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Teacher: Where's James today?
Student: He's laying in bed with Angina.
Student: He's laying in bed with Angina.
Collection of Lame Jokes
- Thread starter quddusaliquddus
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SUMMARY
This forum discussion centers around a collection of lame jokes shared by users, showcasing a variety of humor styles. Notable jokes include, "A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, 'Give me some chapstick and put it on my bill,'" and "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." Participants engage in light-hearted banter, with some jokes eliciting groans and laughter alike. The thread emphasizes the enjoyment of humor that is intentionally silly or absurd, appealing to those who appreciate puns and wordplay.
PREREQUISITES- Understanding of basic joke structure and humor types
- Familiarity with puns and wordplay
- Knowledge of cultural references in humor
- Ability to appreciate absurdity in comedic contexts
- Explore the history of puns in literature and comedy
- Research the psychology of humor and why people enjoy lame jokes
- Learn about different styles of comedy, including surrealism and absurdism
- Investigate the role of cultural references in joke-telling
Anyone looking to enhance their comedic repertoire, including aspiring comedians, writers, and individuals interested in the mechanics of humor. This discussion is particularly beneficial for those who enjoy light-hearted, silly jokes and want to understand their appeal.
- #2,882
DrGreg
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Farmer: Please round up my herd of 68 cows.Ibix said:
Farm worker: 70.
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A hiker comes along a meadow where a farmer is milking a cow. He asks the farmer to tell him the time. The farmer stops milking, lifts the udders, takes a close look at them and replies: four o'clock.
The next day the same procedure: the farmer stops milking, lifts the udders, takes a close look and replies: 4.15.
The third day again the same procedure: the farmer stops milking, lifts the udders, takes a close look and replies: 3.50.
Now the hiker cannot hold it anymore. He asks the farmer how in the world he could tell the time by weighing the udders? What is so special with the cow?
Nothing, answers the farmer, but if I lift the udders I can see the clocktower of our church.
The next day the same procedure: the farmer stops milking, lifts the udders, takes a close look and replies: 4.15.
The third day again the same procedure: the farmer stops milking, lifts the udders, takes a close look and replies: 3.50.
Now the hiker cannot hold it anymore. He asks the farmer how in the world he could tell the time by weighing the udders? What is so special with the cow?
Nothing, answers the farmer, but if I lift the udders I can see the clocktower of our church.
- #2,884
Psinter
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Look at this and then click on the source. What do you see? 
Source
(They are the same images, if you don't believe, once in the source page, right click the image and open it in a new tab)
Source
(They are the same images, if you don't believe, once in the source page, right click the image and open it in a new tab)
- #2,885
mfb
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Clever! But I have bad news for you...
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Why is it called a short circuit when it's longer?mfb said:
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In which reference frame / metric?Ibix said:
- #2,889
mfb
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There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.From here, has some more nice puns
- #2,890
Borg
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I really need to find a home for this on my software project at work.mfb said:
- #2,891
Borg
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I'm in a bit of a mood today. 
- #2,892
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I would... walk away from that cat slowly, not turning my back and making no sudden movements.
- #2,893
pixel
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Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food but no atmosphere.
- #2,894
Pepper Mint
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I'm mewing till the firemen come, you ran me over and now want to run away ?Ibix said:
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I've also heard all the drinks were bone-dry.pixel said:
- #2,896
Pepper Mint
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That is resolvable with jelly-like supplement we bring up from Earth though. The hygiene issue there is incredible.fresh_42 said:
- #2,897
mfb
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I wanted to visit it, but the route planner didn't find a way to get there.
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Yes, that's a problem. But I've heard you can visit the franchise on Mars if you use the "allow ferries" option in the setup to manage the Martian canals.mfb said:
- #2,899
jtbell
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What did Balboa's companions say to him when they crossed a ridge in Panama and saw the Pacific Ocean for the first time?
"Isthmus be your lucky day!"
"Isthmus be your lucky day!"
- #2,900
256bits
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Now that is a groaner if there ever was one.jtbell said:
- #2,901
Psinter
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The element of butt:
Arsenic
Minions said:
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A clown was walking down a riverbank when he came upon a nun trapped by rising water in the middle.
"Sister!" he called. "Let me help! I can carry you across this river!"
"Thank you, kind clown, but no!" she called back.
"But, Sister! You're trapped there!"
"Yes, but a nun being carried by a clown? It would be virgin on the ridiculous!"
"Sister!" he called. "Let me help! I can carry you across this river!"
"Thank you, kind clown, but no!" she called back.
"But, Sister! You're trapped there!"
"Yes, but a nun being carried by a clown? It would be virgin on the ridiculous!"
- #2,903
Pepper Mint
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I don't understand. In my area most nuns aren't really virgins anymore.Ibix said:
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Something that is "verging on the ridiculous" is something really silly, on the verge of being outright ridiculous. Substituting "virgin" is a fairly common pun, although usually about Richard Branson's companies.Pepper Mint said:
- #2,905
davenn
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groan ...
https://scontent-lax3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13516160_10154259156641873_4201570270835991443_n.jpg?oh=605f614ef6e495722c6fb1ec38955acd&oe=580985A1
https://scontent-lax3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13516160_10154259156641873_4201570270835991443_n.jpg?oh=605f614ef6e495722c6fb1ec38955acd&oe=580985A1
- #2,906
EnumaElish
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A guy walks up to the library desk. He inquires: "do you have a book on Pavlov's dog and Schrödinger's cat?" Librarian: "it rings a bell, but I am not sure if there's one or not."
- #2,907
Noisy Rhysling
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Google Maps will get you there. Just ask for a route to Sheboygan.mfb said:
- #2,908
Noisy Rhysling
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I hate a big fight with the FSM, but that was years ago, it's all pasta now.davenn said:
- #2,909
Psinter
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Do you know what this is?
What an awesome set of pottery. It would be a shame if someone were to crack them and convert them into...
- #2,910
mfb
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The images don't load, and I think you swapped the order.