Collection of Lame Jokes

[BillTre]

 

[jtbell]

The pacifist vegetarian's slogan:

"Give peas a chance."

 

[jack action]

 

[DrGreg]

The pacifist vegetarian's slogan:

"Give peas a chance."

Once a famous sight on London's M25 motorway.

Further information: Chalfont Viaduct

Give Peas A Chance - geograph.org.uk - 1723109
Sebastian Ballard, CC BY-SA 2.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0>, via Wikimedia Commons

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[davenn]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 352730

I got the joke at almost exactly the same moment as my reflexive "open image in new tab" click finished its work, leaving me staring at a large and blurry image and feeling like a fool.

 

[nuuskur]

 

[WWGD]

 

[jtbell]

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 352776

I remember the sign written in a gravestone " I told you I was sick".

 

[DrGreg]

I remember the sign written in a gravestone " I told you I was sick".

The comedian Spike Milligan wanted "I told you I was ill" on his gravestone, but the church authorities would not permit it. But they did allow "Dúirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite" which is Gaelic for the same phrase.

Ref : http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/southern_counties/3742443.stm

 

[WWGD]

The comedian Spike Milligan wanted "I told you I was ill" on his gravestone, but the church authorities would not permit it. But they did allow "Dúirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite" which is Gaelic for the same phrase.

Ref : http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/southern_counties/3742443.stm

Edit: He could have tried in the US:

 

[berkeman]

 

[gmax137]

Brain freeze? That one took me an embarrassingly long time...

 

[nsaspook]

 

[phinds]

After I explained my life style to a nutritionist acquaintance of mine, she said

If you would just quit drinking so much Coke and switch to tea you could easily lose at least 70% of the joy in your life.

 

[WWGD]

 

[nuuskur]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[berkeman]

 

[jtbell]

But what was that wheelbarrow carrying before he sat in it?

 

[DaveC426913]

But what was that wheelbarrow carrying before he sat in it?

Almost certainly air.

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

I REALLY love this one:

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]