Sophia
- 112
- 554
Do you know what ruins Friday?
When you find out it's only Monday!
When you find out it's only Monday!
Collection of Lame Jokes
- Thread starter quddusaliquddus
- Start date
-
- Tags
- Jokes
Join the discussion
Registration is free. Ask a follow-up in this thread, or start your own.
24,335 replies · 3M views
Science Advisor
- 2,348
- 124
Psinter said:
Crackpot?
pots?
Science Advisor
- 2,348
- 124
Why does Wednesday suck?Sophia said:
It ruins both weekends.
Psinter
- 278
- 785
mfb said:
Yup for the first, EnumaEnumaElish said:
. Nope for the second. But the second was my bad. I think I should have written it like:What an awesome set of pottery:
Pepper Mint
- 91
- 139
Q: How different is a dogwood to a cherry tree ?
A: its barks.
A: its barks.
- 20,819
- 28,467
Black Holes' matter.
Ketch22
- 184
- 81
Why do cows have hooves,Ibix said:
Because they Lactose.
256bits
Gold Member
- 4,284
- 2,297
Two cows in a field.
" Aren't you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
"Not at all. I'm a helicopter!"
.
.
.
On the day of his 80th birthday, the pirate Captain runs to the lookout at the bow of the ship, and loudly yells to the world,
"Aye Matey"
.
.
.
You never will spot an elephant hiding behind a tree.
Because they are so really good at it.
" Aren't you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
"Not at all. I'm a helicopter!"
.
.
.
On the day of his 80th birthday, the pirate Captain runs to the lookout at the bow of the ship, and loudly yells to the world,
"Aye Matey"
.
.
.
You never will spot an elephant hiding behind a tree.
Because they are so really good at it.
- 13,926
- 16,804
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Freddie.
Freddie who?
Freddie or not, here I come.Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to your house.
Who's there?
Freddie.
Freddie who?
Freddie or not, here I come.Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to your house.
- 20,819
- 28,467
I once had a girlfriend who never wore alge-bras.
Sophia
- 112
- 554
A British comedian said recently:
There are so many Muslims in Britain that I don't feel like in Poland anymore!
There are so many Muslims in Britain that I don't feel like in Poland anymore!
- 20,819
- 28,467
Thank you! Now I'm stuck on this earworm:DrGreg said:
Fizica7
- 62
- 3
You know the good thing about paedophiles driving around schools?
They always go slow.
They always go slow.
Pepper Mint
- 91
- 139
BhuhahahFizica7 said:
tobactrac
- 2
- 2
When does a joke turn into a dad joke?
When the punchline becomes apparent.
Why can't your nose be 12 inches?
Because then it'd be a foot.
I know you're probably tired of lame jokes, but I'd like to say one more again.
One more again.
When the punchline becomes apparent.
Why can't your nose be 12 inches?
Because then it'd be a foot.
I know you're probably tired of lame jokes, but I'd like to say one more again.
One more again.
Pepper Mint
- 91
- 139
If you happen to use my libraries or software and run into problems, please be sure that many of them are deliberately created because I want to fix them again and again.
Jonathan Scott
Gold Member
- 2,358
- 1,274
I previously worked in a software development department where management decided to use the number of defects fixed as a measure of quality achieved. That meant for example that the worst code was rated as the highest quality, and that developers deliberately didn't bother to fix bugs they spotted early, as fixing them via defects would add to their quality score! Indeed, they could "improve" the quality by deliberately introducing additional bugs!Pepper Mint said:
(I only wish that was a lame joke!)
Pepper Mint
- 91
- 139
Yes that is very true, totally you can say that again.
Mentor
- 37,544
- 14,425
It certainly sounds like one.Jonathan Scott said:
256bits
Gold Member
- 4,284
- 2,297
That is friggin hilarious.Jonathan Scott said:
Say it ain't so.
- 20,819
- 28,467
tobactrac said:
That inspired me to:jtbell said:
When it's entangled and someone else observes a mom joke.