- #5,761
- 20,783
- 28,301
Collection of Lame Jokes
- Thread starter quddusaliquddus
- Start date
-
- Tags
- Jokes
Click For Summary
The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
- #5,762
Ibix
Science Advisor
- 13,423
- 15,973
True story: back when my wife and I were just dating I impulse-purchased some carnations in a local supermarket on my way over to her place one day. It was a cold grey day and it was starting to rain - so I was slightly surprised when another guy, wearing a rather wet tshirt and no coat and with a slightly wild-eyed expression, skidded to a stop in front of me and asked where I'd bought the roses. I pointed out that they were carnations and gave him directions to the supermarket. I must admit that "what did he do and how angry is she" was exactly what I was wondering.fresh_42 said:
- #5,763
- 20,783
- 28,301
What amazes me with those stories and the picture above: They work on a global level and everyone (male?!) immediately understands them. No cultural, religious or race distinctions, only a silent agreement which doesn't need any explanation.Ibix said:
- #5,764
strangerep
Science Advisor
- 3,766
- 2,213
fresh_42 said:
Sheldon Cooper's Jamaican Postman said:
- #5,765
Mark44
Mentor
- 38,048
- 10,543
It's the French equivalent of Latin Juno, which we in the US pronouce it like June' -o, with accent on the first syllable.davenn said:
There's a town on Vancouver Island, BC, called Esquimault -- you'd never guess how the Canadians pronounce it...
The word is of French origin, due to the influence of French fur trappers 150 or so years back, but that's no help in knowing how to say this word.
- #5,766
mfb
Mentor
- 37,391
- 14,222
- #5,767
jim mcnamara
Mentor
- 4,789
- 3,852
At last, a decently awful Geology pun:
What is the highest from of flattery?
What is the highest from of flattery?
A mesa
- #5,768
davenn
Science Advisor
Gold Member
2024 Award
- 9,705
- 11,623
- #5,769
- 20,783
- 28,301
- #5,770
- 20,783
- 28,301
"Do you know why I pulled you over?"
"If you forgot, I won't remind you!"
"If you forgot, I won't remind you!"
- #5,771
256bits
Gold Member
- 4,090
- 2,132
Sure fire way to get arrested for obstruction of justice.fresh_42 said:
- #5,772
- 20,783
- 28,301
Q: Why do bees only have a queen?
A: If they had a government, too, they wouldn't have enough honey for the rest.
A: If they had a government, too, they wouldn't have enough honey for the rest.
- #5,773
Ibix
Science Advisor
- 13,423
- 15,973
They have a Sting, too. So possibly The Police.fresh_42 said:
- #5,774
- 20,783
- 28,301
It's getting hot here, and tomorrow will even be hotter, 'cause that one took a while!Ibix said:
- #5,775
davenn
Science Advisor
Gold Member
2024 Award
- 9,705
- 11,623
- #5,776
davenn
Science Advisor
Gold Member
2024 Award
- 9,705
- 11,623
- #5,777
davenn
Science Advisor
Gold Member
2024 Award
- 9,705
- 11,623
I think these guys have had one to many beers. 
- #5,778
strangerep
Science Advisor
- 3,766
- 2,213
Imagine the taste when that guy puts those falsies back in his mouth! 
I guess he's the kind of guy who likes to go,... er,... downtown.
I guess he's the kind of guy who likes to go,... er,... downtown.
- #5,779
WWGD
Science Advisor
Homework Helper
- 7,742
- 12,921
4/3 of the people cannot do basic Arithmetic or Statistics...
- #5,780
WWGD
Science Advisor
Homework Helper
- 7,742
- 12,921
Jeffree is now officially Jef +$9.95 for Shipping and Handling.
- #5,781
Ibix
Science Advisor
- 13,423
- 15,973
93% of statistics are made up on the spot[1].WWGD said:
[1] Ibix, https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/collection-of-lame-jokes.25301/post-6188344, retrieved 3rd June 2019.
- #5,782
WWGD
Science Advisor
Homework Helper
- 7,742
- 12,921
How about the other 10%?Ibix said:
- #5,783
- 20,783
- 28,301
Are normal disputed.WWGD said:
- #5,784
Ibix
Science Advisor
- 13,423
- 15,973
Lies and damned lies, I believe.WWGD said:
- #5,785
jtbell
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Homework Helper
- 16,029
- 7,745
What did the grape do when someone stepped on it?
It let out a little wine.
It let out a little wine.
- #5,786
DrGreg
Science Advisor
Gold Member
- 2,479
- 2,219
Why was the grape on the floor?jtbell said:
The Grape Escape
- #5,787
davenn
Science Advisor
Gold Member
2024 Award
- 9,705
- 11,623
Speaking of wine...jtbell said:
There's an old Australian joke...
What is an Aussie girls favourite wine ?
"When are we going home?"
- #5,788
DrClaude
Mentor
- 8,477
- 5,694
There are three kinds of people, those who can count and those who can't.WWGD said:
- #5,789
- 20,783
- 28,301
- #5,790
mfb
Mentor
- 37,391
- 14,222
There are 10 kinds of people, those who count in binary and those who don't.DrClaude said: