Funniest member - Artman, Danger, MIH, BobG, etc

[Evo]

Sorry for the etc... you know who you are, I was running out of space.

OK, it's going to be a fierce week. Here is your opportunity to strut your stuff.

Post your best posts here. I think this will be a fun stroll down memory lane for all of us!

 

[mattmns]

Hmmmmmm, where should I begin...

 

[Smurf]

cheap shot at pengwuino:


http://img530.imageshack.us/img530/38/limitations7wl.jpg

 

[Pengwuino]

*gasp*!

VOTER FRAUD!

I should win by default!

 

[Smurf]

If it worked that way Nader would be President.

 

[Pengwuino]

If it worked that way Nader would be President.

No one voted for nader, not even nader.

 

[Smurf]

no but he's the only one who didn't commit voter fraud. Win by default.

 

[hypnagogue]

Following a promising start, the funniest member thread degenerates into political banter after four posts. hm, I guess that is kind of funny actually.

 

[Pengwuino]

Yah smurf, quit trying to slander me and my species.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

This is generally the way I think of Pengwuino...

 

[Anttech]

LMAO... nice photoshoping

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

It's actually not my own work. I just found it in a google search.

---edit---

My Av on the otherhand is actually my own work with cut and paste and a bit of blending.

 

[Artman]

I want to read some of the funniest stuff by all the other nominees, so I am going to start off with some of mine. This thread started out as a simple question about tasks that are unpleasant. Ivan mentioned a biologist saying masturbating a rhino, which struck me as oddly funny and I ran with it. My additions start on page 4 I think.
https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=60293&page=3"

Another one of mine I liked was my internetathon for poor Tribdog who was complaining about getting too much sex. My contributions (to the post, not Tribdogs's complaint) started on page 4 I think.
https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=42177&page=4"

Come one now guys, I showed you mine, show me yours.

 

[Smurf]

I was always fond of my "Why is bra singular and panties plural? thread. But I can't seem to find it.

 

[Artman]

I was always fond of my "Why is bra singular and panties plural? thread. But I can't seem to find it.

I think I found it.
https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=57494&highlight=panties"
On a side note, a search of your posts only for the word panties, brought a result of 20 threads! Just thought you ought to know.
.
On another side note, so did mine.

 

[Smurf]

teehee, I just added myself to my buddy list.

How do you search the posts of someone? I only know how to "view all posts"

 

[Smurf]

never mind, figured it out.

 

[Smurf]

Maybe it's just me, but I found this thread highly amusing.
https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=53647&highlight=Insomnia

Edit: Here's the rest of the insomniac collection that I found:
https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=50865&highlight=Insomniacs
https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=62820&highlight=InsomniacsTrivia: Many don't know but the real founding of the PF Brotherhood took part in the Insomnia days.

Franz's insomnia thread is to the brotherhood as the bread is to sliced bread.

 

[alfredblase]

I want to win for the unfunniest member, so I'm going to come out with the oldest, corniest, crumbiest, worst physics joke (derrogatories in increasing order of negativieness) I can think of (it's actually the only one I know :P): Heisenberg was speeding, a police man stops him and says, "Do you know where you are?" to which Heisenberg replies, "Why of course, I'm two miles from the Swiss border cutting through the Rhine". To which the policeman replies, "Do you know how fast you were going??" ... sorry.. heh. That's not a bad idea for a new thread actually.. physics jokes!

 

[BobG]

Well, [post=724786]this one[/post] was kind of funny.

More importantly, Monique never did explain how she got a blister on her wrist from using a wisk.

 

[Moonbear]

Well, [post=724786]this one[/post] was kind of funny.
More importantly, Monique never did explain how she got a blister on her wrist from using a wisk.

I'm wondering what I was drinking when I replied to that thread. Beating egg whites with a blender? I must have thought she meant electric mixer.

 

[Huckleberry]

Hey, Ivan didn't make the list? How can this be?

 

[Moonbear]

Hey, Ivan didn't make the list? How can this be?

