Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #11,731
fresh_42 said:
That's because baby elephants cannot climb trees and poles, yet.
But they can take residues around poles. Or maybe around germans too?
 
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  • #11,733
1642635232674.png
 
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Likes nuuskur, Ibix, Borg and 3 others
  • #11,734
Cat posts on facebook.jpg
 
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Likes Hamiltonian, Ibix, berkeman and 1 other person
  • #11,735
why did the anode not attend 2020 reunion party?
it was positive
 
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Likes Hamiltonian and DennisN
  • #11,736
Ibix said:
Did you know that Norwegian warships have barcodes? It's because dey Scandinavian.
If they ever get into the Baltic Sea, they'll be Finnished off.
 
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Likes Hamiltonian, Ibix, DennisN and 1 other person
  • #11,739
If I cut the pie in 3 equal pieces with a knife, each one is 0.333 of the pie. 3(0.333) =.999 .
Where's the rest of the pie?
A: It's stuck in the knife.
 
  • #11,740
jtbell said:
If they ever get into the Baltic Sea, they'll be Finnished off.
Yeah, that Finnish admiral is a tough customer. Any enemy ships get close to his country and Helsinki dem.
 
  • #11,741
WWGD said:
If I cut the pie in 3 equal pieces with a knife, each one is 0.333 of the pie. 3(0.333) =.999 .
Where's the rest of the pie?
A: It's stuck in the knife.
Assuming this is a circular pie, it's a rounding error.
 
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  • #11,742
WWGD said:
If I cut the pie in 3 equal pieces with a knife, each one is 0.333 of the pie. 3(0.333) =.999 .
Where's the rest of the pie?
A: It's stuck in the knife.
Your premise is incorrect. To divide a circular pie in 3 equal pieces, each piece must be 120° or two-thirds pie. You're off by a factor of two.
 
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Likes mfb, WWGD and Ibix
  • #11,743
Once upon a time, a group of diplomats from various European countries were flying over the Atlantic to a conference in New York.

They heard a loud "bang", followed by an announcement from the pilot. The plane was leaking fuel, and would not be able to reach land unless one of them jumped out to reduce weight.

The British diplomat stood up, shouted "God save the Queen!" and jumped out the hatch.

A bit later, the pilot reported that the fuel loss rate had increased, and another person would have to jump out.

The Soviet diplomat stood up, shouted, "Long live Comrade Brezhnev!" and jumped out the hatch.

A bit later, the pilot reported... well, you can guess.

The Dane, the Norwegian, the Icelander, and the Finn all stood up together, shouted in unison, "Long live Nordic cooperation!", picked up the Swede, and threw him out the hatch.
 
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Likes mfb, BillTre and DrClaude
  • #11,744
Who doesn't recognize the type:
Screenshot_2022-01-21-12-45-04~2.png
 
  • #11,745
03%2Fdozen-mask-.jpg%3Ffm%3Dpjpg%26ixlib%3Dphp-3.3.jpg
 
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Likes Hamiltonian and frost_zero
  • #11,746
WWGD said:
Who doesn't recognize the type:View attachment 295809
Yup. Friend of a friend. Was an ACKtually Guy before it was a thing.
 
  • #11,747
Screen Shot 2022-01-21 at 2.54.27 AM.png
 
  • #11,748
Screen Shot 2022-01-21 at 2.52.02 AM.png
 
  • #11,749
  • #11,750
frost_zero said:
Ackchyually I don't ;-;
Fixed it for you. :wink:
 
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Likes DaveC426913, WWGD and BillTre
  • #11,752
  • #11,755
WWGD said:
Somewhat-related, it seems Kiss put out in the 20th Century, a song called '2000 man', intended to describe someone ahead of their time. It takes a sort of bizarre different meaning now in 2022.
I don't know about Kiss, but the Rolling Stones had the first 2000 Man.
 
  • #11,756
Ackychually, to be pacific, for all intensive purposes, we need hydroscopic materials.
Actually, to be specific, for all intents and purposes, we need hygroscopic materials.
 
  • #11,757
Baluncore said:
Ackychually, to be pacific, for all intensive purposes, we need hydroscopic materials.
Actually, to be specific, for all intents and purposes, we need hygroscopic materials.
Supposably, yes.
 
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Likes berkeman and Baluncore
  • #11,758
DaveC426913 said:
Supposably, yes.
You need to axe the questen.
 
  • #11,759
Hornbein said:
I don't know about Kiss, but the Rolling Stones had the first 2000 Man.
Yep, Kiss made a remake of the Rolling Stones song on the Dynasty album. You can even compare both here. (Boy, there is really everything on the Internet)
 
  • #11,760
jack action said:
Yep, Kiss made a remake of the Rolling Stones song on the Dynasty album. You can even compare both here. (Boy, there is really everything on the Internet)
I prefer the KISS version by far. I heard Ace Frehley(sp) and his brother I.P participated in the song.
 
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