Funniest member - Artman, Danger, MIH, BobG, etc

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In summary, the humor in this thread is generally amusing. However, there are a few threads that are not very funny.
  • #36
penguin-polar.jpg


I should win this award simply for this dramatic portrayal of me by this young penguin actor.
 
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  • #37
hmmm...It seems that all other contestants have dropped out :rolleyes:
 
  • #38
Pengwuino said:
penguin-polar.jpg


I should win this award simply for this dramatic portrayal of me by this young penguin actor.

It's real action that counts in the guru nominations, Pengwuino. No awards for cymbalic gestures.

Jeez, I'm ill. Well, not ill. Colds don't really count as 'ill', do they. They're just pointless and annoying and distracting. Tho being a man, I don't get colds, I get 'a touch of flu'. Always 'a touch of flu', never a cold. Lying on the couch groaning every time we cough, sneeze or blow our noses in that 'I need attention urgently' way. Bring me water, bring me food, can't reach the remote, my feet aren't covered. We're just big kids.

I'm not after sympathy. I'm after sympathy votes.
 
  • #39
El Hombre Invisible said:
It's real action that counts in the guru nominations, Pengwuino. No awards for cymbalic gestures.
:smile: :smile: Beauty!
 
  • #40
Danger said:
:smile: :smile: Beauty!
Why, thank you. My lame joke detector is a bit off today, hence the illness excuse.

Things are quiet in PF this pm.
 
  • #41
I'm half a planet away from you, so I just woke up and am getting ready for work. Unfortunately, even those PFers in my own time zone seem to be nocturnal. That was always my favourite time to be active, but now that I'm working full-time and living with N/W, I have to go to bed by about 10:00. :rolleyes:
 
  • #42
Danger said:
I'm half a planet away from you, so I just woke up and am getting ready for work. Unfortunately, even those PFers in my own time zone seem to be nocturnal. That was always my favourite time to be active, but now that I'm working full-time and living with N/W, I have to go to bed by about 10:00. :rolleyes:
Wow! PF for breakfast?!? THAT's dedication, my friend.

Yeah, that is the biggest problem with Britishness - no-one's around during the one period I have high-speed internet access. Well, that and the lack of law and order. And justice. And money. And the pubs shut at 11 pm. And the public transport doesn't work. And the people who serve you in any institution are rude, shoddy and unhygienic. And the endless sh1te films about good, decent, hard-working, honest, working class people attaining some ideal against all odds and upper class accents. And it's too small. And the climate is awful. And everyone hates each other. Not to mention is the poor state of education, pensions and the national health service. And the congestion. And the pollution. And the corruption.

But the main problem in Britain is that no-one is on PF when I am.
 
  • #43
El Hombre Invisible said:
But the main problem in Britain is that no-one is on PF when I am.
The rest is a minor annoyance, but this is a serious societal flaw.
 
  • #44
Danger said:
The rest is a minor annoyance, but this is a serious societal flaw.
You replied to that reeeeeeeeeeally quick. I'm feeling my high-speed connection ain't so high-speed no more.
 
  • #45
That wasn't quick. I'm on N/W's computer, and it's got one of those stupid Celeron chips. One of these days, I'm going to have to move my Mac over here. (Can't right now though; she only has one working phone jack.)
 
  • #46
Danger said:
That wasn't quick. I'm on N/W's computer, and it's got one of those stupid Celeron chips. One of these days, I'm going to have to move my Mac over here. (Can't right now though; she only has one working phone jack.)
Well, it was quick enough for me to post, hit 'New posts', and wonder why it hadn't updated the thread with my name.

Nads, I shaved in the dark again this morning and I've just fingered a reet big bit o' beard across my right jaw line. Told you we were shoddy.

Balls to it, I quit this job in two weeks. Might stop shaving altogether. Start coming in in my jamas and a dressing gown.
 
  • #47
As long as you're sure you're going to quit before you start doing that...
Hey, I've just saved myself a lot of hassle. I always thought that I had to capitalize the 'i's to get italics. To think of the time and effort that I've wasted hitting that stupid 'shift' key...
 
  • #48
Danger said:
As long as you're sure you're going to quit before you start doing that...
Hey, I've just saved myself a lot of hassle. I always thought that I had to capitalize the 'i's to get italics. To think of the time and effort that I've wasted hitting that stupid 'shift' key...
Yes, you could have been a millionaire by now, but for that squandered effort.

Wait till you find out about the italics button.
 
  • #49
Yes, son... I know about the italics button. :-p
The old one was a bit of a hassle, and the new one didn't work on my Mac the last time I tried it, so I just got used to typing it instead.
 
  • #50
Hombre said:
Nads, I shaved in the dark again this morning and I've just fingered a reet big bit o' beard across my right jaw line. Told you we were shoddy.
Shouldn't be shaving your nads in the dark. I can't imagine them needing it so bad that you couldn't wait until daylight.
 
