day the woman gets tired of it and complains: "doctor, why do you ask me to undress everytime I have an appointment?" doctor replies: " lady, if you don't like it, get yourself another dentist!"
 
Last edited:
  • #2,495
http://www.picslap.com/sites/default/files/field/image/whimaway.jpg
 
  • #2,496
lisab said:
http://www.picslap.com/sites/default/files/field/image/whimaway.jpg

Thanks a LOT. Now that's stuck in my head for the next week...
 
  • #2,497
micromass said:
Thanks a LOT. Now that's stuck in my head for the next week...

I KNOW! it's the worst ear worm, ever!
 
  • #2,498
Did you hear about the man who was cooled to absolute zero?

He's 0 K now.
 
  • #2,499
Bacle2 said:
1)Dr. Kevorkian is also an accomplished pianist, put out a CD , called "unplugged".

There's also the man who played the piano in One Direction, after four bars he fell off the end.
 
  • #2,500
Yesterday's random thoughts seemed to revolve around music.
Today, it has started out with chickens.

​
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #2,501
Feeling a bit gloomy? Why not go to Germany and spend the weekend at this http://www.hotel-fueck.de/index.php?lang=en?

5l319x.jpg

 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #2,502
There was a crazy guy throwing stuff around in the store today. I got hit by a bottle of Omega 3 pills, but it's ok. I only had super fish oil injuries.
 
  • #2,503
Borg said:
My college was a bit different.
end.jpg

You were lucky, we had it tough.

funny-traffic-signs-sharp-edges.jpg
 
  • #2,504
I think I created possibly the lamest math joke.

What do mathematicians put on their pancakes?

Theorep.

Thank you, thank you very much.
 
  • #2,505
Scientists today decided to accept the "quantum kilogram" as the new international standard mass unit. Unfortunately, no one could understand it.

Scientists today placed their "quantum kilogram" on a scale for the first time. Unfortunately, it collapsed.

Scientists are delighted about the cost efficiency of their new "quantum kilogram", as it can be studied in multiple labs at once.

:redface:

sorry...
 
  • #2,506
DevilsAvocado said:
You were lucky, we had it tough.

funny-traffic-signs-sharp-edges.jpg

lolololll this is so great
 
  • #2,507
HeLiXe said:
lolololll this is so great
I liked the fact that I didn't see the fine print the first time that I read it. :rolleyes:
 
  • #2,508
Borg said:
I liked the fact that I didn't see the fine print the first time that I read it. :rolleyes:
That was really funny!
 
  • #2,509
Why does hamburger have less energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
 
  • #2,510
Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get away from KFC

Why did the second chicken cross the road?

He was playing follow the leader
 
  • #2,511
How many boring people does it take to change a lightbulb?

...one.
 
  • #2,512
OmCheeto said:
Scientists today decided to accept the "quantum kilogram" as the new international standard mass unit. ...

Several dead scientists were asked their opinion of the decision today:

Feinman; "I don't understand the decision."
Einstein; "Spooky."
Teller; "No one voted for the mega-ton as the standard... Idiots..."
Schrödinger; "The problem is, a cat, somewhere, will die every time you look at it, or, perhaps not."
Dyson; "I preferred the silicon sphere myself."*
Heisenberg; "Ah! Hahahahaha!"


:redface:

sorry...


*Dyson is actually still alive, as of this posting. Knocks on wood.
 
  • #2,513
OmCheeto said:
Several dead scientists were asked their opinion of the decision today:

Feinman; "I don't understand the decision."
Einstein; "Spooky."
Teller; "No one voted for the mega-ton as the standard... Idiots..."
Schrödinger; "The problem is, a cat, somewhere, will die every time you look at it, or, perhaps not."
Dyson; "I preferred the silicon sphere myself."*
Heisenberg; "Ah! Hahahahaha!"


:redface:

sorry...


*Dyson is actually still alive, as of this posting. Knocks on wood.


But weight, there's more! For a limited time, you can get your own quantum kilogram. Just call and don't call the 800 number and your order will be teleported to you.


Disclaimer: Quantum kilograms available in all states before ordering. Your quantum kilogram may not be available after you order it. Quantum teleportation not available with current technology.
 
Last edited:
Reply
  • Like
Likes   Reactions: 1 person
  • #2,514
During my morning walk today, I passed a house that had a piece of equipment on the lawn, with a sign next to it:

FOR SALE - 1/2 HP ELECTRIC WENCH
 
  • #2,515
​
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #2,516
Time for a geography quiz!

minisoda.jpe
 
  • #2,517
Einstein developed a theory about space... and it was about time.
 
  • #2,518
Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton and Blaise Pascal were playing hide-and-seek one fine afternoon. It was decided that Einstein would seek, and Newton and Pascal would hide. He covered his eyes and began counting, "One, two, three...". Pascal dashed into the trees, while Newton drew a large square with a piece of chalk, then stood in it.
"...eight, nine, ten!"
Immediately, Einstein told Newton, "I found you!"
He replied, "No, you found one Newton per square metre; you found Pascal!"
 
Reply
  • Like
Likes   Reactions: Hector Mata
  • #2,519
cyberdiver said:
Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton and Blaise Pascal were playing hide-and-seek one fine afternoon. It was decided that Einstein would seek, and Newton and Pascal would hide. He covered his eyes and began counting, "One, two, three...". Pascal dashed into the trees, while Newton drew a large square with a piece of chalk, then stood in it.
"...eight, nine, ten!"
Immediately, Einstein told Newton, "I found you!"
He replied, "No, you found one Newton per square metre; you found Pascal!"

Lol.
 
  • #2,520
[Got this joke in my email]

On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit.
The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.
The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.
Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit… She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" she guessed.
"No," the boy replied. She tasted another drop and asked, " Champagne?"
"No," said the little boy...."It's a puppy!"
 

Similar threads

Programming Jokes: Lame, Science & Math Jokes!
  • · Replies 470 ·
16
Replies
470
Views
36K
Why is the plural for moose not meese?
  • · Replies 10 ·
Replies
10
Views
990
Upload of photos directly from phone
  • · Replies 2 ·
Replies
2
Views
2K
Are All the Joke Threads Now Called 'Collection of Jokes'?
  • · Replies 4 ·
Replies
4
Views
2K
Overload of positrons joke from Eureka
  • · Replies 4 ·
Replies
4
Views
5K
Are excuses for academic parties getting thinner or is it just me?
  • · Replies 2 ·
Replies
2
Views
4K
Collection of Science Fiction jokes
  • · Replies 17 ·
Replies
17
Views
5K
Bad Math Jokes
  • · Replies 420 ·
15
Replies
420
Views
43K
Undergrad Use probability without sample space?
  • · Replies 7 ·
Replies
7
Views
2K
Holding on to your hat, I mean roof
  • · Replies 15 ·
Replies
15
Views
2K