Mentors aren't eligible. Since we choose the nominees, it would be a bit unfair if we could choose ourselves.

 

[tribdog]

Hey, Ivan didn't make the list? How can this be?

he didn't make the list because he made the list. you use too many words moonbear.

 

[Moonbear]

you use too many words moonbear.

Sorry, didn't know they were getting scarce. I'll try to conserve better in the future (though maybe not just yet).

 

[BobG]

he didn't make the list because he made the list. you use too many words moonbear.

If you don't use enough, you get an error message.

Edit: Hmm, still shorter than Moonbear's post.

 

[tribdog]

Moonbear likes to talk, but I got to say at least she isn't redundantly saying the same thing twice.

 

[Huckleberry]

I don't see what's so unfair about mentors nominating each other for these awards. It's the votes that count here and those come from we PF citizens. I think Ivan is being gipped out of a nomination that he deserves. He's clever, original, friendly and prolific with his humor.

Oh well. There's lots of other good choices here. Rules is rules.

 

[tribdog]

You can not move in with Ivan.

 

[Huckleberry]

Darn, you're on to me. Hey, maybe Ivan needs someone to feed his animals. I have lots of experience. In Arizona I took over my aunts job of feeding their 16 pets, 8 cats, 5 dogs and 3 donkeys. I'm pretty good at scaring away coyotes, climbing under houses or up mesquite trees to retrieve frightened cats and am a certified pet entertainer. I have limited experience with reptiles, amphibians and rodents. I'll even entertain plants, but I don't work with birds or fish.

 

[tribdog]

you aren't that entertaining to me either
lol I'm kidding

 

[Moonbear]

I have limited experience with reptiles, amphibians and rodents.

If you leave them all together, it's really easy to take care of them...er...well...at least the reptiles will be well fed.

 

[Huckleberry]

you aren't that entertaining to me either
lol I'm kidding

That's ok. I'm here mostly to entertain myself. It has become much more difficult to do so since I misplaced my Colorado River Toad, Bucket (Bucky). I think my dog, Lunch, ate him. Last time I saw Lunch he was howling "Easy Like Sunday Morning." I spent weeks looking for him but the only lead I got was an anonymous phone call claiming he moved in with a family in Oregon and changed his name to Dinner.

 

[tribdog]

okay Huckleberry as my last official job as funniest Member I'm going to help you out. Comedy lesson: less is more. Just like Moonbear uses too many words, you are overdoing the exaggeration. Instead of having a Colorado River Toad, just go with a dog, a little mutt, perhaps like the one I used to have named Candy. Instead of it getting eaten, perhaps it gets left at a rest area in the middle of he desert, just like Candy. And instead of it moving to oregon and changing its name it could get run over by a trucker named Jeff. The resulting story:
I had a little dog name Candy and she accidently got left at a rest area,but when we went back to find her she was being pried off of a truckers grill. And I don't see what's so god damn funny about that and why'd you bring that up? That was a tough time in my life and you just nonchalantly make jokes about it? what's your problem Huckleberry? jerk

 

[zoobyshoe]

And I don't see what's so god damn funny about that and why'd you bring that up? That was a tough time in my life and you just nonchalantly make jokes about it? what's your problem Huckleberry? jerk

"You hear that? Do you hear that? Tribdog, son. Nothing else in the world sounds like that. I love the whine of tribdog in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for twelve hours. When it was all over I walked up. We didn't find one of 'em, not one stinkin' tribdog body. The whine, you know that tribdog whine, the whole hill. Sounds like...victory."
-Lt. Kilgore, Tribpocalypse Now

 

[Pengwuino]

I should win this award simply for this dramatic portrayal of me by this young penguin actor.

 

[JamesU]

hmmm...It seems that all other contestants have dropped out

 

[El Hombre Invisible]

I should win this award simply for this dramatic portrayal of me by this young penguin actor.

It's real action that counts in the guru nominations, Pengwuino. No awards for cymbalic gestures.

