Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #4,951
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  • #4,952
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  • #4,953
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  • #4,954
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  • #4,955

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  • #4,956
I had an oven that needed the simultaneous press of three buttons to change the time. Afterwards you had a single rotating knob that was ...well... correlated with time changes (but certainly not linear).
 
  • #4,957
fresh_42 said:
Pretty much my strategy ... although ... adjusting the car clock once saved me a ticket for speeding.

View attachment 233000
https://www.facebook.com/madsciencenw
I seem to recall that Windows 95 would automatically reset the clock for daylight savings time. If you left your computer on overnight it did it at 2am, resetting to 1am. Guess what happened an hour later.
 
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  • #4,958
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  • #4,959
Ibix said:
Guess what happened an hour later.
Nothing special?
I don't find any mention of a problem with DST for Windows 95 - apart from being stuck at the rules of 1995.
 
  • #4,960
mfb said:
Nothing special?
I don't find any mention of a problem with DST for Windows 95 - apart from being stuck at the rules of 1995.
Windows 95 (and 98, I think) prompted you to confirm the time change. From what I recall, it didn't consider the switch made until the confirmation box had been dismissed, which obviously didn't always happen if the system was on at 2am.

I recall discussing this with friends at the time, but I can't find any reference online either. Maybe it was an urban myth.
 
  • #4,961
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  • #4,962
Hurkyl said:
Did you hear the one about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend?
Hey this is funny...at least i find it so.
 
  • #4,963
What did the vampire say a when he couldn't dye his hair?
"I suck at dying"
 
  • #4,964
  • #4,965
DaveC426913 said:
36+ inches:
Canadians start wearing socks.
In here socks are like tree rings, allowing you to tell how old someone is. Older people wear them above the knees...
 
  • #4,966
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  • #4,967
Ibix said:
Windows 95 (and 98, I think) prompted you to confirm the time change. From what I recall, it didn't consider the switch made until the confirmation box had been dismissed, which obviously didn't always happen if the system was on at 2am.

I recall discussing this with friends at the time, but I can't find any reference online either. Maybe it was an urban myth.
I am still using win98 and it's the other way around. First it makes the change and then it asks you if it's correct. You have to confirm the change or change the time manually to whichever time you like, or the OS won't boot.
 
  • #4,968
Those involved in any form of customer service/sales will relate to this ...

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  • #4,969
Why are sheepdogs not very accurate?

They're always rounding things up.
 
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  • #4,970
ohhh dear ! :rolleyes:

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  • #4,971
How many hands does it take to change a light bulb?

Many.

Many hands make light work.
 
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  • #4,972
DrGreg said:
Why are sheepdogs not very accurate?

They're always rounding things up.
Why do engineers prefer squares over circles? Because they are not rounded.
 
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  • #4,973
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  • #4,975
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  • #4,976
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  • #4,977


:DD
 
  • #4,978
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  • #4,979
Sharing that time of the year with our American friends :biggrin:hahaha
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  • #4,980
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  • #4,982
I saw it on another forum but now I remember seeing your post. So much for my ability to remember... :oldeyes:
 
  • #4,983
Borg said:
So much for my ability to remember... :oldeyes:
Twenty lashes with a soggy noodle.:wink:
 
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  • #4,984
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  • #4,985
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  • #4,986
*WARNING - NAUGHTINESS*

"Chief Running Bear, how do we get our names?"

"Well, little one, when we are born, our mother opens up the tent flap to peer outside, and we are named after the first thing she sees. So it was with your sister, Prancing Horse, your brother Sitting Mink your mother Pouncing Lynx and her mother before her, Swooping Hawk. It's a good question - but why do you ask, Sh*tting Dog?"
 
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  • #4,987
This morning it's soooo cold in New York City that...

the Spider-Man balloon in the Thanksgiving Day parade is wearing two layers of costumes.
 
  • #4,988
Wow! There was a kidnapping at my son's school today. But it was ok - he woke up.
 
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  • #4,989
Who invented the round table?
Sir Cumference.
 
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  • #4,990
fresh_42 said:
Who invented the round table?
Sir Cumference.
Its area is ##\pi(\mathrm{Arthur})^2##
 
Last edited:
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  • #4,991
Ibix said:
Its area is ##\pi(\mathrm{Arthur})^2##
Arthur and his knights were, of course, searching for the Non-Simply Connected Grail.
 
  • #4,992
Ibix said:
Its area is ##\pi(\mathrm{Arthur})^2##
You launch a lot of assumptions here! Smells as if there is myrrh in somehow. But maybe I'm in more glens than fair.
 
  • #4,994
What kind of vehicle does a podiatrist drive to work?

A toe truck.
 
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  • #4,995
Haha, just for grins I did a Google search and came up with this:

 
  • #4,996
jtbell said:
What kind of vehicle does a podiatrist drive to work?

A toe truck.
And a tree surgeon?

Stick shift.

Contract killers prefer automatics
 
  • #4,997
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  • #4,998
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  • #4,999
one for my fellow Monty Python fans

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  • #5,000
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