Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #2,011
Lancelot59 said:
HA! I get it...

Uh oh, this is not a good sign!

You know what happens to racist drivers, right?
 
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  • #2,012
Ivan Seeking said:
Uh oh, this is not a good sign!

You know what happens to racist drivers, right?

They get speeding tickets, if they're doing it wrong.
 
  • #2,013
Name six animals which live in Arctic?
...2 polar bears and 4 seals!
 
  • #2,014
Lancelot59 said:
They get speeding tickets, if they're doing it wrong.

They get chased by a car of mixed race - a black and white.
 
  • #2,015
Ivan Seeking said:
They get chased by a car of mixed race - a black and white.

That joke doesn't work for me. RCMP cars are white.
 
  • #2,016
Lancelot59 said:
RCMP cars are white.

Racist!
 
  • #2,017
Have you ever heard the old engineering tune...

Rho, rho, rho your boat...
 
  • #2,018
Ivan Seeking said:
Have you ever heard the old engineering tune...

Rho, rho, rho your boat...
:smile::smile::smile:
 
  • #2,019
I remember "Row, row, row your boat" being proposed as a new Cuban anthem.
 
  • #2,020
Borek said:
I remember "Row, row, row your boat" being proposed as a new Cuban anthem.

Yes, but the problem was that they didn't always rho their boats.
 
  • #2,021
Ivan Seeking said:
Yes, but the problem was that they didn't always rho their boats.
And often, they rued their boats.
 
  • #2,022
I went out for crew with the Iota Rho Beta frat.
 
  • #2,023
Hmmm, Kim Jong Il died. I didn't know he was Il.
 
  • #2,024
Ivan Seeking said:
Hmmm, Kim Jong Il died. I didn't know he was Il.

He was Il his entire life but i am not sure if he was ever Ill:biggrin: get it?
 
  • #2,025
FizixFreak said:
He was Il his entire life but i am not sure if he was ever Ill:biggrin: get it?


I think he got it, yeah. Did you?
 
  • #2,026
Junior told me end of the world is a movable feast.
 
  • #2,027
My wife gave me Christmas magnets, for Christmas. I didn't understand what made them Christmas magnets until I realized that I can't stick them together - they only have a North Pole.
 
  • #2,028
Ivan Seeking said:
My wife gave me Christmas magnets, for Christmas. I didn't understand what made them Christmas magnets until I realized that I can't stick them together - they only have a North Pole.

Hahaha...
 
  • #2,029
Ivan Seeking said:
My wife gave me Christmas magnets, for Christmas. I didn't understand what made them Christmas magnets until I realized that I can't stick them together - they only have a North Pole.
el oh el
 
  • #2,030
HeLiXe said:
el oh el

During this holiday season, no els please.
 
  • #2,031
[Well I assumed that someone would finish the joke for me]

... so it should be "oh, oh, oh"
 
  • #2,033
Chicken Surprise

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the 'Chicken Surprise', The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.

Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly, and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

'Good grief, did you see that?' she asks her husband.

He hadn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down..rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.

'Please sir,' says the waiter, 'what you order?' The husband replies, 'Chicken Surprise.'

'Ah! So sorry,' says the waiter, 'I bring you Peeking Duck!'
 
  • #2,034
Gauss taught Sherlock Holmes to solve linear equations. "Eliminatory, my dear Holmes," he explained.
 
  • #2,035
QuarkCharmer said:
Gauss taught Sherlock Holmes to solve linear equations. "Eliminatory, my dear Holmes," he explained.

He must have misunderstood, because that's not how he explained it to Watson.
 
  • #2,036
imp said:
chicken surprise

a couple go for a meal at a chinese restaurant and order the 'chicken surprise', the waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.

Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly, and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

'good grief, did you see that?' she asks her husband.

He hadn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down..rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.

'please sir,' says the waiter, 'what you order?' the husband replies, 'chicken surprise.'

'ah! So sorry,' says the waiter, 'i bring you peeking duck!'
lol!
 
  • #2,037
No matter how much you push the envelope, it will remain stationery.
 
  • #2,038
IMP said:
No matter how much you push the envelope, it will remain stationery.

So poke a hole in it instead?
 
  • #2,039
There was a hail storm, and the body shop was crowded with people wanting the dings taken out of their cars. A blond was having trouble understanding what the counter person was saying, and he got exasperated, and told her to just go home, and blow in the tail pipe really hard until all the dings pop back out.


A while later her other blond friend comes over, and sees her blowing really hard on the tail pipe over and over again...and asks what she's doing.

She explains, and the other blond walks around the car, thinking, and finally exclaims "You IDIOT! You have to roll up the windows first!"
 
  • #2,040
A blind guy at the bar says, "hey, I have this great blond joke..."

One of the guys at the bar stops him, and says, "Wait, just so you know, I'm blond, and a 5th degree blackbelt, Sven there is blond, and is a professional boxer, and Oleg there is blond, and a pro wrestler...none of us is less than 6' 5" tall, and all of us are built like body builders...are you SURE you want to tell a blond joke?"

And the blind guys listens, and says, well, I guess not under the circumstances, I'd hate to have to explain it three times.
 

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