Collection of Lame Jokes

  • Thread starter Thread starter quddusaliquddus
  • Start date Start date
  • Tags Tags
    Jokes
AI Thread Summary
The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #7,801
Ibix said:
I've just finished writing my book on penguins! In hindsight, it would probably have been easier to write it on paper.
So that's why they're called Penguin Books!
 
Physics news on Phys.org
  • #7,802
What's the difference between a bird and a fly?

A bird can fly but a fly can't bird.
 
  • Like
Likes Mark44 and BillTre
  • #7,803
Time flies like an arrow,
fruit flies like a banana.
 
  • Like
Likes jack action and Ibix
  • #7,804
See: https://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/05/04/time-flies-arrow/
QI has traced the core of the quotation to the work of an early researcher in artificial intelligence, Anthony Oettinger, who was trying to get a computer to manipulate the English language. In the magazine Scientific American in 1966, Oettinger describes a computer program that takes sentences as input and attempts to determine which words are acting as verbs, nouns, adjectives, and adverbs, etcetera [OET]. The example input he uses is “Time flies like an arrow”, but the task is complicated because the computer program must also work properly for sentences such as “Fruit flies like a banana” and “Time runners with a stop-watch”. Here is what he says: ...
 
  • Like
  • Informative
Likes mfb, BillTre and Ibix
  • #7,805
If2E_swvPjh6GpyzUMzLUjkCb8w&_nc_ht=scontent-ham3-1.jpg
 
  • Like
Likes Ibix, 256bits and BillTre
  • #7,806
What do Europeans call women who act out the "Karen" meme?
American
 
  • #7,807
Would you even notice if a fly gave you the bird?
It has such so tiny fingers.
 
  • #7,808
main-qimg-0572b7d4da0a948df210c95dbedd4118.jpeg
 
  • #7,809
main-qimg-6689d7ee342ad1bfc9bb602f8f5fbcf9.jpeg
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Likes etotheipi, jack action and Wrichik Basu
  • #7,810
1594002718422.png
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes jack action, Ibix, WWGD and 1 other person
  • #7,812
main-qimg-384aeaaf294f04cea9d747c59652ae93.jpeg
 
  • #7,813
main-qimg-00ac9ba7286337d08464d87db2e824ab.jpeg
 
  • Like
Likes etotheipi, Keith_McClary, DrGreg and 2 others
  • #7,814
Do you know the difference between a UFO and a bad driver? (Turn your phone around or see the spoiler)

ufo.jpg


bad-driver.jpg
 
  • Like
  • Love
Likes AlexB23, Filip Larsen, 256bits and 6 others
  • #7,815
That's brilliant! There are a few clues that the image is upside down, but it's amazingly misleading. Well done to whoever saw the possibility in that shot...
 
  • Like
Likes BillTre and Wrichik Basu
  • #7,816
wcOwFk2MydhTGaPyPeCeY8ed1f4&_nc_ht=scontent-dus1-1.jpg
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Likes Borg and BillTre
  • #7,817
main-qimg-1095822f668417e7248fd5d882fbd47f.jpeg
 
  • Like
Likes Ibix and 256bits
  • #7,818
main-qimg-9206c1d66d09f8405c00821f24d2ba0f.jpeg
 
  • #7,819
An old classic: what do you get if you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia.
 
  • Like
Likes 256bits, jack action and BillTre
  • #7,820
Why should you always tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?

You don't want to wake the sleeping pills.
 
  • Like
Likes 256bits, Wrichik Basu, etotheipi and 2 others
  • #7,821
A Yorkshireman goes into a comic shop and says "I'm looking for the latest edition of that comic about the Belgian detective boy, but I can't remember his name."

"Tintin," says the shopkeeper.

"Never mind," says the customer. "I'll try again next week."
 
  • #7,822
How do you make fruit punch?

Teach it boxing.
 
  • #7,823
Check your clocks every day, and keep them well nourished.
If they are hungry, they go back for seconds.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes BillTre, Keith_McClary, jack action and 1 other person
  • #7,824
Year 2020 wanted to make a name for itself, and it has accomplished that goal.
Just by the look of things so far, it will be remembered.

All the other wise knowing years are quietly mumbling about this whippersnapper of a year, your days are numbered.
 
