Do Physical Appearance and Shared Interests Affect Attraction Equally?

[ranger]

Correction: Nice guys never get jobs.

Eh?

[10 char

 

[radou]

Don't give up on this one. Reliable and trustworthy are really big deals, and if your lady-friends don't "click" with you romantically, rest assured that one day they will meet another female that they think is perfect for you, and start playing match-maker. First be their friend - you'll see. This isn't a zero-sum game in which you keep score. Making and keeping friends of the opposite sex is a win-win and it's going to make breaking the ice with their girl-friends so easy.

Thanks for the good piece of advice, turbo.

 

[Werg22]

Eh?

[10 char

To get promoted you need to step on a few toes more often than not.

 

[baywax]

To get promoted you need to step on a few toes more often than not.

Gee, I thought you had to perform efficiently. Who knew! In fact, I fire everyone that steps on toes!

 

[baywax]

I know of too many guys who will not date a woman unless she is a Miss America stunner or willing to give to their favorite charity (sex). Otherwise, they would rather sit at home watching TV (the "Captain Jack" syndrome). I should know - I practiced this for years.

Here in Arlington there is a considerable surplus of ladies, most of them intelligent and many available. If I were not dedicated to my current girlfriend, I would have a wide choice of other good women with whom to have a meaningful relationship. As one gets to know them, the more attractive they become, and the more meaningful the prospect of intimacy.

Do you notice a similar pattern in your neck of the world?

Yes. But I've also noticed that, for the most part, women are only overtly interested in you if you have money.

And the men are only interested in the women who have sex.

So, guess who gets the most interest per capita?

Is it just me or is this normal?

 

[Evo]

So, the expression 'nice guy' translates to "decent human being, not relationship material." There are plenty of guys that are nice who have girlfriends, but there are very few boring guys that do.

I prefer "boring" guys. A guy that prefers staying home reading or working on a project is perfect for me.

A nice guy, in my opinion, is kind and considerate, this means that if he says he'll call you, he does, he doesn't make plans with you and then change them without telling you. I don't mind if he changes plans as long as he tells me so I'm not left wondering what happened. A nice guy listens to you and is considerate of your feelings. A nice guy is your best friend as well as your lover. A nice guy doesn't play games or try to make you jealous.

A nice guy can be exciting and adventurous, nice guys are usually very interesting. Bad boys are inconsiderate, self centered, and can be extremely boring. They are usually so wrapped up in themselves that they have no personality and can't talk in depth about anything meaningful.

Just my experiences with types of men I've run across.

 

[Schrodinger's Dog]

This thread proves to me that there is no tried and tested means of success, every person is different, every person has different preferences, therefore the means to achieve success are dynamic.

The amount of people who's subjective knowledge seems to be applied to some sort of objective wisdom is surprising, to be frank if you have any tried and tested methods, you're not playing the same game I am?

It's a very capricious part of life, and anything close to absolute assumptions are meaningless. Yeah let's assume that you have the bible on relationships, let's also assume that your religion is meaningless to everyone else. All you can give is very generalised pointers; the fact is if you've learned anything about people, then the ability to adapt is by far and a way the most important thing you should take into any social circumstance, and giving any hard and fast rules is a foolish thing to even consider given the medium you are working with.

The first step is in realising that you are a fool

 

[Evo]

Very true, it would seem my notion of what a nice guy and bad boy is isn't how others classify them. It's just traits I find attractive or try to avoid.

 

[radou]

I prefer "boring" guys. A guy that prefers staying home reading or working on a project is perfect for me.

Just curious, did you always prefer such guys?

 

[Evo]

Just curious, did you always prefer such guys?

Yes, always.

 

[Astronuc]

'nice guy' translates to "decent human being, not relationship material."

No! Perhaps 'nice guy' is a euphemism used by some for a 'boring guy'. However, I would define a nice guy the same way Evo does. Considerate, thoughtful, honest/straightforward, hard working, trustworthy - which are all attributes one would want in a spouse.

There are plenty of nice guys who doing interesting things like travel to interesting places.

A guy that prefers staying home reading or working on a project is perfect for me.

I enjoy being home in the evening reading, or working, or participating in PF or another science forum. Otherwise, I'm doing home repairs/upgrades or gardening.

I'm bringing too much work home too much these days.

A nice guy, in my opinion, is kind and considerate, this means that if he says he'll call you, he does, he doesn't make plans with you and then change them without telling you. I don't mind if he changes plans as long as he tells me so I'm not left wondering what happened. A nice guy listens to you and is considerate of your feelings. A nice guy is your best friend as well as your lover. A nice guy doesn't play games or try to make you jealous.

The best friend part is the key. Friends trust one another, and beside communication, mutual trust is very important in a bilateral relationship.

 

[SpitfireAce]

"A guy that prefers staying home reading or working on a project is perfect for me." -Evo
"I enjoy being home in the evening reading, or working, or participating in PF or another science forum. Otherwise, I'm doing home repairs/upgrades or gardening." -Astronuc

smooth =)

 

[Astronuc]

smooth =)

No. Don't read anything into my comment.

I'm already married. See my earlier posts.

Besides - it's more a matter of age. I got my h***-raising days out of my system in my early years of university, and at that time, I wasn't dating. I wouldn't have wanted to subject a woman to that.


These days I just prefer quiet evenings. I don't like crowds or noisy places.


I do the like the great outdoors - particularly mountainous regions.


I amused myself last night watching bats fly around my backyard.

 

[ice109]

This thread proves to me that there is no tried and tested means of success, every person is different, every person has different preferences, therefore the means to achieve success are dynamic.

