Collection of Lame Jokes

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Discussion Overview

The thread centers around sharing and enjoying lame jokes, with participants contributing various humorous quips and puns. The discussion explores the nature of humor, particularly focusing on jokes that are intentionally corny or groan-inducing.

Discussion Character

  • Exploratory
  • Debate/contested
  • Conceptual clarification

Main Points Raised

  • Some participants share their favorite lame jokes, such as the classic "Why did the chicken cross the road?" and variations on animal-related humor.
  • Others express differing opinions on the quality of certain jokes, with some finding them hilarious while others consider them unfunny or "lame." For example, one participant finds a specific horse joke funny, while another insists it doesn't qualify as lame.
  • A few jokes incorporate wordplay and puns, such as the "frayed knot" joke and the "super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis" joke, which elicit mixed reactions.
  • There are discussions about surreal humor, with some participants questioning the nature of certain jokes and their classification as humor, such as the "fish" response to a lightbulb question.
  • Participants also engage in playful banter about the quality of jokes and the nature of humor itself, with some joking about the reactions to their contributions.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

There is no clear consensus on what constitutes a "lame" joke, as participants express a range of opinions on the humor shared. Some jokes are appreciated by certain individuals while others find them lacking, indicating a diversity of taste in humor.

Contextual Notes

Some jokes rely on specific cultural references or wordplay that may not be universally understood, leading to varied interpretations among participants.

  • #2,851
18.) There was once a man who sent ten puns to the Pun Master, with the hope that they would satisfy him. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
I like this one most, it's more than being lame actually. :biggrin:
 
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  • #2,852
davenn said:
18.) There was once a man who sent ten puns to the Pun Master, with the hope that they would satisfy him. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Don't bother telling a pun to a kleptomaniac. Kleptomaniacs take things literally.
 
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  • #2,853
DrGreg said:
Don't bother telling a pun to a kleptomaniac. Kleptomaniacs take things literally.
:DD Hilarious!
 
  • #2,854
A baseball umpire once got into a huge argument with a player and ejected him from the game. That player happened to be his son's favorite... and his son had been watching the game on TV. So when the umpire got home, his son snubbed him and refused to sit on his lap like he usually did. In other words:

The son never sits on the brutish umpire.
 
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  • #2,855
Q: The most favorite song of all golfers?
A: The first cut is the deepest.

... or was it boxer ...
 
Last edited:
  • #2,856
has this one been done?
Seasoned lumberjack walks into the lumberjack store and says to the salesman, "
At my age I need something better than my axe to chop trees. I can now do only 2 cords of wood by swinging my axe. I need something better for my tired bones."

Salesman eyes him up. "You look like pretty strong fellow. With this model," showing him a 20-inch chain saw, " you are certainly to do double that - 4 cords a day and you will be home for supper. Every single client swears by it."

Some more discussion, and the impressed lumberjack buys the chainsaw.

Three days later, the lumberjack marches into the store in a rage. "You sold me a piece of junk! 1-1/2 cords is all I could get."

The salesman is perplexed. "If it is a faulty model, I can give you your money back, or exchange. Let me see the machine."
Having the chainsaw, the salesman pulls the cord, and it comes to life.

The lumberjack exclaims. "What's that noise?"
 
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  • #2,857
Mother: So what did you all do in Sunday school today?

Little girl: We learned about God and Cheez-Its.
 
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  • #2,858
ohhh dear ...

https://scontent-syd1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13226939_10154085000681291_6582447191622101317_n.jpg?oh=707e8490950aa97564763d9bf729034c&oe=57C7F51B
 
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  • #2,859
Q: Why is the mycology course the most popular elective in the biology department?

A: The professor who teaches it is a real fun guy.
 
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  • #2,860
jtbell said:
Q: Why is the mycology course the most popular elective in the biology department?

A: The professor who teaches it is a real fun guy.
And I thought it was because the course takes place in the magic mushroom.
 
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  • #2,861
jtbell said:
Q: Why is the mycology course the most popular elective in the biology department?

A: The professor who teaches it is a real fun guy.

hahahaha ( I had to google mycology :rolleyes: )
 
  • #2,862
Why did the toadstool feel squashed?

