Get my friend to use her head?

loseyourname

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arildno said:
It's Clausius2, I'm sure of it.
Our newest southern Californian member. A good choice if so, but does he not have a girlfriend?
 

Lisa!

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arildno said:
It's Clausius2, I'm sure of it.
:rofl: Lucky him who has a good friend like you!
 

honestrosewater

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loseyourname said:
DissidentDan
:surprised :rofl: Sorry, that deserved smileys. He's nice, just not my type.
So you'd actually tell me, huh? You feel that comfortable even though we've never once had any personal conversation?
I didn't want to tell him because he barely knows me, and I don't know how to explain things in a way that wouldn't make him feel uncomfortable. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed or anything; I would tell anyone else that knew me well enough to be pretty sure that I wasn't crazy (but not well enough to be pretty sure that I was crazy). It's not even like this is a big deal; I wanted to stop it from becoming a big deal.
Ha ha, that's all? Heck, I get happy when you're online, or hypnagogue, or Sleeth, just because I know there will likely be some good, well thought-out posts following shortly. If you mean that you IM this guy, though, I usually have the opposite response, because then I have to be vigilant with my away message to ensure that people don't bother me while I'm busy with something else (I'm not much of a multitasker).
No, I don't do IM, and I avoided PMing him because I thought that might just add fuel to the fire. And don't laugh - it was more than normal, friendly happiness. And there were other things too, but all of the examples I can think of would give him away.

Anyway, I give up trying to make sense of my feelings immediately or control them or talk about them without rambling or contradicting myself. I don't understand everything that I feel or what exactly I want or don't want or am willing or not willing to do. I tried to start in on that Latin book, but I couldn't concentrate. So I printed out your (loseyourname's) post, grabbed some poetry books, and curled up on the couch.
(Oh, and here's one for you:

Jenny Kissed Me

Jenny kiss'd me when we met,
Jumping from the chair she sat in;
Time, you thief, who love to get
Sweets into your list, put that in!
Say I'm weary, say I'm sad,
Say that health and wealth have miss'd me,
Say I'm growing old, but add,
Jenny kiss'd me.

- James Leigh Hunt)
I thought about how I've dealt with this situation and how I feel about love - whatever it happens to mean at the moment - and what you guys said and things from my past and watched the rain and guess what I realized. I love reading Shakespeare. And courtly love makes me want to vomit sometimes and love this even more

MY mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun
Coral is far more red than her lips’ red:
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask’d, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound:
I grant I never saw a goddess go,—
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.

and I don't know if he meant it but I love him if he did and I love thinking about what kind of person he may have been and what we may have talked about - this is not really new - I just finally don't feel guilty about letting myself feel happy and in love even though I don't know what all of the reasons are or whether they're logical or right - it isn't a selfish indulgence anymore.
The thinking that nothing is possible or not dreaming enough is so not me in other areas of my life but was right when it comes to love. I'm not afraid of loving someone else and even thinking that someone like that exists makes me so incredibly happy and I'm not afraid of getting hurt. I just didn't think such a person could possibly really love me and I was afraid that I might end up hurting them or disappointing them. This was surrounded by lots of crying. Eh, I've been crying a lot the last few days. Hell, I'm crying now - but happily. Okay, I stopped. Ah, I don't know what to say. I think I want my version of Shakespeare's version of Aristotle's perfect friendship. I realized much more, but I think I've gone on enough.

Anyway, that wasn't about this guy. But I sort of want to tell him now because... well I don't know why. What would you do? Nothing else regarding him has changed. And I still don't want to make him feel really weird. Eh, is it too late for that? Actually, maybe I should think about this a bit.
 
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You should be careful with your use of love when describing your feelings. Remember you don't know this person..
 

Evo

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HRW, my advice, for what it's worth. Don't think so much about it. Just be normal, be yourself, you said "She wants to learn about things that he's interested in just so she can talk to him", that can lead to problems later on if you're not genuinely interested in those things.

Instead of plotting this relationship out, just contact him, be honest and see what happens. If it doesn't click, that's ok. You're smart, you seem nice, and you're likeable. If he rejects you, just let us know and we'll stone him. :devil:
 
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Well I know its not me. 1) I am a jackass, and 2) how would she know that I do not live close to her.

Smurf is a jackass too, so it can't be him. I think we can rule yomamma out. Arildno can be ruled out, as can Danger, imo.

Does this person post in gd often?
 
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whozum said:
You should be careful with your use of love when describing your feelings. Remember you don't know this person..
Dude... you're married to Gale! :rofl:
 
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mattmns said:
Well I know its not me. 1) I am a jackass, and 2) how would she know that I do not live close to her.

Smurf is a jackass too, so it can't be him.
What are you talking about? It's a known fact that women are attracted to jerks!
 
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You are right! I guess I can't rule out anyone, well I still think, hope, we can rule out yomamma :smile:
 
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mattmns said:
You are right! I guess I can't rule out anyone, well I still think, hope, we can rule out yomamma :smile:
Oh course, HRW only dates brotherhood members. she has standards y'know.
 
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Smurf said:
Dude... you're married to Gale! :rofl:
Yeah what does that have to do with anything?
 

arildno

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whozum said:
Yeah what does that have to do with anything?
INFIDELITY ALERT!!!!
 
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Yeah. What he said!
 

honestrosewater

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Wow, so this thread moved me up a rung on the crazy ladder. I can see up Smurf's dress now! Or at least I think it's Smurf? Eh, live and learn. I'm sure one public breakdown every few years is perfectly normal by someone's standards anyway. The thing with the guy doesn't bother me anymore. I'm happy and getting back to feeling like myself again.
loseyourname said:
Actually, I think I should be excused here, as I actually have brought situations analagous to the reciting of Romeo and Juliet in Verona to fruition.
Care to tell us what you did? I don't want to be the only one making a fool of themselves around here.

If I ever proposed to someone (please don't misinterpret this - I'm on my twenty minute delusional time), I might consider a variation on Portia's three caskets. It makes even more sense after today.

The first of gold, who this inscription bears,
Who chooseth me, shall gain what many men desire.
The second silver, which this promise carries,
Who chooseth me, shall get as much as he deserves.
This third, dull lead, with warning all as blunt,
Who chooseth me, must giue and hazard all he hath.


I don't know how I would change it though...
whozum said:
You should be careful with your use of love when describing your feelings. Remember you don't know this person..
Oh, I was talking about Shakespeare. I've loved Shakespeare for a long time and have no problem with it. It may not be the kind of love you're thinking of.

And once more for the record: I overreacted. I didn't want any kind of special relationship with the guy. He's just cool.
 
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honestrosewater said:
And once more for the record: I overreacted. I didn't want any kind of special relationship with the guy. He's just cool.
Aww gee, I think you're cool too HRW!
 

honestrosewater

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Evo said:
HRW, my advice, for what it's worth. Don't think so much about it. Just be normal, be yourself, you said "She wants to learn about things that he's interested in just so she can talk to him", that can lead to problems later on if you're not genuinely interested in those things.

Instead of plotting this relationship out, just contact him, be honest and see what happens. If it doesn't click, that's ok. You're smart, you seem nice, and you're likeable. If he rejects you, just let us know and we'll stone him. :devil:
Thanks. I'm not worried about it anymore. I am interested in the subject, though I didn't have any plans to study it until I happened upon one of his threads. I still want to learn more about it for different reasons.
I'm just odd and freaked out about some silly things. I don't think telling him would do anyone any good, but who knows, something might change.
 
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Yep, she need not even tell us: Smurf and cool are definitiely synonymous.

Uh oh, no spell check, hope I got that right :smile:
 

loseyourname

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honestrosewater said:
Care to tell us what you did? I don't want to be the only one making a fool of themselves around here.
I did many things. If I'm ever in the Tampa area, I'll stop by and we can talk. (Note: I don't anticipate ever being in the Tampa area, but you never know.)

If I ever proposed to someone (please don't misinterpret this - I'm on my twenty minute delusional time), I might consider a variation on Portia's three caskets. It makes even more sense after today.
Wouldn't you need three men to choose from in order for this to work?
 

honestrosewater

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loseyourname said:
I did many things. If I'm ever in the Tampa area, I'll stop by and we can talk. (Note: I don't anticipate ever being in the Tampa area, but you never know.)
Okay, I'll keep a light in the window.
Wouldn't you need three men to choose from in order for this to work?
In the original setup, one of the caskets contains her picture; One suitor at a time chooses; If he chooses the casket containing her picture, they marry; If he chooses one of the others, they don't marry - ever (IIRC). Eh, I would probably change the last part anyway.
 

Lisa!

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Rose, let's put it this way, we should ask guys around here "what would you do if someone PMed you and told you she was interested in knowing you more?". But I think it needs another thread
 
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i know who it is... i don't even remember how i know. but i'm certain i do. he's a great guy rose, you can pick 'em.

anyway, i say go for it. just be content to talk to him and pursue something later on if you want to? why not anyway huh?

and anyway, hey lisa... guess what... i've done that hah. they usually pm you back, and lo' you get to know them more... its amazing i know...
 
Gale said:
anyway, i say go for it. just be content to talk to him and pursue something later on if you want to? why not anyway huh?
I think Gale is right, you should just see what happens. I think you'll realize it's not so difficult once you do it.:smile:
 
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hehehe... rose, if he didn't know before... he knows now...

anyways, like i said, he's a very cool guy. im him or something. talk to him more. get to know him. all that jazz. have fun. send him a picture... go for it!!
 

honestrosewater

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Thanks for the advice, everyone.
I realize I started this, and maybe I shouldn't have, but I'd be very grateful if his identity was left alone or the thread closed. I'd hate to be responsible for causing him any problems. :smile:
 
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