Funniest member - Artman, Danger, MIH, BobG, etc

[tribdog]

you aren't that entertaining to me either
lol I'm kidding

 

[Moonbear]

I have limited experience with reptiles, amphibians and rodents.

If you leave them all together, it's really easy to take care of them...er...well...at least the reptiles will be well fed.

 

[Huckleberry]

you aren't that entertaining to me either
lol I'm kidding

That's ok. I'm here mostly to entertain myself. It has become much more difficult to do so since I misplaced my Colorado River Toad, Bucket (Bucky). I think my dog, Lunch, ate him. Last time I saw Lunch he was howling "Easy Like Sunday Morning." I spent weeks looking for him but the only lead I got was an anonymous phone call claiming he moved in with a family in Oregon and changed his name to Dinner.

 

[tribdog]

okay Huckleberry as my last official job as funniest Member I'm going to help you out. Comedy lesson: less is more. Just like Moonbear uses too many words, you are overdoing the exaggeration. Instead of having a Colorado River Toad, just go with a dog, a little mutt, perhaps like the one I used to have named Candy. Instead of it getting eaten, perhaps it gets left at a rest area in the middle of he desert, just like Candy. And instead of it moving to oregon and changing its name it could get run over by a trucker named Jeff. The resulting story:
I had a little dog name Candy and she accidently got left at a rest area,but when we went back to find her she was being pried off of a truckers grill. And I don't see what's so god damn funny about that and why'd you bring that up? That was a tough time in my life and you just nonchalantly make jokes about it? what's your problem Huckleberry? jerk

 

[zoobyshoe]

And I don't see what's so god damn funny about that and why'd you bring that up? That was a tough time in my life and you just nonchalantly make jokes about it? what's your problem Huckleberry? jerk

"You hear that? Do you hear that? Tribdog, son. Nothing else in the world sounds like that. I love the whine of tribdog in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for twelve hours. When it was all over I walked up. We didn't find one of 'em, not one stinkin' tribdog body. The whine, you know that tribdog whine, the whole hill. Sounds like...victory."
-Lt. Kilgore, Tribpocalypse Now

 

[Pengwuino]

I should win this award simply for this dramatic portrayal of me by this young penguin actor.

 

[JamesU]

hmmm...It seems that all other contestants have dropped out

 

[El Hombre Invisible]

I should win this award simply for this dramatic portrayal of me by this young penguin actor.

It's real action that counts in the guru nominations, Pengwuino. No awards for cymbalic gestures.

Jeez, I'm ill. Well, not ill. Colds don't really count as 'ill', do they. They're just pointless and annoying and distracting. Tho being a man, I don't get colds, I get 'a touch of flu'. Always 'a touch of flu', never a cold. Lying on the couch groaning every time we cough, sneeze or blow our noses in that 'I need attention urgently' way. Bring me water, bring me food, can't reach the remote, my feet aren't covered. We're just big kids.

I'm not after sympathy. I'm after sympathy votes.

 

[Danger]

It's real action that counts in the guru nominations, Pengwuino. No awards for cymbalic gestures.

Beauty!

 

[El Hombre Invisible]

Beauty!

Why, thank you. My lame joke detector is a bit off today, hence the illness excuse.

Things are quiet in PF this pm.

 

[Danger]

I'm half a planet away from you, so I just woke up and am getting ready for work. Unfortunately, even those PFers in my own time zone seem to be nocturnal. That was always my favourite time to be active, but now that I'm working full-time and living with N/W, I have to go to bed by about 10:00.

 

[El Hombre Invisible]

I'm half a planet away from you, so I just woke up and am getting ready for work. Unfortunately, even those PFers in my own time zone seem to be nocturnal. That was always my favourite time to be active, but now that I'm working full-time and living with N/W, I have to go to bed by about 10:00.

Wow! PF for breakfast?!? THAT's dedication, my friend.

Yeah, that is the biggest problem with Britishness - no-one's around during the one period I have high-speed internet access. Well, that and the lack of law and order. And justice. And money. And the pubs shut at 11 pm. And the public transport doesn't work. And the people who serve you in any institution are rude, shoddy and unhygienic. And the endless sh1te films about good, decent, hard-working, honest, working class people attaining some ideal against all odds and upper class accents. And it's too small. And the climate is awful. And everyone hates each other. Not to mention is the poor state of education, pensions and the national health service. And the congestion. And the pollution. And the corruption.

But the main problem in Britain is that no-one is on PF when I am.

 

[Danger]

But the main problem in Britain is that no-one is on PF when I am.

