Collection of Lame Jokes

  • Thread starter Thread starter quddusaliquddus
  • Start date Start date
  • Tags Tags
    Jokes
AI Thread Summary
The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #4,851
40778395_10217146726570750_1015186696607629312_n.jpg


whistling that ol' tune
 

Attachments

  • 40778395_10217146726570750_1015186696607629312_n.jpg
    40778395_10217146726570750_1015186696607629312_n.jpg
    48.4 KB · Views: 524
  • Like
Likes Bystander, Stavros Kiri and Ibix
Physics news on Phys.org
  • #4,852
36550985_351370355393629_4369230853960630272_n.jpg
 

Attachments

  • 36550985_351370355393629_4369230853960630272_n.jpg
    36550985_351370355393629_4369230853960630272_n.jpg
    58.8 KB · Views: 467
  • Like
Likes Bystander and Stavros Kiri
  • #4,853
fresh_42 said:
"Dad, I consider a career in organized crime."
"Government or finance?"
It reminds me of a movie with a father who was proud of his son who was studying in Italy; son told him he was specializing in Banks. When the father visited him unexpectedly, to his surprize realized that the son had forgotten to mention "Robbing ..." ...
 
  • #4,854
What did Sancho Panza call his beast of burden?

Donkey Hotay.
 
  • #4,855
davenn said:
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
I doubt this, projecting from the number of things I still seem to learn the hard way in my forties...
 
  • Like
Likes Keith_McClary and davenn
  • #4,856
jtbell said:
What did Sancho Panza call his beast of burden?

Donkey Hotay.
I visited a windmill in York, and they had a poster with a sketch of Quijote on horseback charging a windmill, with a big red circle and diagonal bar over the top...
 
  • Like
Likes BillTre and jack action
  • #4,857
Ibix said:
I visited a windmill in York, and they had a poster with a sketch of Quijote on horseback charging a windmill, with a big red circle and diagonal bar over the top...
Well, I had to see that:

NoTilting.jpg
 

Attachments

  • NoTilting.jpg
    NoTilting.jpg
    51.5 KB · Views: 770
  • Like
Likes BillTre and Ibix
  • #4,858
Oh... York in the UK, not York in Pennsylvania. I'm pretty sure there are no windmills in York, South Carolina, because I drive through there occasionally. :oldwink:

That pun popped into my mind because I've been ripping a big box set of CDs and scanning the album covers, including this one, which ironically doesn't seem to include Sancho Panza. Maybe he's the shadowy figure to the left of the Don.

quixote.jpg
 

Attachments

  • quixote.jpg
    quixote.jpg
    127 KB · Views: 491
Last edited:
  • #4,860
jack action said:
Well, I had to see that:

I see the poster has been doing the rounds of windmill owners everywhere...
 
  • #4,861
Ibix said:
I doubt this, projecting from the number of things I still seem to learn the hard way in my forties...
just wait for another 20 - 30 yrs :wink::wink:
 
  • #4,862
davenn said:
just wait for another 20 - 30 yrs :wink::wink:
...then I'll find out the hard way that I'm wrong? :angel:
 
  • #4,863
New PF feature (with AI , I guess) : every post of mine that remotely resembles a joke is automatically moved to this forum. Just to save time.
 
  • #4,864
WWGD said:
New PF feature (with AI , I guess) : every post of mine that remotely resembles a joke is automatically moved to this forum. Just to save time.
AI? No way, far too many false positive results :biggrin:
 
  • #4,865
Massless particles travel at light speed.
Particles with mass at heavy speed.
 
  • Like
Likes YoungPhysicist
  • #4,866
A guy walks into a ski lodge, accompanied by a pony on skis.

Desk clerk: "Uh, what's up with your friend?"
Guy: "Him? The cold made him a little hoarse. "
 
  • Like
Likes davenn and Ibix
  • #4,867
Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.
 
  • Like
Likes davenn, jtbell, Stavros Kiri and 2 others
  • #4,868
Things you don't hear or say in Balloon World:
At the fast food joint - You want a pop with that?
At school - Today we are having a pop quiz.
Meeting you dad - Hi Pop!
 
  • #4,869
Why did the chicken cross the road?

In some frames of reference the road crossed the chicken.

(The Einstein Reverse - a distant relative of the "in Soviet Russia, chicken crosses you" gag).
 
  • #4,870
A neutrino walked through a bar.
 
  • Like
Likes jim mcnamara, strangerep, Ibix and 1 other person
  • #4,871
Ibix said:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I know a similar one:
Why the chicken didn't cross the road?!
Too many cars and because it's "chicken"! ...
 
  • #4,872
Who was harder to get long with: Euler or Lagrange?

Euler, Lagrange just went with the flow.

(made this joke up when studying for my quals)
 
  • Like
Likes Stavros Kiri
  • #4,873
fresh_42 said:
A neutrino walked through a bar.
So what!?
[if only it was just one ...]
 
  • #4,874
fresh_42 said:
A neutrino walked through a bar.
And told himself: Let's split through the slit (Please pardon tech details, my Physics is pretty rudimentary. EDIT I know it is supposed to be electron, but you take whatever you can get.).
 
Last edited:
  • #4,875
Two pilots p1,p2 trying to land a plane.
P1: We're not going to make it, landingbstrip is too short.
P2: Yes, but it is so wide...
 
  • Like
Likes Stavros Kiri and Ibix
  • #4,876
BBQ 1988: Where's the beer?
BBQ 2018: What's your WLAN password?
 
