Collection of Lame Jokes

[berkeman]

 

[Mayhem]

I am not introverted, but I prefer my own company over bad company.

There are those who are the opposite, who prefer bad company over my company.

 

[Gifovaco]

While I'm gone from the lab, just shake those old diethyl ether bottles so those crystals go back into solution.... Just wait 'till I leave....

 

[nuuskur]

 

[topsquark]

View attachment 353244

I'm a religious man. I prefer "... then a miracle occurs ... "

-Dan

 

[Borg]

Was that the one that was simplified by a hand wave and then left to the reader as an exercise?

 

[jack action]

View attachment 353244

From the halloweenmath package in $\LaTeX$

 

[jtbell]

Once upon a time, a long time ago, King Tut fell off his royal barge while cruising down the river.

He couldn't believe it happened! He was in denial.

 

[phinds]

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[berkeman]

 

[dwarde]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[jtbell]

Chicken noodle or tomato rice?

 

[jack action]

View attachment 353346
Chicken noodle or tomato rice?

It makes sense if you are using pool noodles:

 

[WWGD]

A looming disaster. I ran out of yarn.

 

[DaveC426913]

There are those who are the opposite, who prefer bad company over my company.

Why? What's your jam?

 

[WWGD]

When someone complains to you:
" Chorna"
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Rivers_of_Crimea
( Cri me a River)

 

[jtbell]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[BillTre]

 

[Swamp Thing]

What is your dog doing when it stops at every tree, fireplug, etc.?

Checking its peemail!

Doomstrolling?

 

[jtbell]

 

[berkeman]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[Ibix]

Tragedy at the zoo, when the snake pit was accidentally filled with concrete. The zoo director was quoted as saying "It's very sad. Now the snakes don't even have a pit to hiss in."

(Colin Mochrie)

 

[WWGD]

Tragedy at the zoo, when the snake pit was accidentally filled with concrete. The zoo director was quoted as saying "It's very sad. Now the snakes don't even have a pit to hiss in."

(Colin Mochrie)

Only male snake his(s), right?

 

[Ibix]

Only male snake his(s), right?

Correct, and their favourite subject at school is hisstory.

 

[WWGD]

Correct, and their favourite subject at school is hisstory.

I think you're hissterical.

 

[Ibix]

I think you're hissterical.

I don't think oviparous animals can be hysterical, can they?

 

[DrGreg]

I can't tell you how well that works; my lips are sealed.

 

[jtbell]

What did Popeye the sailor say when his captain asked him to become the ship's cook?

"I yam what I yam and that's all that I yam."

 

[DrGreg]

What did Popeye the sailor say when his captain asked him to become the ship's cook?

"I yam what I yam and that's all that I yam."

Served with spinach and olive oil.

 

[jtbell]

Served with spinach and olive oil.

And a wimpy little hamburger.

 

[Bystander]

What did Popeye the sailor say when his captain asked him to become the ship's cook?

"I yam what I yam and that's all that I yam."

Served with spinach and olive oil.

And a wimpy little hamburger.

The one Robin Williams movie in which he wasn't over-acting...I actually like/d it enough to buy the disc.

 

[nsaspook]

 

[berkeman]

 

[jack action]

 

[Sagittarius A-Star]

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 353459

Request to explain the joke: is the point that the red thing near the guy's right hand is a power drill made by a competitor of the company he works for?

 

[gmax137]

Request to explain the joke: is the point that the red thing near the guy's right hand is a power drill made by a competitor of the company he works for?

Yes.

 

[BillTre]

 

[mjc123]

Just hope it doesn't end up like the young lady from Riga...

 

[Borg]

Just hope it doesn't end up like the young lady from Riga...

Wasn't she from Liger?