There wasn't mushroom
 
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  • #2,863
I watched a TV show last night and burst into laugh when the comedian said "Never sit on your own stool".
 
  • #2,864
davenn said:
ohhh dear ...

https://scontent-syd1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13226939_10154085000681291_6582447191622101317_n.jpg?oh=707e8490950aa97564763d9bf729034c&oe=57C7F51B

Oh uhm...yeah.
 
  • #2,865
Andy said:
Why do women wear make up and perfume?Because they're Ugly and Smelly.

Andy...chill
 
  • #2,866
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?

Bison [emoji23][emoji106][emoji23][emoji106][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
 
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  • #2,867
Q: Why are mathematicians bad politicians?

A: They keep to get stuck after the division in "divide and conquer".
 
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  • #2,868
Why does nobody laugh at cow jokes?

They've herd them all before.
 
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  • #2,869
Ibix said:
Why does nobody laugh at cow jokes?

They've herd them all before.
Come out, joke! You're closed in!
No, said the joke, I'm in the majority!
 
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  • #2,870
Bazooka Joe bubblegum - the gum was lame and the jokes were lame.
Remember this one

Bazooka Joe - Andy. Why is you nose all red?
Andy - I got stung smelling a b-rose.
Bazooka Joe - Andy. There is no "b" in rose.
Andy - There was in this one.
 
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  • #2,871
Ibix said:
Why does nobody laugh at cow jokes?

They've herd them all before.

In other words: déjà moo.
 
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  • #2,872
How do you get four elephants in a Mini?

Two in the front, two in the back.

How do you get two rhinoceroses in a Mini?

Get two of the elephants out.

How do you get two whales in a Mini?

Straight up the M4.
 
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  • #2,873
Ibix said:
How do you get four elephants in a Mini?

Two in the front, two in the back.

How do you get two rhinoceroses in a Mini?

Get two of the elephants out.

How do you get two whales in a Mini?

Straight up the M4.
hahalame joke alert !What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One's heavy and the other's a little lighter!
D
 
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  • #2,874
davenn said:
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One's heavy and the other's a little lighter!
I'm surprised that @jtbell hasn't liked this... :wink:
 
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  • #2,875
lame chemistry jokes

oxygen dates.jpg
 
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  • #2,876
Erwin Schrödinger is speeding down the highway one day when a cop pulls him over. While he's asking Erwin for his license and registration, he notices that Erwin is sweating and acting kind of twitchy. The cop spot checks the car and sees nothing suspicious and then asks Erwin if there's anything in his trunk. Erwin replies, yes, I have a cat in the trunk. The cop replies, really, can I check it out? Erwin says, go right ahead.

Accordingly, the cop goes and opens the trunk and exclaims, "That cat is dead!" Erwin replies, "Well, it is now."
 
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  • #2,877
DiracPool said:
Erwin Schrödinger is speeding down the highway one day when a cop pulls him over. While he's asking Erwin for his license and registration, he notices that Erwin is sweating and acting kind of twitchy. The cop spot checks the car and sees nothing suspicious and then asks Erwin if there's anything in his trunk. Erwin replies, yes, I have a cat in the trunk. The cop replies, really, can I check it out? Erwin says, go right ahead.

Accordingly, the cop goes and opens the trunk and exclaims, "That cat is dead!" Erwin replies, "Well, it is now."

that's the lame version of this one I posted in science jokes several months ago ...

heisenberg-and-schrodinger1-jpg.96751.jpg
 
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  • #2,878
davenn said:
that's the lame version of this one I posted in science jokes several months ago ...

Haha. I was guessing that I wasn't the first one to post that joke, but I didn't want to admit it and perhaps attenuate the impact for those who haven't heard it.

I actually just heard the joke for the first time last night on some TV drama show. I think it was "Bones," but I'm not sure. I just paraphrased the joke from memory, but it is funny...and lame.
 
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  • #2,879
A cop stops Einstein for running a red light.
Einstein complains: "I'm sure it was green for me!"

The cop gives him a speeding ticket.
 
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  • #2,880
A post office sorting clerk received a letter addressed to:

Wood
John
Mass.

Who did it end up being delivered to? (Note: this was in the days before street addresses were necessary)

John Underwood
Andover, Mass.
 
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