  • #7,825
256bits said:
Year 2020 wanted to make a name for itself, and it has accomplished that goal.
Just by the look of things so far, it will be remembered.
I feel I ought to make some sort of joke about 2020 vision. But I can't see it.
 
  • Like
Likes jack action, Ibix and 256bits
  • #7,826
DrGreg said:
I feel I ought to make some sort of joke about 2020 vision. But I can't see it.
Wait until 2021 - then you'll have 2020 hindsight.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes atyy, BillTre, phinds and 2 others
  • #7,828
Life began in a cell.
Sometimes,
it ends in it, as well.
 
  • #7,829
main-qimg-322fd13efde96f7535e713b380a89c43.jpeg
 
  • Like
Likes phinds, collinsmark, etotheipi and 5 others
  • #7,830
It was a surprise. 2020 started of without a problem and then, right off the bat, Covid showed up.
 
  • Haha
Likes Keith_McClary
  • #7,831
What nocturnal creature has a cry that sounds like "A... B... C..."?

The alphabat.
 
  • Like
Likes collinsmark and BillTre
  • #7,832
Ibix said:
What nocturnal creature has a cry that sounds like "A... B... C..."?

The alphabat.
And I thought it was this:

tomgetriebenes-unterseeboot-d-wiedergabe-147189826.jpg
 
  • #7,833
A yellow submarine? Are they known for saying the alphabet?
 
  • #7,834
Ibix said:
A yellow submarine? Are they known for saying the alphabet?
Confused the track, but at least the album was correct.
 
  • #7,835
fresh_42 said:
Confused the track, but at least the album was correct.
It's from Revolver, I believe. I only know Yellow Submarine and Eleanor Rigby from that one, as far as I'm aware.
 
  • #7,836
The spread of COVID-19 is based on two factors:
1. How dense the population is
2. How dense the population is
 
  • Like
Likes collinsmark, WWGD and fresh_42
  • #7,837
main-qimg-f91d640ed5890d0239dfe344452b9888.jpeg
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes jack action, collinsmark, Wrichik Basu and 2 others
  • #7,838
main-qimg-78292b3395b8a7854cb22e0136854308.jpeg
 
  • #7,839
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes phinds and BillTre
  • #7,840
gmax137 said:
those look more like English beatles to me.
But there are five!? ;)
 
  • #7,841
WWGD said:
But there are five!? ;)
Pete Best.
 
  • #7,842
fresh_42 said:
Pete Best.
No, I think Paul Best.
 
  • Like
Likes Vanadium 50
  • #7,843
People who don't know the difference between entomology and etymology
bug me in ways I cannot put into words.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Informative
Likes Wrichik Basu, Filip Larsen, Ibix and 5 others
  • #7,844
Does an oncologist become an ornithologist if he shows someone the bird?
 
  • #7,845
Just found on the German Wikipedia:
The ontology (in the 16th century as a Greek ontologia formed from ancient Greek ὄν ón 'being' and λόγος lógos 'science', i.e. 'science of being') is a discipline of (theoretical) philosophy that ...

Uhm, uhm, what the heck is theoretical philosophy? Do they have an experimental philosophy?
 
  • Like
Likes 256bits and phinds
  • #7,846
I dunno. Check it out.
On the cover - "Discover how to apply ancient wisdom to your life"
That sounds like there must be a practical and an applied philosophy as well.
Philosophy-for-Dummies
 
  • #7,847
fresh_42 said:
Does an oncologist become an ornithologist if he shows someone the bird?
British jazz player Humphrey Lyttelton told a story of how a radio interviewer once asked him "I hear you're a bit of an orthinologist?" [sic]

On his way home he thought of the reply he ought to have given: "Not so much an orthinologist, more of a word-botcher."
 
  • Like
Likes fresh_42, etotheipi and Ibix
  • #7,848
fresh_42 said:
Do they have an experimental philosophy?
I am, therefore I experiment.
 
  • #7,849
fresh_42 said:
Just found on the German Wikipedia:Uhm, uhm, what the heck is theoretical philosophy? Do they have an experimental philosophy?
I can't confirm with the German version, but in the English version of Wikipedia, all articles end in philosophy.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/wikipedia-philosophy_n_1093460
 

Similar threads

Replies
433
Views
31K
Replies
57
Views
8K
8
Replies
386
Views
37K
Replies
7
Views
3K
Replies
1
Views
3K
Replies
185
Views
10K
Replies
4K
Views
428K
Back
Top