Funny Great One-Liners from Mom

[Ivan Seeking]

Speaking of WKRP...

"I swear, I thought turkeys could fly".

 

[Astronuc]

Speaking of WKRP...

"I swear, I thought turkeys could fly".

Except when they are de-feathered, beheaded, frozen and/or stuffed.

It's more like falling.

 

[Astronuc]

Pickup and Put down.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you. :rofl:

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. :rofl: :rofl:

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine. :rofl:

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter. :rofl:

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized. :rofl:

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. :rofl: :rofl:

Man: I would go to the ends of the Earth for you.
Woman: But would you stay there? :rofl:

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd die laughing

 

[Artman]

Taking a short walk of just a few blocks with some friends, I said the classic line, "Are we there yet?"

The two daughters of my friend said in unison, "Yes, get out."

My friend said, "They're well trained."

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

Customer walks into a restaurant and says "Give me a BLT, hold the mayo, and step on it".

 

[Ivan Seeking]

"Too many people in Washington are leaking!"

re NY Times disclosure stories about gov spy programs.

 

[Averagesupernova]

Man: I would go to the ends of the Earth for you.
Woman: But would you stay there? :rofl:

Nah, that should be:
-
Man: I would go to the ends of the Earth for you.
Woman: You only need to go to one. I'll go to the other.

 

[Astronuc]

Nah, that should be:
-
Man: I would go to the ends of the Earth for you.
Woman: You only need to go to one. I'll go to the other.

Or,

Woman: OK, bye! :rofl:

or

Woman: OK, how soon can you leave. :tongue: :rofl: