Okay, so it sounds like you're confused on a number of levels. The first thing that I'll address concerns the definition of a limit to some extent or another. Clearly, for any given ε > 0, we need to make |x-3||x+4| < ε by limiting the size of |x-3| and |x+4|; however, from the definition of a limit, we can only directly limit the size of one of these terms. So, let's examine the definition of a limit as x tends to 3 ...
Definition: limx→3f(x) means that for every ε > 0, we can find a δ > 0, such that for all x, if 0 < |x-3| < δ, then |f(x) - L| < ε.
Since |x-3| is the only term that we can really limit the size of directly, we're going to see if we can put an upper bound on how big |x+4| is by making |x-3| sufficiently small. This explains why we're working with |x-3| and not |x+4|; the definition of a limit as x tends to 3 tells us how big |x-3| is, but it doesn't tell us much of anything (directly) about the size of |x+4|. By the way, based on your post, it sounds like you're confused about some aspects concerning the definition of a limit and exactly what it means. Even if you don't think that you need to, and even if you don't really need to (the two are different things), it is still a good exercise to go back and work through that definition. It will only help you understand things better.
Second, I'll explain why we add 7 (which is really quite simple). First, we limit the size of |x-3| by making it so that 0 < |x-3| < 1. One consequence of the definition of an absolute value is that -1 < x-3 < 1 from the first inequality (note: There are no absolute value signs around x-3). Now, based on the size of |x-3|, we want to see if we can say something about how big |x+4| is. To do this, note that I need to add 7 to x-3 in order to change it into x+4. This is where the 7 comes from. Now, since we need to add 7 to the x-3 term, we also need to add 7 to the remaining terms in order for the inequality to hold; thus, we have -1 + 7 < x-3 + 7 < 1 + 7 or 6 < x+4 < 8. This means that |x+4| < 8.
Hopefully this clears up some of your questions.