  • #51
I suspect that his mama told him that it's evil to look at them. Good thing he doesn't use a straight-razor. :eek:
 
  • #52
Danger said:
Yes, son... I know about the italics button. :-p
The old one was a bit of a hassle, and the new one didn't work on my Mac the last time I tried it, so I just got used to typing it instead.
http://www.freenet.de/freenet/film_und_musik/dvd/bildershows/columbo/bilder_gross/01.jpeg
Oh. So you knew about the italics button, but...lemmesee...the old was "a bit of a hassle" and the new one didn't work on your Mac...so you typed it instead. I see. Well, I guess that's all the questions I had Mr. Danger. Tank you very much.
 
  • #53
Any time. Always glad to help out the law. Or is that help the outlaw? Either way...
 
  • #54
Danger said:
Any time. Always glad to help out the law. Or is that help the outlaw? Either way...

http://www.13emerue.fr/Images/401928/208355/columbo_img3.jpg

Oh...dats funny, Mr. Danger. "Or the outlaw". Yes. Very very funny. I'll have to tell that one to Missus Columbo. She'll get a kick out of it. "Or the outlaw".

So...what did I write here? "Old one:hassle Mac didn't work." But of course, you knew about it all the time. So. That's that. Tank you very much. You've been a big help.
 
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  • #55
:smile: I hate to leave on that note, but I'm late for my darts match. I'll get back to you late tonight or tomorrow morning.
 
  • #56
Danger said:
Any time. Always glad to help out the law. Or is that help the outlaw? Either way...
I thought it was more that you liked to help the law out.
 
  • #57
TheStatutoryApe said:
Shouldn't be shaving your nads in the dark. I can't imagine them needing it so bad that you couldn't wait until daylight.
Ha! Poor choice of exclamation on my part. How would that work, I wonder. I presume waxing would be less dangerous, but more painful?

Wait here, I'll find out.
 
  • #58
No, I forgot about electric razors. They're best, I think. Silly me.
 
  • #59
have you ever seen one of those Epiladies? rotating springs that grab the hair and rips it out. I had to see how it worked. OMG! Very uncool.
 
  • #60
tribdog said:
have you ever seen one of those Epiladies? rotating springs that grab the hair and rips it out. I had to see how it worked. OMG! Very uncool.
I thought epiladies were women who convulsed on the floor when subjected to strobe lighting.

Look, stop now. The bros. have receded into my pelvis and refuse to come out until we change the subject.
 
  • #61
oh, you still have those gerbils? And they aren't bros, one is female.
 
  • #62
Moonbear said:
I thought it was more that you liked to help the law out.
I'm so surrounded by in-laws now that I can't even tell any more.
 
  • #63
El Hombre Invisible said:
I thought epiladies were women who convulsed on the floor when subjected to strobe lighting.
Look, stop now. The bros. have receded into my pelvis and refuse to come out until we change the subject.
:smile: :smile: :smile: x2 (You earned 3 for each of those.)
 
  • #64
tribdog said:
oh, you still have those gerbils? And they aren't bros, one is female.
That's... just... Everytime I think about it my mind bends away from the idea like two like-charged magnets trying to dance a waltz.

My band has just changed its name to The 5hitting Jesuses. I'm so proud of that one.
 
  • #65
Danger said:
:smile: :smile: :smile: x2 (You earned 3 for each of those.)
Ha ha! Complicated scoring system.

I'm giving you :smile:(t) = :smile:0 + e^:smile: - 1/:smile: + :smile:t^2.
 
  • #66
El Hombre Invisible said:
I'm giving you :smile:(t) = :smile:0 + e^:smile: - 1/:smile: + :smile:t^2.
Am I reading it wrong, or does that say that I'm a square with only 9 toes? :confused:

Love your band name, by the bye. Do you actually spell it with a '5', or is that just to bypass the PF censor?
 
  • #67
Danger said:
Am I reading it wrong, or does that say that I'm a square with only 9 toes? :confused:
Probably. I shouldn't do math-related humour. I'm bad enough at humour, but I suck terribly at math. :smile:

Danger said:
Love your band name, by the bye. Do you actually spell it with a '5', or is that just to bypass the PF censor?
Purely a ruse to fool to the large lunar mammals among us. Alternatively I could have said we were now called 'The Lace Curtain Jesuses' and that... actually is odd enough to work. Glad you like the name. You can be an honourary groupie.

Why is that the polls are closed on the 9th but the awards aren't announced until the 12th? Can't we just look at the polls to see who won?
 
  • #68
El Hombre Invisible said:
Why is that the polls are closed on the 9th but the awards aren't announced until the 12th? Can't we just look at the polls to see who won?
I think that they have to double-check all of the filters to make sure that none of the Florida folks sneaked in fake Bush votes.
 
  • #69
Danger said:
I think that they have to double-check all of the filters to make sure that none of the Florida folks sneaked in fake Bush votes.
Heh heh. PF scandal as Community Spirit ballot found stuffed behind a pew in a church. Bernhardt Media announces winner before the results are in. I can see it all now...
 
  • #70
hey, we had some cheating last year, but I got away with it.
 

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