Collection of Lame Jokes

[Orodruin]

Mine say 'Muy Caliente'...

Why put warm food in the fridge?

 

[Gifovaco]

Why put warm food in the fridge?

Take a 'lil piece of my heart now baby...Capsicum makes you feel good.... hehe haha hoho off we go.. :)

 

[Orodruin]

Capsicum

That is picante

 

[Gifovaco]

That is picante

My bad.. I meant Oleoresin of Capsicum.. a little dab will do you... But makes great wings :)

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Orodruin]

View attachment 347011​

This reminds me of a story a professor who taught me experimental subatomic physics during undergrad told.

Being in a cyclotron laboratory, they used to have an elderly woman calling them at regular intervals asking them if they were running that "infernal machine" again because her joints were aching. Finally they took to answering:
- Yes, Mrs Andersson, we are so sorry for the inconvenience. We are turning it down now ... There, does that feel better?
- Yes, much better thank you. Take a bit more care with that now.
- Of course Mrs Andersson, just call us back if we overdo it again. You have a nice weekend now.

Obviously, many times the cyclotron was not operating when these phone calls occurred ...

 

[Gifovaco]

Lamest joke you know ...

A blonde joins a Mexican cartel....
The cartel sends her to Colombia to get Coke and she brings Pepsi....

 

[BillTre]

NASA's dad joke:

 

[Gifovaco]

NASA's dad joke:

View attachment 347030

Oh God no....

Wrong button

 

[Ibix]

Obviously, many times the cyclotron was not operating when these phone calls occurred ...

It was still operating in placebo mode, it would seem.

Emitting placebons?

 

[davenn]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[fresh_42]

Sign in front of a British pub:

 

[fresh_42]

Some will understand (I only know for sure that Italians and Germans will):

 

[DennisN]

Some will understand (I only know for sure that Italians and Germans will):

That animated comics was popular in Sweden too.
I think it was an ingenious creation, very minimalistic but very funny .

 

[DennisN]

That animated comics was popular in Sweden too.
I think it was an ingenious creation, very minimalistic but very funny .

For those who don't know about it was called La Linea.

An example here:

 

[dwarde]

 

[Gifovaco]

View attachment 347060

I plead 'String Theory'... I am ..'strung out' .... haha

 

[fresh_42]

I plead 'String Theory'... I am ..'strung out' .... haha

 

[Gifovaco]

I really think so....

 

[Gifovaco]

The Who. Get

on your knees and pray...haha

 

[Gifovaco]

Here's some love...

 

[fresh_42]

For those who don't know about it was called La Linea.

Here is another one:

 

[Orodruin]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 347084

Who *** **** is Alice Tim?

 

[ohwilleke]

Fahrenheit is especially useful for humans, even though it is rarely used outside the U.S.

Rankine, however, is no better than Kelvin in that regard.

 

[Orodruin]

Fahrenheit is especially useful for humans, even though it is rarely used outside the U.S.

Water freezes here is arguably more important to humans than whether it is -30 °C or -20 °C.

 

[DrGreg]

Who *** **** is Alice Tim?

According to another thread in this forum, Tim is just an illusion.

 

[jbriggs444]

According to another thread in this forum, Tim is just an illusion.

I thought that Tim was an enchanter.

 

[Orodruin]

I thought that Tim was an enchanter.

Was indeed. Based on the sign he has most likely been murdered.

 

[dextercioby]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 347094

Russian handwriting looks similar, just more curved.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jtbell]

Improbably, Count Dracula has become a ship's navigator. How does he navigate?

By dead reckoning.

 

[berkeman]

Sorry if this is too political (cop/medic humor)...

 

[DrClaude]

Sorry if this is too political (cop/medic humor)...

I take offense was these are French police cars, not Canadian

 

[jack action]

I take offense was these are French police cars, not Canadian

Nobody said it was in Canada, just that it was a group of Canadians. You can go anywhere with a Canadian passport.

 

[jack action]

As I watched the dog chasing its tail, I thought dogs were easily amused.

Then I realized I was watching the dog chase its tail.

 

[Borg]

 

[dextercioby]

Finally a place for me:

 

[phinds]

 

[fresh_42]

Life at the limit.

 

[fresh_42]

Will mankind ever find the answer?
What came first, the egg or Keith Richards?

 

[phinds]

Will mankind ever find the answer?
What came first, the egg or Keith Richards?

Well, if it's any help, there is the story that Adam was talking to God when he saw another guy off in the distance and asked God who that was. "Oh", said God, "that's Keith Richards. He was here when I got here".

 

[fresh_42]

 

[phinds]

It is possible that the answer to the meaning of the universe and everything, aside from the obvious 42, might well be contained in the answer to this question:

Why are pizza's made as a circle, delivered in a square box, and eaten as triangles ?

 

[davenn]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[fresh_42]

It is possible that the answer to the meaning of the universe and everything, aside from the obvious 42, might well be contained in the answer to this question:

Why are pizza's made as a circle, delivered in a square box, and eaten as triangles ?

“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened.” (D.A.)