Dealing with a Break Up: Is the Girl Immature or the Guy an Idiot?

In Summary, the girl fears that she might be pregnant and is uncomfortable talking about her relationship with her current boyfriend with her old friend. I am not sure how long the friendship lasts but it is interesting due to the fact that the girl still chooses to maintain it despite the boy's apparent insecurity.
  • #1
rootX
479
4
If long time friends get into a short term relationship and then break up. The girl finds a new boyfriend but trusts his ex more to discuss personal things including ones related to her relationship with current boyfriend (usual things where girls cry as they talk). Is the girl immature or guy an idiot?
 
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  • #2
I don't see the problem with talking with a friend about personal things. Sounds like a good friendship to me. That's normal.

And it's also still normal she trusts that friend, who is now an ex, more than her boyfriend. She knew that friend for a long time and trusted that friend before and still does. Sounds normal. Since her boyfriend is new, a high level of trust hasn't developped yet, that's normal.

Hence, moral of the story. She's acting normal and the guy sounds like an insecure little *****.
 
  • #3
JasonRox said:
I don't see the problem with talking with a friend about personal things. Sounds like a good friendship to me. That's normal.

And it's also still normal she trusts that friend, who is now an ex, more than her boyfriend. She knew that friend for a long time and trusted that friend before and still does. Sounds normal. Since her boyfriend is new, a high level of trust hasn't developped yet, that's normal.

Hence, moral of the story. She's acting normal and the guy sounds like an insecure little *****.

Or perhaps she is playing both of them :P
 
  • #4
Yah I don't see what's wrong with this either.

I don't get why the guy is insecure though?
 
  • #5
Nothing wrong with it, as long as you're not "trying to win her over again and ignoring other girls".
 
  • #6
There's no way to generalize this to a unilateral answer. It's conditional on the circumstance.

The first thing I'd check on though, is the agenda of either party. Is it possible that, as DanP says, she's playing the ex? Some girls like to hang on to guys. Is it possible he's pretending to be a confidante in the hopes that he'll have an "in" when the right time comes along?
 
  • #7
rootX said:
(usual things where girls cry as they talk)

Why is she crying while talking about her current boyfriend? It sounds to me like things aren't going so well with the current boyfriend. Why is she discussing this with the ex boyfriend? Could be that she's seeking some form of reassurance from a male friend that it's not something she's doing wrong. Or, it could be that she's trying to let the ex know she's potentially available again if he's interested again. Or, yeah, she could be playing the ex (or even the current boyfriend). These are things you just have to figure out for yourself, unfortunately.
 
  • #8
Moonbear said:
Why is she crying while talking about her current boyfriend? It sounds to me like things aren't going so well with the current boyfriend. Why is she discussing this with the ex boyfriend? Could be that she's seeking some form of reassurance from a male friend that it's not something she's doing wrong. Or, it could be that she's trying to let the ex know she's potentially available again if he's interested again. Or, yeah, she could be playing the ex (or even the current boyfriend). These are things you just have to figure out for yourself, unfortunately.

Some health concerns (afraid that she might be pregnant). I do not want to know too many details about them but I agree that it is conditional on circumstances. I found that it is an interesting case where they still choose to maintain friendship. I am not sure how long it last ... when the boy looks like very insecure who would run to her at 2 AM in the morning if she calls ...
 

Related to Dealing with a Break Up: Is the Girl Immature or the Guy an Idiot?

1. Is it common for one person to be labeled as "immature" or an "idiot" after a break up?

Yes, it is a common reaction for people to assign blame and negative labels to their ex-partner after a break up. This can be a defense mechanism to cope with the pain and hurt of the relationship ending. However, it is important to recognize that break ups are often a result of both people's actions and it is not helpful to assign all the blame to one person.

2. Does it matter who is considered the "immature" one or the "idiot" in a break up?

In the grand scheme of things, it does not matter who is labeled as the immature one or the idiot in a break up. What matters is how both individuals handle the break up and move on from it. Assigning negative labels only perpetuates a toxic cycle and prevents healing and growth.

3. Can a break up be a result of both the girl and the guy acting immaturely?

Yes, a break up can be a result of both individuals acting immaturely. It is important to reflect on your own actions and take responsibility for any negative behaviors that may have contributed to the break up. It takes two people to make a relationship work and two people to end it.

4. Is it possible for either the girl or the guy to be neither immature nor an idiot in a break up?

Yes, it is possible for both individuals to handle a break up in a mature and respectful manner. This may involve open communication, understanding, and mutual respect for each other's feelings. It is important to remember that break ups do not always have to be messy and full of negative emotions.

5. How can someone determine if the girl is immature or the guy is an idiot after a break up?

It is not productive or helpful to try and determine who is at fault in a break up. Instead, focus on understanding your own emotions and actions, and working towards personal growth and healing. Blaming others will only hinder this process and prevent you from moving on in a healthy way.

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