Do Physical Appearance and Shared Interests Affect Attraction Equally?

[JasonRox]

Do you think that a drop-dead gorgeous woman is going to stay that way all her life? What if she's bulimic and will stop puking up her meals when she snags a guy who is fixated on her looks?

1 - That's why you don't get married if that's an issue.

2 - What if she's so obese and she's at high risk of heart disease? It's easy to point out problems in skinny girls, eh.

I hate the whole hot girls are uptight and are dumb. Ugly girls are just as uptight and dumb.

 

[Smurf]

I hate the whole hot girls are uptight and are dumb. Ugly girls are just as uptight and dumb.

and that's all i have to say about that

 

[Moonbear]

Like all men (I think), I'm looking for the complete package. That means a girl who is intelligent, motivated, interesting, fun, and good-looking. There are plenty of such women; why settle for anything less?

You are correct that some things can grow on you with time and become more attractive, so, to me, "good-looking" is not an idealization. I often find myself most attracted to women other people would describe as cute, rather than meeting stereotypical standards of supermodel beauty. These sorts of girls definitely do grow on me, and become more and more attractive as I get to know them.

I think if someone has all the other qualities, seeing them as "good looking" sort of naturally grows on you, even if it doesn't start out that way.

I have to admit that some physical characteristics will never grow on me, however. Mainly, I mean weight. The honest truth is that I view being overweight as a character flaw, in the same vein as being an alcoholic. It's even worse than alcoholism in the sense that it affects not only my opinion of her personality, but of her looks as well. It also indicates to me that she's probably not going to enjoy any of my active hobbies, etc.

So -- if a girl is "not physically attractive" because she's very overweight, I won't be interested, even if she is very engaging. If she's "not very attractive" because I don't like her hair style or her clothing, that's something I could overcome in time.

- Warren

But, is that really an issue of physical attraction, or just that someone who is overweight is unlikely to share your interests either? You're a very active person, into biking and fitness in general. Someone who is overweight isn't going to share your interests, so there's more to it than just the physical appearance. I think the reason appearance does play into attraction is that we use our physical appearance to project information about who we are, whether it's that we enjoy physical activities, or the latest fashion trends, or don't spend a lot of time dwelling on clothing, if we are modest or flamboyant, etc.

I find myself laughing when I hear guys say things like, "I don't want a high maintenance woman" and then only pick up the women with their hair done up with all sorts of goop, face plastered in make-up, nails perfectly manicured, wearing the latest designer clothing, all perfectly accessorized...what part of that says "low maintenance?" So, there are things about appearance that do tell something about the person, and I think it's useful to pay attention to that, and does play into our attraction for a person, but I also agree with you that trying to adhere to some "idealized" concept of "good looking" doesn't work.

 

[slugcountry]

I hate the whole hot girls are uptight and are dumb. Ugly girls are just as uptight and dumb.

not to mention bitter because they're ugly lol

 

[slugcountry]

But, is that really an issue of physical attraction, or just that someone who is overweight is unlikely to share your interests either? You're a very active person, into biking and fitness in general. Someone who is overweight isn't going to share your interests, so there's more to it than just the physical appearance. I think the reason appearance does play into attraction is that we use our physical appearance to project information about who we are, whether it's that we enjoy physical activities, or the latest fashion trends, or don't spend a lot of time dwelling on clothing, if we are modest or flamboyant, etc.

haha come on you can't be serious ... physical attraction (as from a first impression) has zero to do with shared interests... especially if, for example, its just a headshot on a website or something. Studies have shown that attraction is consistant around the world, it has nothing to do with interests.

And the part about phyical appearance projection information about who we are - yeah you might be right there as far as health goes. If someone is a fat slob its a safe bet they're not a healthy choice for a mate (from a surivival of the fittest point of view)... for that matter neither is an anorexic. I think these things are pretty obvious without having to be debated...