Jeez, I'm ill. Well, not ill. Colds don't really count as 'ill', do they. They're just pointless and annoying and distracting. Tho being a man, I don't get colds, I get 'a touch of flu'. Always 'a touch of flu', never a cold. Lying on the couch groaning every time we cough, sneeze or blow our noses in that 'I need attention urgently' way. Bring me water, bring me food, can't reach the remote, my feet aren't covered. We're just big kids.

I'm not after sympathy. I'm after sympathy votes.

 

[Danger]

It's real action that counts in the guru nominations, Pengwuino. No awards for cymbalic gestures.

Beauty!

 

[El Hombre Invisible]

Beauty!

Why, thank you. My lame joke detector is a bit off today, hence the illness excuse.

Things are quiet in PF this pm.

 

[Danger]

I'm half a planet away from you, so I just woke up and am getting ready for work. Unfortunately, even those PFers in my own time zone seem to be nocturnal. That was always my favourite time to be active, but now that I'm working full-time and living with N/W, I have to go to bed by about 10:00.

 

[El Hombre Invisible]

I'm half a planet away from you, so I just woke up and am getting ready for work. Unfortunately, even those PFers in my own time zone seem to be nocturnal. That was always my favourite time to be active, but now that I'm working full-time and living with N/W, I have to go to bed by about 10:00.

Wow! PF for breakfast?!? THAT's dedication, my friend.

Yeah, that is the biggest problem with Britishness - no-one's around during the one period I have high-speed internet access. Well, that and the lack of law and order. And justice. And money. And the pubs shut at 11 pm. And the public transport doesn't work. And the people who serve you in any institution are rude, shoddy and unhygienic. And the endless sh1te films about good, decent, hard-working, honest, working class people attaining some ideal against all odds and upper class accents. And it's too small. And the climate is awful. And everyone hates each other. Not to mention is the poor state of education, pensions and the national health service. And the congestion. And the pollution. And the corruption.

But the main problem in Britain is that no-one is on PF when I am.

 

[Danger]

But the main problem in Britain is that no-one is on PF when I am.

The rest is a minor annoyance, but this is a serious societal flaw.

 

[El Hombre Invisible]

The rest is a minor annoyance, but this is a serious societal flaw.

You replied to that reeeeeeeeeeally quick. I'm feeling my high-speed connection ain't so high-speed no more.

 

[Danger]

That wasn't quick. I'm on N/W's computer, and it's got one of those stupid Celeron chips. One of these days, I'm going to have to move my Mac over here. (Can't right now though; she only has one working phone jack.)

 

[El Hombre Invisible]

That wasn't quick. I'm on N/W's computer, and it's got one of those stupid Celeron chips. One of these days, I'm going to have to move my Mac over here. (Can't right now though; she only has one working phone jack.)

Well, it was quick enough for me to post, hit 'New posts', and wonder why it hadn't updated the thread with my name.

Nads, I shaved in the dark again this morning and I've just fingered a reet big bit o' beard across my right jaw line. Told you we were shoddy.

Balls to it, I quit this job in two weeks. Might stop shaving altogether. Start coming in in my jamas and a dressing gown.

 

[Danger]

As long as you're sure you're going to quit before you start doing that...
Hey, I've just saved myself a lot of hassle. I always thought that I had to capitalize the 'i's to get italics. To think of the time and effort that I've wasted hitting that stupid 'shift' key...

 

[zoobyshoe]

As long as you're sure you're going to quit before you start doing that...
Hey, I've just saved myself a lot of hassle. I always thought that I had to capitalize the 'i's to get italics. To think of the time and effort that I've wasted hitting that stupid 'shift' key...

Yes, you could have been a millionaire by now, but for that squandered effort.

Wait till you find out about the italics button.

 

[Danger]

Yes, son... I know about the italics button.
The old one was a bit of a hassle, and the new one didn't work on my Mac the last time I tried it, so I just got used to typing it instead.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

Nads, I shaved in the dark again this morning and I've just fingered a reet big bit o' beard across my right jaw line. Told you we were shoddy.

Shouldn't be shaving your nads in the dark. I can't imagine them needing it so bad that you couldn't wait until daylight.