  • Like
Likes davenn and BillTre
  • #4,877
"Darling, I'm back! I bought grapes."
"Don't they sell this instant-wine anymore?"
 
  • #4,878
fresh_42 said:
BBQ 2018: What's your WLAN password?
My response: What's your MAC address?
 
  • Like
Likes Stavros Kiri
  • #4,879
Two guys are ice fishing, sitting at adjacent holes in the ice. Guy #1 isn't having much luck, but guy #2 is pulling in one fish after another.

Guy #1: OK, what's your secret?
Guy #2: Mmmp mmmr mmmrms mmmrm.
Guy #1: Eh what?
Guy #2: [Turns and spits.] Keep your worms warm.
 
  • Like
Likes Ibix and Stavros Kiri
  • #4,880
Guy is out ice fishing with his son. He opens a can of peas and begins laying them on the ice all around the hole. His son asks why?

"When a fish comes up to take a pea, we get him".

With apologies to Garrison Keilor
 
  • #4,881
That reminds me of a really lame one.

Why did the beauty contestant put peas in a blender?
Because she wanted whirled peas.
 
  • Like
Likes Keith_McClary, CWatters and Ibix
  • #4,882
Peas were one of the few things my son would reliably eat when he was little. He was happily scoffing a plate of them the day he was a year and a half old, so I explained to a friend that it was his eighteen month birthday and we were out on the peas.
 
  • #4,883
Why copper sulfate is blue? that’s because there is water in it’s molecules.
but why is the heart blue? That’s because I am.
 
Last edited:
  • #4,884
Two teenagers comparing their dads.
Teen1 :My dad's a hero
Teen2: He's not a hero, he's a nut.
Teen1 He's a hero, he stormed the beach at Normandy.
Teen2: He's a nut, he did last week. Alone.
 
  • Like
Likes Stavros Kiri
  • #4,885
Young physicist said:
The cat is outdated!
Schrodinger's phone:
View attachment 230144
You can't tell if the screen is intacted or not until you pick it upo_O
I like the phone better. The cat never made sense anyway ... The phone does!
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #4,886
How many pairs of animals are there on Moses’ ark?

None.’cause Moses has no ark.
 
  • #4,887
Young physicist said:
How many pairs of animals are there on Moses’ ark?

None.’cause Moses has no ark.
That's not true. Moses's ark is the ark of the 10 commandments:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ark_of_the_Covenant

Now, pairs of animals though? Nope
 
  • Like
Likes davenn and YoungPhysicist
  • #4,888
It was soooo cold outside...

that hitchhikers held up photos of their thumbs.
 
  • #4,889
jtbell said:
It was soooo cold outside...

that hitchhikers held up photos of their thumbs.
:thumbup:
 
  • Like
Likes Stavros Kiri, Borg, Ibix and 1 other person
  • #4,890
jtbell said:
It was soooo cold outside...

that hitchhikers held up photos of their thumbs.
I start to combine this joke with the fact that the Russians in a town I once visited used a different signal, the one we usually use for "Please slow down! Danger ahead." If it was linked to the average temperature?
 
  • #4,891
jtbell said:
It was soooo cold outside...

that hitchhikers held up photos of their thumbs.
...and brass monkeys were searching for welding equipment?
 
  • Like
Likes WWGD and YoungPhysicist
  • #4,893
Why does the gecko fell from the ceiling?

Because it is clapping it’s hands when it heard a lame joke.
 
  • #4,894
160px-Cleaning_Big_Ben.jpg

Do the people who maintain Big Ben work all round the clock?

Image credit: Phooto at English Wikipedia, CC BY-SA 3.0
 

Attachments

  • 160px-Cleaning_Big_Ben.jpg
    160px-Cleaning_Big_Ben.jpg
    15.5 KB · Views: 638
  • Like
Likes Ibix, davenn, WWGD and 1 other person
  • #4,896
upload_2018-9-26_11-57-26.png
 

Attachments

  • upload_2018-9-26_11-57-26.png
    upload_2018-9-26_11-57-26.png
    55.9 KB · Views: 406
  • Like
Likes Navin, chasrob, WWGD and 1 other person
  • #4,897
upload_2018-9-26_12-1-15.png
 

Attachments

  • upload_2018-9-26_12-1-15.png
    upload_2018-9-26_12-1-15.png
    98.7 KB · Views: 391
  • Like
Likes YoungPhysicist, Navin, jack action and 3 others
  • #4,898
DrGreg said:
Do the people who maintain Big Ben work all round the clock?
It's wound electrically these days, but it used to be a three-man job (two turning the crank, one getting a break) for about six hours once a fortnight. So, seriously, you're not far off...
 
  • #4,899
42460437_502851030212920_2209966681898352640_n.jpg
 

Attachments

  • 42460437_502851030212920_2209966681898352640_n.jpg
    42460437_502851030212920_2209966681898352640_n.jpg
    42.2 KB · Views: 363
  • Like
Likes mfb, jtbell, Ibix and 1 other person
  • #4,900
Schoolboy error. The correct solution is to put the Scotch to one side, get on the bike, fall off, pick up the Scotch and cycle home. Unless you've been drinking, how likely is it that you'll fall off your bike twice in one day?
 
  • Like
Likes davenn and mfb

Similar threads

Replies
428
Views
31K
Replies
57
Views
8K
8
Replies
385
Views
37K
Replies
7
Views
3K
Replies
1
Views
3K
Replies
185
Views
10K
Replies
4K
Views
428K
Back
Top