Collection of Lame Jokes

[Frisbee]

The second guy in that picture looks like a Linux user :

View attachment 282718

As a Ubuntu fanboy user, the actual steps are more like:
Step I. Take a look at Ask Ubuntu and apply the most suitable answer
Step II. Problem solved

 

[Frisbee]

 

[Frigus]

If you are born single it's not your mistake but if you die single it's your mistake.

 

[jack action]

I saw an ad that said: «Radio on sale, 2$, volume stuck on full.»

I thought, "I can't turn that down."

 

[WWGD]

" I don't want a vaccine, I don't want harmful things in my body"

 

[Ibix]

" I don't want a vaccine, I don't want harmful things in my body"

A slightly closer translation would be "I won't be vaccinated, I won't let them put harmful things in my body", which brings out the full anti-vaxx conspiracy theory nuttiness that's being lampooned.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

This should not be in the joke section but in the animal lovers section.

Maybe a new Intersection of sections section?

 

[WWGD]

 

[Wrichik Basu]

 

[BigDon]

Why did the motorcycle fall over?

Because it was too tired.

 

[wrobel]

View attachment 282817

the most funny thing in this joke is that if one replaces the first part with "...there is no invisible man..." then it results another joke

 

[BigDon]

If you are born single it's not your mistake but if you die single it's your mistake.

On the other hand dying in large groups isn't all that great either...

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[phinds]

 

[DaveC426913]

View attachment 282828

It took me a couple of moments to realize what the punchline was.

 

[phinds]

It took me a couple of moments to realize what the punchline was.

Yeah, I missed it for a beat or two myself.

 

[strangerep]

It took me a couple of moments to realize what the punchline was.

#MeToo.

(Uh-oh, now I'll get in trouble for hijacking that hashtag.)

 

[berkeman]

The last few posts have been reviewed by the Mentors, and we're letting them slide for now...

 

[nuuskur]

View attachment 282828

Aaaah, that cracked me up :D

ontopic:
Every nut is a coconut.

It is known that a mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. Equivalently, a comathematician is one for turning cotheorems into ffee.

 

[phinds]

I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink. Turns out it was the refrigerator.

 

[BigDon]

He: Do you like Kipling?

She: I don't know. I've never Kippled...

 

[Ibix]

She: I don't know. I've never Kippled...

I have. It's ruddy 'ard.

 

[BigDon]

I almost hit "report" by mistake.

 

[DrGreg]

I have. It's ruddy 'ard.

But exceedingly good.

(Apologies to readers outside the UK who probably have no idea what that joke is.)

 

[BillTre]

 

[nuuskur]

 

[DaveC426913]

View attachment 282851

I don't get it.

 

[phinds]

I don't get it.

Really? It's an obvious homophobic slur. Apparently Nusskur felt the need to practice his intolerance.

 

[BillTre]

Some wine guy reviews Everclear!
Kinda funny in a stupid way:

 

[BillTre]

Reminiscent of some politicians?

 

[DaveC426913]

Really? It's an obvious homophobic slur. Apparently Nusskur felt the need to practice his intolerance.

OK. That's super-duper oblique.

But I guess Jack, Berkeman and BillTre are more in-tune than I am.

 

[berkeman]

I didn't view it as homophobic (although I guess I can see that angle now), and being a motorcyclist, I did find it funny.

 

[DaveC426913]

I didn't view it as homophobic (although I guess I can see that angle now), and being a motorcyclist, I did find it funny.

Ah OK, I see it now.
It's an asking a groaning football player* if he got hit in the vagina kind of thing.

*^male

 

[jack action]

OK. That's super-duper oblique.

But I guess Jack, Berkeman and BillTre are more in-tune than I am.

I took it along the lines of a joke I like very much in presence of a macho man that shows me his bike (or anything else):

Biker: "Do you like my new bike?"

Me: "Very much. Do they make it for men too?"

The expression of the biker's face is always memorable! (I have the chance of being very big and tall, thus I never need to run away.)

 

[jack action]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[berkeman]

View attachment 282864

LOL, reminds me of some PM conversations I've had as a Mentor...

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 282867

LOL, reminds me of some PM conversations I've had as a Mentor...

I'm sure they would be charmed by your analogy.

 

[berkeman]

I'm sure they would be charmed by your analogy.

Sorry, I didn't mean to be pejorative about PF members. The vast majority of my PM conversations have been good. But as with all Mentors (and probably some regular members), there are times when a PM conversation takes a turn that you did not see coming. I'd post a few examples, but the new PF software doesn't keep information archived for very long...

 

[WWGD]

Sorry, I didn't mean to be pejorative about PF members. The vast majority of my PM conversations have been good. But as with all Mentors (and probably some regular members), there are times when a PM conversation takes a turn that you did not see coming. I'd post a few examples, but the new PF software doesn't keep information archived for very long...

Just kidding, Berke, I cannot begin to have the patience you display.

 

[WWGD]

 

[strangerep]

View attachment 282865

It's nice to see that some goddesses like hobbits.

 

[nuuskur]

Heh, I don't ride a motorbike, either. I still found the joke hysterical. No need to get carried away with woke thematics.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]