Evo said:
I guess it comes with age, but I've dated men that I wasn't physically attracted to initially, but after getting to know them, their appearance didn't matter because they were so great.
Is that something that none of you can see yourselves doing?
I don't see myself doing that personally. Why should I do that? Like I said, if she's ugly but has great character, well guess what, there is so many fish in the sea that I will find one that's attractive and has great character. And yes, I already found lots of them. So, no I would not go on a date with a girl I'm not attracted too.
Keep in mind I'm attracted to a wide variety of girls. I'm attracted to this girl right now that I don't think anyone else is, and I just think she's hot. I don't know anything about her. I only have small talk with her and I really don't see anything special about her yet. But, I think she's hot.
Does it always have to be physical attraction?
Now you're making some sort of assumption as if that's all it is, when it's not. Like I said earlier, I said the girl is nothing special. That's of yet, since I never got to know her yet. She has a boyfriend, but when school starts I'll be more aggresive though. Her boyfriend should watch out to be honest with you.
Also, in my other posts. I only sleep with those I admire. It takes more than physical attraction to create admiration, for me anyways. So, no it does not always be physical attraction. At the beginning, yes because there is nothing else to base it on. If I just so happen to get to know someone who is not attractive and she turns out to be cool, still no because I want someone attractive and I am capable of getting someone I am attracted to. She would just be like a guy friend in the literal sense that she or he is not attractive (to have sex with) to my eyes but cool as a person.
Is it just women that can find themselves attracted to personailty so that looks don't matter?
No, I doubt this. I think girls can get attracted to personality, just like men can. I do too, but like I said, you will only get friendship with me. But other guys might go beyond that, and actually start a relationship with someone who's not attractive. Imagine your partner finding out you don't think he or she is attractive... have fun. Anyways, why do some do it? Maybe they think they can't get someone more attractive, or literally can't get someone more attractive. Low self-esteem or low self-worth. Of course, full out good people might go out with someone they're are not attractive to, so I'm not saying you must have low self-esteem or what not. I just see that as one of the reasons.
Another important thing to is to have your partner comfortable with themselves atleast a little so you can work from there. Sleeping with someone who is uncomfortable with their appearance or themselves just sucks. The sex just sucks. They won't do this or that because it's weird and all that jazz. So, it's not even just hot and admirable in my opinion, it's all comfort and have some self-esteem (lots of girls don't have much so I don't put high standards on that one). I'm willing to work with "some" self-esteem. My ex-gf had "some" at the beggining, and now she has much much more where I help her build that and I like that. Now the sex is unbelievable. Of course, you now know she can just hook up with a guy and get crazy, but most guys are lame so I don't have to worry about that. Hence, why she rather stay with me until that other guy who's not lame comes around. Haha.
I guess to clarify, their personality makes them physically attractive, all the physical flaws become endearing.
That would never work for me. Atleast not now anyways.
Oh and one thing I hate is when people say that if you just go for attractive people, you're shallow. I HATE THIS BEYOND ANYTHING. How can you say someone is shallow for going for someone who is attractive meanwhile you know nothing about this person? Atleast you're going for this person for an actual reason. Attractive people can have all the qualities a non-attractive person has, and those good qualities are also what I look for. Just because I add attractive to the list of wants or needs does not make me shallow. That's just dumb. To people who think that, I just always ask them would you date a girl/guy who has a really great personality and is funny? They say yes. I say... "And they're attractive." And they say... "Of course, because he/she has a great personality too." And then I say... "But she's a crack addict." And then they say... "NO WAY I'LL DATE A CRACK ADDICT." Well, I say... "Well, he or she is great and everything just like you said you would date someone who is great, but she's a crack addict that doesn't interfere with her personality and now you say no? That's shallow. Just like attractiveness doesn't interfere with personality."
Evo, you break up with guys who just don't use the proper fork or something. That's no different. Something that really doesn't have anything to do with someone's true personality.
... physical attraction is the basis of attraction - I don't care to find out more about a person unless I'm.. you know.. ATTRACTED