Jimmy Snyder
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- 22
According to news reports, the latest cyber attack involves sending cups of coffee to computer users around the world. So far thousands of computers have become infected.
Thy Apathy said:I see that your radar has more to offer than just virus-detection.
/lame
Thy Apathy said:Edit:
Man, talk about a first post. That's my chance of making a good first impression effectively blown off. : D
I think not...DevilsAvocado said:(lame...?)
HarryA said:Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To watch a man lay bricks.
DaveC426913 said:I don't get it.
Ivan Seeking said:Chickens lay eggs.
Men lay bricks.
DaveC426913 said:Ah.[10 char]
DaveC426913 said:Ah.[10 char]
Lancelot59 said:Have you ever seen that silly internet phrase, "When you see it you'll **** bricks."? It's usually used as a caption for pictures with something really strange in the background.
nismaratwork said:What'd you eat for breakfast?
Pea soup.
What'd you eat for lunch?
Pea soup.
What'd you eat for dinner?
Pea soup.
What will you do now?
Pee soup.
Lancelot59 said:Sounds like something out of Monty Python, or some other similar comedy group.
mugaliens said:Two men walked into a bar. One turned to the other and said, "Ow!"
ThomasT said:A blind guy comes into a bar and swings his, small, seeing eye dog in a circle around his head. The bartender says. "What the hell are you doing?" The blind guy says, "Just lookin' around."
Lame?
ThomasT said:A blind guy comes into a bar and swings his, small, seeing eye dog in a circle around his head. The bartender says. "What the hell are you doing?" The blind guy says, "Just lookin' around."
Lame?
nismaratwork said:It is never revealed what the joke is, but it's implied that it's hilarious.
nismaratwork said:Maybe I'm lame, because I think that's actually pretty funny.
mugaliens said:No. Funny! Sick humor, to be sure, but FUNNY, yes.
DaveC426913 said:The BANANA SKETCH!?? AWESOME! Do you use a yellow one? Or a green one?
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DaveC426913 said:Guy walks into the doctor's office. He has a banana up his nose, pasta sauce in his pants and cauliflowers sticking out of his ears.
Doctor says "You're not eating right."
dkotschessaa said:That's one of those ones that's going to make me chuckle quietly to myself all day and make everyone think I'm insane.
-DaveKA
DaveC426913 said:Guy walks into the doctor's office. He has a banana up his nose, pasta sauce in his pants and cauliflowers sticking out of his ears.
Doctor says "You're not eating right."
lol.harrya said:when noah's ark settled on the mountain noah open the doors
and told the animals to go forth an multiply.
A little snake spoke up and said "we can't multiply we are adders!"
so noah thought for a while then he got an idea. Noah built a table
from logs and place the pair of snakes on the table
and then noah told them "now you can multiply".
A man walked into Joe's Barber Shop for his regular haircut. As he snips away, Joe asks "What's up?"
The man proceeds to explain he's taking a vacation to Rome.
"ROME?!" Joe says, "Why would you want to go there? It's a crowded dirty city full of mafiosos! You'd be crazy to go to Rome!... So how you getting there?"
"We're taking TWA" the man replies.
"TWA?!" yells Joe. "They're a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly and they're always late!... So where you staying in Rome?"
The man says "We'll be at the downtown International Marriot."
"That DUMP?!" says Joe. "That's the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly and slow and they're overpriced!... So what are you doing when you get there?"
The man says "We're going to go see the Vatican and hope to see the Pope."
"HA! That's rich!" laughs Joe. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on THIS trip. You're going to need it!"
A month later, the man comes in for his regular haircut.
Joe says, "Well, how did that trip to Rome turn out? Betcha TWA gave you the worst flight of your life!"
"No, quite the opposite" explained the man. "Not only were we on time in one of their brand new planes, but it was full and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful 28 year old flight attendent who waited on me hand and foot!"
"Hmmm," Joe says, "Well, I bet the hotel was just like I described."
"No, quite the opposite! They'd just finished a $25 million remodeling. Its the finest hotel in Rome, now. They were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the presidential suite for no extra charge!
"Well," Joe mumbles, "I KNOW you didn't get to see the Pope!"
"Actually, we were quite lucky. As we toured the Vatican, a Swiss guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained the Pope likes to personally meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into this private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, after 5 minutes the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand. I knelt down as he spoke a few words to me."
Impressed, Joe asks, "Tell me, please! What'd he say?"
"Oh, not much really. Just 'Where'd you get that garbagety haircut?'"
Jimmy Snyder said:A: I'm looking for a woman with brains to match her beauty.
B: How about Jane? She's stupid and ugly.
Jimmy Snyder said:A: I'm looking for a woman with brains to match her beauty.
B: How about Jane? She's stupid and ugly.
That would be my Freckle Faced Consumptive Sarah Jane. She's the butt of many a joke and takes it well.mugaliens said:Funny? Witty, for sure. I hope there's no one here named Jane. If so, I hope she has a wonderful sense of humor!
Jimmy Snyder said:That would be my Freckle Faced Consumptive Sarah Jane. She's the butt of many a joke and takes it well.
She's a female pugalist, gracious Moses what a fist. She'll knock you where you won't come back no more. I wish I could remember all the words, but apparently they are not to be found on the net. I don't know the name of the composer, lyricist, or performer(s). They say that she is crazy but I think she is insane. She's my freckle faced consumptive Sarah Jane. It was adapted from an earlier number called simply Sarah Jane. Some folks say her breath smells sweet, but I would rather smell her feet. There is another variant called My Long Skinny Lanky Sarah Jane but I have no lyrics for it and yet another called My Sarah Jane also with no lyrics that I can find. She is mentioned in the song I'm the Man that Rode the Mule 'Round the World. Here's another version but the performance is rather poor.nismaratwork said:Sounds like a tough old broad!![]()
Jimmy Snyder said:That would be my Freckle Faced Consumptive Sarah Jane. She's the butt of many a joke and takes it well.
Jimmy Snyder said:She's a female pugalist, gracious Moses what a fist. She'll knock you where you won't come back no more. I wish I could remember all the words, but apparently they are not to be found on the net. I don't know the name of the composer, lyricist, or performer(s). They say that she is crazy but I think she is insane. She's my freckle faced consumptive Sarah Jane. It was adapted from an earlier number called simply Sarah Jane. Some folks say her breath smells sweet, but I would rather smell her feet. There is another variant called My Long Skinny Lanky Sarah Jane but I have no lyrics for it and yet another called My Sarah Jane also with no lyrics that I can find. She is mentioned in the song I'm the Man that Rode the Mule 'Round the World. Here's another version but the performance is rather poor.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDSk9ynGaDU
Yes, but I don't see the connection.nismaratwork said:Are you familiar with the 'Strip Polka' performed by The Andrews Sisters? Heh... Queenie.
Jimmy Snyder said:Yes, but I don't see the connection.
nismaratwork said:None, it's purely tangential and whimsical.