The amount of people who's subjective knowledge seems to be applied to some sort of objective wisdom is surprising, to be frank if you have any tried and tested methods, you're not playing the same game I am?

It's a very capricious part of life, and anything close to absolute assumptions are meaningless. Yeah let's assume that you have the bible on relationships, let's also assume that your religion is meaningless to everyone else. All you can give is very generalised pointers; the fact is if you've learned anything about people, then the ability to adapt is by far and a way the most important thing you should take into any social circumstance, and giving any hard and fast rules is a foolish thing to even consider given the medium you are working with.

The first step is in realising that you are a fool

i don't see how anyone with any amount of critical thinking skills doesn't realize that relationships and attractive qualities and what it takes to get a date is as unique to the parties involved as the parties involved are unique.

 

[Smurf]

what it takes to get a date is as unique to the parties involved as the parties involved are unique.

That's clever. I like it. First thing post this thread that hasn't made me shake my head.

 

[JasonRox]

You may grow up eventually. Or maybe not.

You'll be a lot happier in the long run if you actually treat women as people instead of objects. You might find a life-long friend, and if you're really lucky, your life-long friend will be a wonderful partner for life, sex, intellectual interests, fun, etc. If you're a self centered jerk, you'll live and die alone, even if you have some half-hearted companionship along the way. You get to choose.

I do respect woman and myself.

I find that nice guys don't respect themselves in some ways. I see girls setup dates with guys and then the girl bails on them. I don't put up with that ok. I say to them that no friend of mine can just disrespect me like that and so on. Nice guys are just like... that's ok. It's fine.

I treat woman as people more than objects. I was the first person before even the females to speak up on why there aren't any girls in my department. It doesn't bother me, but a lot of girls are more capable of doing it than some guys that are in the department.

No offense, but really, nice guys don't get girls in my books. I used to be the nice guy kind of person, but not anymore at all. Like I said in my earlier threads, girls and people and generally connect with me very well and like my honesty, trust and loyalty. I just don't put up with any disrespect towards me whatsoever.

 

[radou]

I used to be the nice guy kind of person, but not anymore at all. Like I said in my earlier threads, girls and people and generally connect with me very well and like my honesty, trust and loyalty.

What a contradictory post. Are you a nice guy or not..? I mean, you are honest, trustworthy and loyal, doesn't that make you nice?

(Kidding, I get your point.)

 

[Schrodinger's Dog]

i don't see how anyone with any amount of critical thinking skills doesn't realize that relationships and attractive qualities and what it takes to get a date is as unique to the parties involved as the parties involved are unique.

Yeah you'd think , not directed at anyone in particular though, but let's just say a lot of people have preconceived notions ideas and baggage when they approach the subject.

ie women only go for men with x or you have to have x characteristics or be y or you don't stand a chance.

 

[JasonRox]

What a contradictory post. Are you a nice guy or not..? I mean, you are honest, trustworthy and loyal, doesn't that make you nice?

(Kidding, I get your point.)

I was just going to put an article explaining what I mean in good words, but it has to stay low so now I can't post it. I'll re-write it sometime.

Once you read it though, it's just like... I'm an idiot.

Although I was a nice guy before, girls were still attracted to me regardless. It didn't make a difference, but I can get many more attracted. Even the girl at another high school tried to get me to go out with her on the weekends, where everyone thought she was the hottest girl that ever went to this particular school (I didn't think so). She gave me rides to school that were so out of her way (10 minute car ride to school was not 35-40 minutes). My gf didn't like that, but I was just like, I'm getting a ride for my 8am class. Nothing beats that! I totally forgot about this though. I'll have to make fun of her next time I see her.

 

[radou]

ie women only go for men with x or you have to have x characteristics or be y or you don't stand a chance.

I agree with that, but I still believe there are certain patterns in the male vs. female saga.

 

[slugcountry]

I know of too many guys who will not date a woman unless she is a Miss America stunner or willing to give to their favorite charity (sex). Otherwise, they would rather sit at home watching TV (the "Captain Jack" syndrome). I should know - I practiced this for years.

I'm not going to date someone I'm not attracted to... why would I do that, when I can date someone I AM attracted to... there are plenty of attractive horny women that are equally engaging - why settle?

 

[Loren Booda]

What would it take for a guy to date a woman, knowing that sex was out of the equation? Some of us have had no choice in the matter, but ended up enjoying her company anyway.

 

[Cyrus]

Why would you want to date someone if sex was out of the question? It defeats the purpose of dating.

 

[ice109]

Why would you want to date someone if sex was out of the question? It defeats the purpose of dating.

so people who can't have sex shouldn't date?

 

[Cyrus]

Those people would be the exception. Provided that Chuck Norris does not kill them first for having ED. But still, they should date someone they want to have sex with, even though they cant.

 

[Werg22]

Those people would be the exception. Provided that Chuck Norris does not kill them first for having ED. But still, they should date someone they want to have sex with, even though they cant.

cyrusabdollahi, the Chuck Norris thing is a fad already. It's not popular in 2007.

 

[Smurf]

cyrusabdollahi, the Chuck Norris thing is a fad already. It's not popular in 2007.

Oooo, Chuck Norris going to roundhouse your ass. Just wait (he's busy).

 

[Werg22]

I suggest you edit quickly before a mod sees that post.

 

[Smurf]

What? Like with asterisks or something? The site does that automatically, if they don't want me to say 'ass' they can add it to the censor.

 

[radou]

I suggest you edit quickly before a mod sees that post.

Hey, Evo is not that evil !