The rest is a minor annoyance, but this is a serious societal flaw.

 

[El Hombre Invisible]

The rest is a minor annoyance, but this is a serious societal flaw.

You replied to that reeeeeeeeeeally quick. I'm feeling my high-speed connection ain't so high-speed no more.

 

[Danger]

That wasn't quick. I'm on N/W's computer, and it's got one of those stupid Celeron chips. One of these days, I'm going to have to move my Mac over here. (Can't right now though; she only has one working phone jack.)

 

[El Hombre Invisible]

That wasn't quick. I'm on N/W's computer, and it's got one of those stupid Celeron chips. One of these days, I'm going to have to move my Mac over here. (Can't right now though; she only has one working phone jack.)

Well, it was quick enough for me to post, hit 'New posts', and wonder why it hadn't updated the thread with my name.

Nads, I shaved in the dark again this morning and I've just fingered a reet big bit o' beard across my right jaw line. Told you we were shoddy.

Balls to it, I quit this job in two weeks. Might stop shaving altogether. Start coming in in my jamas and a dressing gown.

 

[Danger]

As long as you're sure you're going to quit before you start doing that...
Hey, I've just saved myself a lot of hassle. I always thought that I had to capitalize the 'i's to get italics. To think of the time and effort that I've wasted hitting that stupid 'shift' key...

 

[zoobyshoe]

As long as you're sure you're going to quit before you start doing that...
Hey, I've just saved myself a lot of hassle. I always thought that I had to capitalize the 'i's to get italics. To think of the time and effort that I've wasted hitting that stupid 'shift' key...

Yes, you could have been a millionaire by now, but for that squandered effort.

Wait till you find out about the italics button.

 

[Danger]

Yes, son... I know about the italics button.
The old one was a bit of a hassle, and the new one didn't work on my Mac the last time I tried it, so I just got used to typing it instead.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

Nads, I shaved in the dark again this morning and I've just fingered a reet big bit o' beard across my right jaw line. Told you we were shoddy.

Shouldn't be shaving your nads in the dark. I can't imagine them needing it so bad that you couldn't wait until daylight.

 

[Danger]

I suspect that his mama told him that it's evil to look at them. Good thing he doesn't use a straight-razor.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Yes, son... I know about the italics button.
The old one was a bit of a hassle, and the new one didn't work on my Mac the last time I tried it, so I just got used to typing it instead.

http://www.freenet.de/freenet/film_und_musik/dvd/bildershows/columbo/bilder_gross/01.jpeg
Oh. So you knew about the italics button, but...lemmesee...the old was "a bit of a hassle" and the new one didn't work on your Mac...so you typed it instead. I see. Well, I guess that's all the questions I had Mr. Danger. Tank you very much.

 

[Danger]

Any time. Always glad to help out the law. Or is that help the outlaw? Either way...

 

[zoobyshoe]

Any time. Always glad to help out the law. Or is that help the outlaw? Either way...

http://www.13emerue.fr/Images/401928/208355/columbo_img3.jpg

Oh...dats funny, Mr. Danger. "Or the outlaw". Yes. Very very funny. I'll have to tell that one to Missus Columbo. She'll get a kick out of it. "Or the outlaw".

So...what did I write here? "Old one:hassle Mac didn't work." But of course, you knew about it all the time. So. That's that. Tank you very much. You've been a big help.

 

[Danger]

I hate to leave on that note, but I'm late for my darts match. I'll get back to you late tonight or tomorrow morning.

 

[Moonbear]

Any time. Always glad to help out the law. Or is that help the outlaw? Either way...

I thought it was more that you liked to help the law out.

 

[El Hombre Invisible]

Shouldn't be shaving your nads in the dark. I can't imagine them needing it so bad that you couldn't wait until daylight.

Ha! Poor choice of exclamation on my part. How would that work, I wonder. I presume waxing would be less dangerous, but more painful?

Wait here, I'll find out.

 

[El Hombre Invisible]

No, I forgot about electric razors. They're best, I think. Silly me.

 

[tribdog]

have you ever seen one of those Epiladies? rotating springs that grab the hair and rips it out. I had to see how it worked. OMG! Very uncool.

 

[El Hombre Invisible]

have you ever seen one of those Epiladies? rotating springs that grab the hair and rips it out. I had to see how it worked. OMG! Very uncool.

I thought epiladies were women who convulsed on the floor when subjected to strobe lighting.

Look, stop now. The bros. have receded into my pelvis and refuse to come out until we change the subject.